Little Changes Big Results® is Moving to a New BLOG AND WEB home!

Come along for the journey!

In an effort to coordinate all of my blogs (for parents, students, and balanced-life buffs), I'm housing all my blogs at BeckyTirabassi.com! To receive my weekly E-Newsletter, click here or text CHANGEWITHBECKY to 22828.

Please consider visiting regularly or subscribing to my Little Changes Big Results® Weekly Radio Spot and/or to the Little Changes Big Results® Blog -- designed for helping parents of teens, tweens, and twenties change culture for this young generation!

I so badly want to help students find their purpose in life and make a difference in the world! If you have students in High School or College, please forward/copy/send this Student Value Survey to them:

https://tinyurl.com/StudentValueSurvey

As a token of my appreciation, please download a PDF copy of my new ibook, Change Your Life in 8 Daily To-Do's by clicking here.

Be encouraged,

Becky
media@beckytirabassi.com
800.444.6189
BeckyTirabassi.com

Little Changes Big Results 06 02 11

Calls and Tweets about Dating, Family, and Relatives with issues!

Do You See What I See?

Since August of 2009, when I first began this blog, I've continued to write about current affairs that focus on our nation's obsession with food or sex or alcohol or street/prescription drugs.  Whether the "users" are parents, teachers, students, entertainers or athletes, the problem of addiction seems to touch all of us.

And after 100+ blogs and a little hiatus, I continue to ask, "Do you see what I see?" Does anyone else really want to see our nation change for the better? Are any of us willing to do something about the trend of addiction, assault, or abuse among our nation's young adults and children, rather than keep watching?

Because it is apparent that if we--adults who care--don't do or say something NOW, we will (1) watch another funeral of a talented musician who has a history of addiction, or (2) witness another arrest of students (or teachers) caught using drugs or assaulting/abusing coeds on their campus, or (3) risk becoming like 1/3 of Americans who suffer from obesity and heart disease because of poor eating habits and lack of exercise.

Addiction isn't someone else's problem.  This is an American problem and it touches almost every family.

In this blog, LittleChangesBigResultsOnline.com, I've addressed America's addiction to food, sex, drugs, and alcohol by providing immediate little changes that every family can make that are proven to result in big changes, such as improved health, second chances at life, or ending the legacy of addiction in your family.

What is one little change you can make today? Please let me know if there are topics you would like me to address by writing to info@beckytirabassionline.com.  Please forward this blog to a friend to join and receive weekly encouragement. Or read past posts that are of interest to you and make comments.

Make some noise!  Let me know that you are listening!

Be encouraged,

Becky

Love, Liquor and Lies

I was teenage alcoholic.  I regularly did things on a Friday night that I had no recollection of on a Saturday morning.  Someone usually had to tell me what I had done. Sometimes, I had to wait for weeks, even months, before knowing the full consequences of my drunken binges.

For so many underage drinkers, what starts out as fun and social turns into shame, or worse, tragedy.

In May of 2010, I blogged about Yeardley Love, a beautiful lacrosse player at the University of Virginia, whose life ended after a beating in her college apartment.  The last person to see her was her college boyfriend, who is now—this very week—on trial for allegedly killing her.

They were a darling, privileged couple; college seniors on very prestigious athletic teams at their esteemed university, the University of Virginia.

But there were signs of trouble—red flags—that so many people saw but didn’t report, such as public displays of physical or verbal abuse and excessive bouts of drinking. 

Today’s young men and women and their families need to talk about this story--how they would react if they had been friends with this couple, or parents who had known this couple, or coaches who coached this couple, or teammates who watched this tragedy unfold. If someone had spoken up and intervened, rather than remained silent, Yeardley Love might be still be alive.

It's too late for Yeardley Love, who died that night, or for George Hugley, who has been waiting for trial since 2010.  Their lives have changed forever by unrequited love, liquor abuse, and lies that kept everyone believing nothing bad would happen. But it did.

Don’t be naive.  Whether you are a student, parent, coach, or administrator, you must take time to understand the campus culture in America today. (For immediate insights and links to informative websites, read my Little Changes Big Results® blog, “They’re Not Waving, They’re Drowning,” that compiled FIVE similar stories and their tragic outcomes.) 

Adults MUST stop looking the other way.  We need to speak truth into the lives of young men and women--whether they are our own children or someone else's kids.  We need to “call them out” for bullying, binge drinking, sexual assault and abuse.  You and I—adults who care about this young generation—must talk to our kids and their friends about (1) the difference between love and sex, (2) the power of alcohol to ruin a life, and (3) the way that lies can distort reality and create a web of destruction. 

Start today, with one little change that could have a life-changing big results: please forward this blog to your friends with tweens, teens, and twenties. 

Be encouraged,

Becky

Do Your Kids Get 60 Minutes of Exercise a Day? CDC says they should!

Are you aware that the Center for Disease Control’s research recently found that students need approximately 60 minutes of exercise daily to remain healthy?

Yet, severe cuts to physical education programs in schools across America are the norm rather than the exception.  Fearing that exercise is a time-waster, schools have cut out what might be one of the best “brain” boosters our kids need!

These and other findings – on a gamut of issues related to children – should cause Americans to review, if not revise their personal policies and practices on health and wellness.  More importantly, parents should never depend on their schools or government to care more about the physical, emotional, social, and mental health of our children more than we do! 

Let’s break it down…

First ask, “What does ‘healthy’ mean to my family?” Is it dependent upon prosperity? Does it mean disease-free? Is it an “ideal” that remains elusive unless you enhance your life with injections or surgery or drugs or cleanses?

Health can be defined as how well a person functions: (1) physically (moving and breathing, coordination, energy and strength), (2) emotionally (soundness of mind and able to cope with change) (3) mentally growing in age-appropriate skills, as well as (4) relationally connected to their family, friends, and faith. 

Today, I urge you to begin with the most obvious area of health and take a short physical fitness assessment of your entire family.

1.    Is there any history of heart disease, smoking, addiction, or diabetes? 

2.    Do we eat a healthy, balanced diet of fresh fruits and vegetables, grains and protein or are we more prone to eat “fast foods” that are full of fats and sugars and carbohydrates? 

3.    Are we an active family—do we encourage playing outside, are we engaged in group and/or age-appropriate sports, do we enjoy hiking or walking or biking?   

No matter your answers, everyone can improve the health and wellness of his or her family.  You can begin today by making one little change that will have a big result:

Be the person in your neighborhood with a physical fitness plan! 

How?  Be the adult who gathers the neighborhood kids for weekly fun activities or outdoor recreation.  (Remember growing up to endless nights of neighborhood games such as “kick the can”, pick up soccer games, and family softball tournaments?)  Why not organize something that you enjoyed playing as a kid?  Or if you’re stuck inside, clear the basement or living room of all furniture and have a short PE class with blaring music—stretching, jumping jacks, jogging in place, knee lifts and lunges!

There will be more benefits than just burning calories!  You’ll know what’s going on with your kids. You’ll hear the “chit-chat” regarding school. You’ll become aware of new friendships, and you’ll be one of the first one to hear if there is trouble brewing.  You’ll not only be increasing their energy but you'll be improving their attention span for learning.  And if you really want to get make this a healthy endeavor, get a few other parents involved and provide healthy snacks such as nuts, fruit, and ice-cold water after the activity.

Come on—don’t wait for someone else to do this!  Get active. Be the change agent!

Be encouraged,

Becky

French Fries are Addicting and why "None is Better than One!"

You’re not crazy! French fries have been scientifically proven to be addicting!

In a recent study, researcher, Daniel Piomelli, Director of the UCI School of Medicine’s Center for Drug Discovery & Development, has identified the marijuana-like culprit that makes your brain (tongue and tummy) want more than one French fry: endocannabinoids!

Here is how it works:

"The process starts on the tongue, where fats in food generate a signal that travels first to the brain and then through a nerve bundle called the vagus to the intestines.

There, the signal stimulates the production of endocannabinoids, which initiates a surge in cell signaling that prompts the wanton intake of fatty foods, Piomelli said, probably by initiating the release of digestive chemicals linked to hunger and satiety that compel us to eat more."

So you’re not crazy—french fries are addicting! Now what? How can you overcome addiction?

Unfortunately, there is no simple secret to overcoming addiction.  But most recovered addicts admit, moderation just isn’t an option.  Cold turkey—or complete avoidance of a substance—is the only sure way to change the way ones brain thinks about or reacts to a once-loved chemical (food, drugs, alcohol, etc.).

As I approach my 34th year of sobriety (1/28), I know this subject intimately.  To quit drinking, I had to quit drinking.  I couldn’t toast champagne on special occasions, nor could I could have a “night cap” every once and a while.  There is no “I’ll just have one” in the vocabulary (or brain) of an addict.  

Actually, for the addict, none is better than one. Though it sounds like a big change, it's actually a little change to go from "some" to "none."  And you just make that decision "one day at a time" in order to get the big result of a healthy body, mind and soul!

Go for it!

Becky

A New Year's Challenge to Change!

Over the past few months, I have experienced a series of significant changes:

(1) My son and his wife moved into our home for a short stay and then left for Uganda, Africa for an 11 month trip. Their willingness to give up all they have to go where people need mentors and caregivers is beyond-inspiring to me!

(2) I started a Masters of Social Work program at USC--intensive reading, lots of writing, and not enough hours in my day!  I'm enthralled by what I'm learning.  I'm encouraged, knowing I'm in the right place at the right time in my life.

(3) We put our house up for sale--it is the end of one chapter that will lead to a new--somewhat unknown--chapter in our lives. I have entered one of those seasons where I don't know where I'm going!  Those seasons can either elicit either a spirit of adventure or anxiety!  I'm choosing adventure:)!

Today is January 1st, 2012.  It is the first day of a new year. It isn't a magical day UNLESS you choose to treat it as a special day of renewed hope, expectation, and change.    

Is it possible--to change in an instant or on one day, or just wake up a new person?

I'm convinced of this possibility because I experienced a radical, life-altering change of heart and mind--one afternoon in August of 1976. I was suicidal, addicted to alcohol and drugs, and possibly pregnant at the age of 21. Randomly, a stranger offered to pray for me.  This began the immediate process of change.  The stranger told me that God loved me and forgave me. I wasn't religious, but I knew I needed a miracle because I had tried to quit drinking and I just couldn't change by myself. At the time, I didn't realize how transforming the power of forgiveness would be.  But that is what changed me THAT DAY, THAT MOMENT.  First I believed--and then acted like I believed--two simple things the stranger told me:

* God loved me.  Everyone knew I was helpless. My friends, family and co-workers had seen my collapse. I was a mess, unable to help myself.  Yet for some reason, I believed that God loved me anyway.  That first thought was powerful enough to give me the courage to love myself enough NOT to take my life. It gave me hope to live.

* God forgave me. I had done so many awful things to myself and others, I knew didn't deserve forgiveness.  But the stranger made it clear that I would never deserve or earn forgiveness. It was a gift from God.  So I accepted the gift.

I walked out of the room THAT DAY and I physically looked different (my facial expressions had changed from depressed and anxious and guilty to peaceful). And I acted different (I was hope-filled, joy-filled, no longer suicidal, and I didn't want or need a drink). I even unashamedly told others that I was loved and forgiven by God and though they weren't religious, they couldn't deny that "wasted, suicidal Becky" was unexplainably different.  She was a changed woman in one afternoon.  And "the change" lasted for the next 35 years.

Most importantly, I knew that there were others just like me--depressed, anxious, addicted.  They needed to hear this life-changing message of love and forgiveness.  I hadn't been to a doctor or a hospital.  I wasn't given pills.  If love and forgiveness had changed me, I wanted others to know they too could be loved and forgiven, no matter what they'd done.  So I set out on a meaningful path--over 35 years ago--to tell as many people as I could that their lives were meant for something: they were supposed give love and extend forgiveness whenever they had the chance!

Nazi concentration camp survivor and renowned psychiatrist Victor Frankl, author of Man's Meaning of Significance, wrote, "...every human being has the freedom to change at any instant. . . one of the main features of human existence is the capacity to rise above (such) conditions, to grow beyond them. Man is capable of changing the world for the better, and of changing himself for the better if necessary."

May this day be the beginning of a new life for you and those you love!  May you accept God's love, acknowledge His forgiveness toward you and then go out into your world, loving and forgiving others.  This little change--of attitude--will have a significant, meaningful and big result in your life and upon those who know you!  I promise.

Be encouraged and Happy New Year!

Becky

Holiday Hiatus!

From Thanksgiving to Christmas, my Little Changes blog is taking a break!

Why the break?

1. My son and his wife are moving into our house TODAY before leaving for Uganda in late December!  They are going for 10 months to work with children in a sports ministry and with refugees and their children.  I admire them so much and I want to make this month with them as meaningful as possible.  (If you want more information on their Uganda work, visit JakeandKhara.com and click on the "Letter" tab.)

2. I am beginning my Masters of Social Work classes at USC this week and I just got my syllabi!  Apparently the first four weeks is the toughest and I'll be writing papers and reading text books like I haven't done in quite a while!  I like good grades so I am going to have to really focus on school work.

So in order to be a good coach to myself, a good student, and a good parent to my kids, I am going to "eliminate and concentrate" by focusing on those things over the next 4 weeks that require my utmost attention.  I encourage you to do the same!

Stay tuned! I'll be back before the New Year with a year-end post with a few little changes to give you the big results of a healthy body, improved relationships, and a productive life!

Be encouraged,

Becky

For more information or to register for any level in my 2012 Coaching Series (monthly, bi-monthly or weekly), click here.

3 Simple E's To STRESS RELIEF!

Dr. Rajita Sinha, Dirrector of the Yale Stress Center, in a recent interview with CNN Contributor Amada Enayati said, 

“Drugs like alcohol, nicotine and cocaine, and also high-fat, high-calorie comfort foods, are powerful modifiers of the stress system. They will change our stress pathways and affect the way our body is able to control our stress response. And so, after a period of bingeing, your body’s stress system eventually just wears out.

Your adrenal gland, which is responsible for releasing the stress hormone, becomes weak or sputters out. Then it doesn’t signal properly to help us cope. That, in turn, starts to affect us adversely - not just our biology, but also our emotional response.”

In this most informative interview, Dr. Sinha gave three little changes that every person (and family) can make in their daily lives to get the big results of reduced stress--a healthier body, more peaceful state of mind, and better interpersonal relationships.  She said, “We need to put greater emphasis on protective factors like sitting down with the family or exercising or putting away all the electronic devices.”

How can you implement these 3 simple stress-reducing “little changes” into your life this week?

Eat together.  Plan meal times with your family one day in advance.  Because most families no longer have the same weekday schedule due to increasing work commitments, ever-changing after school activities, or heavy business travel/traffic, it is unrealistic to plan to eat breakfast or dinner at the same time each day.  Having a plan for a regular "all family" meal should be made one day in advance. This gives everyone enough "lead time" to determine the cooking/grocery shopping/drive-time details in order for each family member make the "all family mealtime" happen smoothly.  Whether you eat "out" or at home, strive to provide your family with healthy foods and choices. Most restaurants cater to families wanting healthy choices--you might have to ask for healthy options then model healthy eating!!


Exercise regularly.  Regular exercise has SO many benefits--calorie burning, stress relief, cardiovascular improvement, weight reduction--yet most Americans struggle to do it!  If you would identify yourself as an irregular exerciser, here are a few tricks to making exercise a more consistent activity in your life:  

1. Have a regular exercise partner who will meet you at the gym or an agreed upon location (home, park, etc.). You will be more likely to workout if you have an accountability partner. 
2. Have fun. Add variety to your exercise.  Consider doing different routines or classes at the gym.  Try something new or crazy-for-you to do: dancing, boxing, or jump roping.  Variety and fun keeps you coming back!
3. Put a "workout backpack" in the trunk of your car packed with a bottle of water, pedometer, a pair walking shoes, towel, and bag of almonds. You’ll be ready to walk anytime you have extra time!

Electronically relax.  As the Dr. Rajita Sinha suggests, putting away your electronic devices as an immediate way to reduce stress in your life.  But be aware that putting away your electronic devices might result in withdrawal symptoms (physical anxiety). So take small steps toward this stress-reducing activity.  First, give advance notice to the people who might expect you to be in contact with them. Tell them that you are going to take an “electronic vacation” for an evening or a weekend.  If there is a reason someone might need to reach you in an emergency, give them a specific direction for reaching you (outside of the normal cell phone/text/email directions). Second (and I actually did this for 5 days), turn off and lock up your phone and/or computer and store them in a safe place that is “out of sight, out of mind.” Don’t "fire them back up" until a determined time.  Note: It might take a few hours (or even days) to decompress from your devices or overcome the temptation to retrieve your messages (every 3 minutes), but give it your best effort.  I promise, once you experience the peace and quiet (from lack of interruption), you’ll enjoy the quiet time--and probably increase your quality time with your love ones!

Apply each these “little changes” to your life this week and let me know if you were successful.  If you would like additional ideas, I've recorded a short audio clip on how to reduce stress with a few breathing exercises, click here.

Be encouraged,

Becky

info@beckytirabassionline.com

BeckyTirabassiOnline.com

25 Healthy Foods--Can you name them? How many do you eat?

So many Americans seem oblivious to the contents of what they eat or drink. (I know I've been there!)

Maybe it is as simple as this:  We can’t see our cells (nor do we read labels), so many of us unknowingly pump our bodies full of difficult-to-digest chemicals, dangerous-to-our-brains substances, or we’ll intake food portions that are disruptive if not destructive-to-our-body-systems (circular, digestive, etc.).

We maintain this casual “out of sight, out of mind” approach to eating and drinking until something happens to one of us or our family members.  

But we just can't be casual anymore.  Americans are facing epidemic health concerns related to food and drink.  Diabetes.  Poor circulation.  Obesity.  Addiction.  Circulatory diseases.  Illness that leads to repeated loss of work or missed school.  

How can we change America’s growing health problems one person, one family at a time?

Maybe it is as simple as this:  Begin today to make a few little, but significant, changes in your family's caloric intake in order to-to get the big results of improved heart-health, lowered cholesterol, and increased energy. 

Need help? Prevention Magazine recently compiled a list of 25 healthy foods and why they are good for you.  (Taking time to understand how your body works and what foods/fuel will make it work better is a huge step toward making better food choices.)

Here is this week’s “Little Change” Challenge:  Take a few minutes right now and jot down how many “healthy” foods you think are on Preventions “Top 25 Ridiculously Healthy Foods” list.  Then check off how many of those that you eat regularly.  Next, click here to compare your list with Prevention’s list. Finally, make a grocery list and add at least 5 of these delicious, superfoods to this week's menu.

And just for extra measure, share this information with someone you love who needs it!  

Be encouraged,

Becky

  

3 Little Changes for Reducing Daylight Savings Moodiness

Now that much of the nation has turned the clock back one hour, it is important to be aware that your body and its clock might experience an increase in moodiness.  This, in turn, can lead to eating more food (that leads to weight gain), withdrawing from social activities and losing sleep.  

Michael Terman, the director of the Center for Light Treatment and Biological Rhythms at Columbia University Medical Center, believes that less light can be “depressogenic.”  

Rather than give-in to "Daylight Savings Time Downers," consider implementing three little changes into your regular routine that will have big results:

Be Social.  Getting out and being with others will immediately “lift” your spirit.  But you can’t wait for people to invite you out.  Plan ahead -- two or three activities per week -- where you will be with other people: non-profit volunteering, indoor activities such as a weekly bowling league, or “closed” small group meetings with familiar faces.

Exercise Often.  Exercise releases endorphins--which make you feel better during and after the activity.  "My clinical impression is that regular aerobic workouts can markedly lift depressed mood in about 33% of patients," says Terman. "But if they don't keep it up, they quickly crash." Ideally, if you find an exercise partner who will meet you at the gym or at your house to workout together, you will be less likely to cancel your exercise and more likely to stay committed to the routine of working out (and enjoying its benefits), even when you don’t feel like it.

Breathe Deeply.  Besides the immediate distraction that concentrated deep breathing provides, there is also a physiological effect upon your vagus nerve:

“The vagus nerve is a very complex and widespread nerve that not only lowers heart rate and can lead to more relaxation, but also has branches that go to the face and [voicebox]," says Tiffany Field, director of the Touch Research Institute at Miami University.  “Under stress, the heart beats faster and blood pressure rises. The vagus nerve sends the opposite message.”


Begin today to make these 3 little changes so you can make it through the next few months with less moodiness!


Be encouraged,


Becky

Maintaining Weight Loss considered MORE DIFFICULT than Losing Weight!

If you needed proof, you just might have received it!  


"Maintaining weight loss may be more difficult than losing weight," says lead researcher Joseph Proietto, Ph.D., a professor of medicine at the University of Melbourne's Heidelberg Repatriation Hospital, in Victoria, Australia. "This may be due to biological changes rather than [a] voluntary return to old habits."

A recent October 2011 CNN Health article reports: “By some estimates, as many as 80% of overweight people who manage to slim down noticeably after a diet gain some or all of the weight back within one year.”  Citing the New England Journal of Medicine’s findings, the study shows that “the hunger-related hormones disrupted by dieting and weight loss can remain at altered levels for at least a year, fueling a heartier-than-normal appetite and thwarting the best intentions of dieters.”

Is there an immediate or practical way to combat this bad news?

Proietto says, “...personality and psychological factors may play a role in an individuals' ability to manage chronic hunger.”

In my LCBR® Life Coaching practice and coaching manual, Keep The Change, I require each reader (and my coachees) to take a detailed personality profile before beginning my program.  Because every personality type responds to eating and exercise differently, one of the key ways I encourage men and women to get fit quick is to take time to understand his or her personality.  Here are a few examples:

Sanguine personality types love to have fun.  For them, food is social and so is exercise.  Making sure your exercise routine includes friends and music is a must!

Choleric personality types love to be in charge!  They need to have lots of control both at the gym and over their food choices to be successful.  They love to lead others and usually become instructors!

Melancholy personality types love predictability and detail.  Give them a very specific eating plan and they feel safe.  Encourage them to exercise alone and keep detailed records, and they will be more successful than joining in group exercises where everyone is chatting or tardy.

Phlegmatic personality types are easy-going.  They will follow most any program as long as there is LOTS of encouragement, companionship, and follow-up!

One “little change” you can make today in order to get the “big result” of sustained weight loss is to understand your personality better.  Once you know your weaknesses and strengths, you’ll become a much better manager of your weight loss through healthy eating choices and consistent, regular exercise based on your personality!  For more information on my 60-Day Starting Over Series, click here.

Be encouraged, 

Becky  

info@beckytirabassionline.com

800.444.6189

For extra encouragement, visit the following Health.com links that give you: 

25 Diet Busting Ideas or 25 Ways to Cut 500 Calories a Day.

Obesity Trending - More than 35% of Americans are Overweight!

Obesity is trending.  Americans--35.8% of us--are overweight!

In a recent Gallup/Healthways poll, "researchers randomly telephoned more than 90,000 Americans between July 1st - Sept. 30, 2011. The pollsters asked about their height and weight to determine body mass index (BMI), as well as age, gender, ethnicity, education, and income. BMI values of 30 or higher are classified as "obese," 25.0 to 29.9 are "overweight," 18.5 to 24.9 are "normal weight," and 18.4 or less are "underweight."  

The states with the highest rate of obesity include Texas, Oklahoma, Missouri, Kentucky, Arkansas, Louisiana, Alabama, Missouri, Tennessee, West Virginia, South Carolina, Mississippi, and Michigan.  In a supplemental study titled Healthy Americans Report, it was revealed that, “The obesity epidemic continues to be most dramatic in the South, which includes nine of the 10 states with the highest adult obesity rates. States in the Northeast and West tend to have lower rates. Mississippi maintained the highest adult obesity rate for the seventh year in a row, and Colorado has the lowest obesity rate and is the only state with a rate under 20 percent."

Is obesity trending in your life? If so, it's time to make a change!

As a recovered addict, I can honestly say that I have never forgotten how desperate and lonely I felt when my life (and addiction) was so completely out-of-control.  I even became suicidal.  I just didn’t know where to turn.  But when I finally admitted to others (and myself) that I needed help, my life immediately began to change for good! I know have over 33 years of sobriety! 

Because I deeply understood the overwhelming pain and shame that occurs when one or more areas of your life is out-of-control, I became a certified life coach and fitness instructor to help others who struggle with addiction to food or alcohol. Since 2004, I have come alongside over 600 people who have also realized that they need to improve their health, not only for themselves, but for the sake of their family members who depend on them.  

Most importantly, I know the boost that happens when you get a second chance to start over and actually experience immediate change.  That is why I developed the "Little Changes Big Results® 60-Day Starting Over" Program.  As a "change coach," I begin by educating men and women on healthy eating (at home, at work, on the road, or at the office) and teaching them the importance of planning ahead.  Next, I provide my coachees with a daily, doable workout plan that includes short, 5 to 15 minute routines that starts with breathing and ends with stretching.  My coachees are required to send a daily food log to me so there is no room for a big relapse.  Finally, I offer regular, empathetic and encouraging accountability through phone coaching. It works--it really works!  (To read two "big results" success stories, click here.)

If you are stuck or need to start over, let me help you make “little changes” in every area of your life so that you can experience the “big results” of renewed health and self-respect!  

For more information, email info@beckytirabassionline.com or visit BeckyTirabassiOnline.com. 

Be encouraged,

Becky

How do today's teens view sex -- the CDC's report is in!

The facts are in!  

Between 41% and 43% of teenagers (boys and girls) have sex for the first time between the ages of 14 and 19.  Many don’t necessarily want to have sex, but they have it anyway.  Very often they are unprepared and as a result, many experience unwanted pregnancies and even more incur STD’s.  But, don’t take my word for it.  Download and read the entire October 2011 comprehensive study by the CDC titled:

Teenagers in the United States: Sexual Activity, Contraceptive Use, and Childbearing, 2006–2010 National Survey of Family Growth

Whether or not you have (or are soon going to have a teenager), I consider this report “must read” material.  

Why? 

First, it makes for VERY interesting conversation between you and any teen or tween, especially yours!  Reasons for why teens do what they do, current statistics, comparisons from previous years, and today's health impact are dissected and discussed. 

Second, it can serve as a “role playing” cheat sheet.  Reading the specific sections, such as “Wantedness…” or “Contraceptive Use” or “Feelings about…” give you great questions to ask teens, such as, “What would you do if you were in a similar situation?” or “Do you know of kids in your school who are pregnant?”  You might be surprised at your student’s naiveté or the depth of their knowledge!  

Third, it can open up a discussion to reveal exactly what your kids face in school everyday, especially if they haven’t had the courage to talk to you (or anyone) about it.  (Admittedly, not all school environments are the same, yet most junior high and high-schoolers experience some level of sexual encounter or conversation during an average school day.)

Here is my take:  After 30 consecutive years of coaching and mentoring teens, sex is still "the" hot topic.  And I would rather talk with my teen about what is going on in their school, how their friends are dealing with it, and what they would do if they found themselves in an uncomfortable sexual encounter than find out afterward they were intimidated or afraid to speak up.

If you are a parent or grandparent, mentor or boss, sibling, teacher or friend of a teen, I encourage you to to educate yourself on the issues facing kids in this culture (rather than rely on media myths).  

Once you know the facts, you will become an informed and effective communicator that has the potential to change the way a teenager thinks or acts.  You may not change a heart, but you might keep a teenager safe!

It's just a little change that can have a big result.

Be encouraged,

Becky

Can One Man Make a Difference?

If you’re like me, you have one or more electronic devices that were designed by Steve Jobs.  These incredible entertainment and connectivity devices most likely have made your life easier, more fun, more convenient, more colorful and more creative.  

That's why, during the many memorials given to honor the legacy of Steve Jobs, Apple Innovator, this past week, I took notes.  I wanted to capture his words on subjects which he knew so much about...

On Innovation, he said:

"Innovation distinguishes a follower from a leader."

On Intuition, he believed:

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life,” Jobs said. “Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

On Death, he surmised:

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life."

"No one wants to die.  Even people who want to go to heaven, don't want to die to get there. And yet, death is the destination we all share.  No one has ever escaped it. That is at it should be.  Because death is very likely the single best invention of life.  It's life's change agent.  It clears out the old to make way for the new."  

On Getting Fired, he reminisced:

"You can't connect the dots looking forward.  You can only connect them looking backwards.  So you have to trust that the dots will somehow will connect in the future. . . .Believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart even when they lead you off the well-worn path.  And that will make all the difference. . . .Getting fired from Apple was the best thing that ever happened to me.  It freed me and I entered into one of my most creative periods of my life.  You've got to find what you love..."

On Children, he felt:

"When you have a child, your heart is forever outside of your body."

For me, each of his quotes are not only memorable, but unforgettable.  They challenge me to make little changes in the way I speak or love or think so I can look forward to the big result of being remembered as someone who made others’ lives better.

I hope you are encouraged today by Steve Jobs' words today,

Becky

Can Dating Lead to Drinking?

“A new study suggests that teenagers with a new boyfriend or girlfriend tend to be more influenced by the drinking habits of their romantic partner's friends than they are by the partners themselves. Why? Dating introduces adolescents to new and different social networks and also creates a kind of indirect peer pressure, says lead researcher Derek Kreager, Ph.D., an associate professor of crime, law, and justice at Pennsylvania State University, in University Park.”

The outcome of the study may or may not be surprising to you—especially if you are a parent—but it does reveal a pattern:

"A teen's longtime friends tend to be like-minded when it comes to values and lifestyle, but romantic partners are more likely to come from a different circle."

Students are in transition!  They are moving from single students to dating students.  They are going to leave home—where there is accountability and standards/convictions and healthy food—to attend college where there is little accountability (if any) and a myriad of choices!

In this very insightful Health.com article, Angela Diaz, M.D., program and research director of the adolescent health center at the Mount Sinai Medical Center in New York goes on to explain: "It's during adolescence that kids start exploring adult behavior and adult roles, and looking for acceptance and respect," she says. "And throughout high school, a child's peer groups will change dramatically based on the new behaviors they pick up and the new people they encounter."

So if you are a parent…dating is not necessarily a fun and social “rite of passage.” In our current sex-crazed and binge-drinking culture, dating CAN BE an influential time of unsolicited experimentation and introductions to drinking, drugs, sex, abuse, addiction, skipping out on classes, cheating on tests, and more.

Parents, I promise that if you to make the following little changes with your students, you will get the big results that come from being a character coach:

Ask questions, “What, where, when, how, and why?”  Be inquisitive BUT not accusatory.  Make an appointment with your child to discuss your concerns.  Put great thought into HOW you will communicate with your student.  The best plan is to talk to them in a respectful tone of voice and listen to them without interrupting. Treat them in the way you would want to be treated.

Be aware of the current issues that are occurring in your school system and community.  Every area has a different culture.  Are there unusually large numbers of girls getting pregnant in your high school?  Is there a great deal of public affection displayed in public at school events? Are many students being cited for underage drinking in your community?

Coordinate social events and group dates with other parents.  Get to know the parents of your child’s friends and teammates.  Open up your homes for kids to hang out after school or after a sporting event.  Have an afternoon weekend “board game” day.  Have a stockpile of healthy snacks on hand—when kids are hungry, they’ll come to your house to eat!

Be encouraged,

What's In and What's Out in "After-School" Snacking

I recently volunteered to become an after-school helper for a family.  And my first temptation (actually I succumbed) was to take everyone out for yogurt!  So when I uncovered a recent Washington Post article on how to prepare healthy after-school snacks, I was “schooled,” not only by its thorough information, but on how easy it is to provide energy-boosting foods for lunches and snacks—for kids and adults.

Though the article was packed with ideas, he following little changes are sure to give you big results:

Make popcorn, instead of serving chips – it’s quick, easy and fibrous.  You can choose with or without butter and if you prefer, buy organic brands. 

Cut up veggies and serve with humus or cut up apples with almond butter.  They're chilled and crispy, healthy and chemical free. Perfect and easy!

The article even listed “what’s in” and “what’s out” for healthy snacks, such as serving graham crackers instead of cookies, almonds instead of peanuts, and skim milk instead of flavored milk. 

Honestly, it just takes a little “schooling” and you can get everyone moving in the right direction.  

Whether it is hyperactivity or obesity, our kids need to see adults making and providing healthy choices for the entire family.

Be encouraged,

Do you REALLY want to change?

If you are like me, you REALLY want to change one or more areas of your life.  Well, I have a suggestion that can get you started today!

Begin to change your life by making any changes that you can identify that are voluntary and visible…

I regularly coach people who are trying to make big, sweeping changes in their health or weight, marriage relationships, personality weaknesses (such as procrastination), or their job situations but they are stuck!  They cannot get focused on where to start nor can they keep momentum once they get started.

My observation is that people who are desperate to change erroneously focus (if not obsess) on what is out of their control rather than on what they can control.  Chasing after that which is elusive or invisible most often leads to inaction. And the only way I have found to make and sustain change is through an action plan!

So what is the antidote to inaction—otherwise fondly labeled “procrastination” or “paralyzation”? 

Immediately make any and all—no matter how small--visible and voluntary changes that you can make.  Right now.  Today, not later, not tomorrow, but today. At this very moment make a list of those things that hurt you and others and stop doing them right now.  Turn immediately away from every little thing that keeps you stuck and run toward the actions (and people) that will help you change.  It's that simple.  

In other words, if you want to change your diet, or your marriage, or your job, then change what you can see and what you can do right now.

A little change will have a big result when it…

shuts the door on old habits,

tells the tempter to go away,

gives you a feeling of achievement rather than disappointment,

empowers you to give back to others,

allows you to receive forgiveness from those you’ve hurt,

reminds you of who you are and affirms your purpose in life!

If you need help making a little (or a big) change, contact me or visit my website, ChangeYourLifeDaily.com or call my office at 800.444.6189 for personalized life coaching packages that are designed to help you start over in 60 days, tackle one issue in 6 weeks, or receive coaching to become a more effective communicator.

Be encouraged,

Becky

Certified Life Coach and ACE Certified Fitness Instructor

Author and Speaker

Understanding Grief

Today, our nation grieves the loss of those who died on September 11th, 2001.  Through religious services, silence observed at athletic events, and ceremonies held in the cities most impacted by the terrorist attacks ten years ago, we remember.

It was the sacred and emotional ceremony that took place this morning at the beautiful 9/11 Memorial at Ground Zero in New York City that caused me to choke back tears. Water streaming over the sides of the memorial pool, then gently rolling toward its center, only to slip into a deep and unseen place seemed a perfect way to reflect on each life that had been lost but not forgotten.

These national ceremonies remind us that grief and loss are part of life.

In the past few months, I've experienced the loss of a family member and a friend. What I have found is that everyone experiences grief differently. Yet knowing how to help those who are grieving begins with understanding those differences.

Studies show that men experience grief differently than women:  

“No matter what sex, we oscillate between positive and negative emotions, between waves of sadness about the loss and hope for the future,” he said in a telephone interview. “This can be frustrating for men, who often seek the ‘quick-fix’ approach.” Sherry Schachter, director of bereavement services at Calvary Hospital in the Bronx and a grief specialist for 25 years, said in a telephone interview: “While women grieve intuitively, open to expressing their feelings, men are ‘instrumental’ grievers. They’re not comfortable with talking about their feelings, and they prefer to do things to cope.” In a men’s group she has run for the last few years, she said, “I never ask, ‘How do you feel?’ Rather, I ask, ‘What did you do?’ ”  

How do children process grief?

The Child and Teen Program at Hospice and Palliative Care of Western Colorado suggests helping kids process their grief through artwork:

   “…grief can be a complicated emotion for kids to deal with. Whether they're dealing with a lost loved one or a sick family member, putting their emotions on paper can help kids better express how they feel.  "I think it makes all the difference," says art therapist Joni Beckner.  Beckner works with kids from age 3 to 18. With markers, ink and paint, they put their feelings of loss and grief on canvas.  "For situations like this, with loss and trauma," she says, "often there are no words to really articulate the experience and what's felt."  A therapist can learn a lot from what a child creates, for instance scenes with their family. The art can also be used to gauge how a child is dealing with grief."  

You don’t have to be a therapist to help others process their grief.

But to most effective, you might just need to make a few little changes in the way you communicate or approach men, women, or children who are grieving.  You can always be a good listener, provide warm meals, ask the right questions, or offer to attend a grief group with someone who is grieving.

Today, we remember the lives of those we’ve lost and love.

Be encouraged,

Becky

After a nice summer break, I'm firing up the blog after Labor Day!

After 100+ weekly posts, I've enjoyed a summer break (that included a few rounds of golf, a stay-cation in Newport Beach, lots of reading, and a trip up Highway One)--but I'm looking forward to returning to Little Changes Big Results® blog in September with a variety of articles on how you can make little changes that will have big results--not only in your life, but in your family and community, as well!

Coming up -- a potential tour to 40 college campuses in 2012!  Want me to help?  Let me know by emailing me at media@changeyourlifedaily.com or calling 800.444.6189 for more information.

Be encouraged,

Becky