“A new study suggests that teenagers with a new boyfriend or girlfriend tend to be more influenced by the drinking habits of their romantic partner's friends than they are by the partners themselves. Why? Dating introduces adolescents to new and different social networks and also creates a kind of indirect peer pressure, says lead researcher Derek Kreager, Ph.D., an associate professor of crime, law, and justice at Pennsylvania State University, in University Park.”
The outcome of the study may or may not be surprising to you—especially if you are a parent—but it does reveal a pattern:
"A teen's longtime friends tend to be like-minded when it comes to values and lifestyle, but romantic partners are more likely to come from a different circle."
Students are in transition! They are moving from single students to dating students. They are going to leave home—where there is accountability and standards/convictions and healthy food—to attend college where there is little accountability (if any) and a myriad of choices!
In this very insightful Health.com article, Angela Diaz, M.D., program and research director of the adolescent health center at the Mount Sinai Medical Center in New York goes on to explain: "It's during adolescence that kids start exploring adult behavior and adult roles, and looking for acceptance and respect," she says. "And throughout high school, a child's peer groups will change dramatically based on the new behaviors they pick up and the new people they encounter."
So if you are a parent…dating is not necessarily a fun and social “rite of passage.” In our current sex-crazed and binge-drinking culture, dating CAN BE an influential time of unsolicited experimentation and introductions to drinking, drugs, sex, abuse, addiction, skipping out on classes, cheating on tests, and more.
Parents, I promise that if you to make the following little changes with your students, you will get the big results that come from being a character coach:
Ask questions, “What, where, when, how, and why?” Be inquisitive BUT not accusatory. Make an appointment with your child to discuss your concerns. Put great thought into HOW you will communicate with your student. The best plan is to talk to them in a respectful tone of voice and listen to them without interrupting. Treat them in the way you would want to be treated.
Be aware of the current issues that are occurring in your school system and community. Every area has a different culture. Are there unusually large numbers of girls getting pregnant in your high school? Is there a great deal of public affection displayed in public at school events? Are many students being cited for underage drinking in your community?
Coordinate social events and group dates with other parents. Get to know the parents of your child’s friends and teammates. Open up your homes for kids to hang out after school or after a sporting event. Have an afternoon weekend “board game” day. Have a stockpile of healthy snacks on hand—when kids are hungry, they’ll come to your house to eat!
Be encouraged,
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