Red Flags of Abuse on College Campuses

Before I realized that today's blog would post on Mother’s Day, I had already planned to discuss the recent tragedy of a female college athlete who died after a violent encounter with her ex-boyfriend, an outstanding student athlete on the same campus of University of Virginia. (For the recent reported details of women’s lacrosse player Yeardley Love’s death and the arrest of fellow U of VA lacrosse player George Huguely, click here.)

But instead of changing my plans, due to the sadness of the story on such a happy day, I felt convicted that the prevalence of sexual and domestic violence on college campuses is incredibly important to discuss no matter what day of the year. In fact, whether you are a parent, student, friend, coach, relative or neighbor of a high school or college student, there are specific things you should know about abuse.

For example, in the case of Love and Huguely, it was not the first time these two students had been in trouble—other students had witnessed signs of abuse...

The Washington Post reported:

“Eight of the 41 players on the roster of the University of Virginia men's lacrosse team, including accused murderer George Huguely, have been charged with alcohol-related offenses during their careers at the school, according to court records.

The fatal altercation between Huguely and Love early Monday in her Charlottesville apartment may not have been their first violent encounter. Two months before Love's death, two current and one former University of North Carolina lacrosse players intervened to separate Huguely from Love at a party on the U-Va. campus in Charlottesville, according to two sources with knowledge of the incident. The UNC players were in Charlottesville visiting with friends.”

There is no doubt that this recent tragedy has deeply impacted the families, the athletes and the campus at University of Virginia. But it wasn’t as if they were unaware of the growing problem of sexual and domestic violence on college campuses.

In a recent article, Christine Brennan of USAToday reported, “Two weeks ago, Claire Kaplan, Director of Sexual and Domestic Violence Services at the University of Virginia Women's Center, organized a two and half-hour session for a small group of the school's athletic department staff on a topic that has been vitally important to her for years: the creation of a support network to help student-athletes deal with gender-based violence.”

It wasn't enough.

Based on this story, alcohol-related sexual and domestic violence requires more attention of all concerned parents, adults and friends of college students. Why? Because we might be able to save someone’s life. How? By taking the next few minutes to become more knowledgeable of the “signs” of domestic/sexual abuse and research how to help friends who might be in an these types of relationships.

For example, did you know that of the young women on campuses who have been raped and sexually assaulted:

* 9 of 10 offenders were known to the victim (boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, classmate, friend, acquaintance or co-worker).

* College professors were not identified as committing any rapes or sexual coercions, however they were cited as the offender in a low number of cases involving unwanted sexual contact.

* 60% of completed rapes occurring on campus took place in the victim’s residence. 31% occurred in other living quarters on a campus and 10.3% took place in a fraternity. Off-campus victimizations also were more likely to occur in residences. Some respondents also reported that incidences took place in bars, dance clubs, and work settings.

In fact, here is one little change that you and I can make that can have a big result in someone else's life: become familiar with the suggested steps that will help a friend who is being abused.

Say Something—tell your friend what you are afraid of and what you see.
Become Informed – call a Hotline in your state or on your campus if you need help.
Guide your friend to professional help.
Help your friend get a plan for safety.

For more information that is extremely helpful, visit Red Flag Campaign.org:

Be encouraged to make a difference,

Becky