In sports news this weekend, a “game changing” resignation-turned-indefinite-leave-of-absence was reported about Urban Meyer, current coach of the Florida Gators. The biggest surprise of the announcement regarding this young, 45 year old coach was that it was sparked by apparent heart-health concerns and traced to stress.
Stress is a game changer, not only for high profile coaches, but also for the average American because it can result in strokes, heart attacks or high blood pressure. For a quick stress quiz found on the MSN Health page, click here.
Most of us think we’re immune to stress related health concerns primarily because we are unaware of the symptoms. Julia Sorensen, MA, RPC, CCBT is a therapist and author who suggests over 40 of the most common symptoms of stress—both physical and behavioral/mental symptoms, such as:
Problems with memory
Quick temper
Anxiousness
Headache
Weight gain or loss
Acne breakout
Sleeping too much or too little
If stress is most common to those who experience trauma, grief, loss, or dramatic changes in their employment, financial security, housing, geographic location, or relationships, then in reality, stress is common to most of us. You are not alone if you have been forced to cope with, understand, alleviate, and minimize stress. But it doesn't have to be a game changer in your life.
If you want to see big results in your overall emotional and physical health in 2010, you can reduce your stress levels by making the following little changes:
Start with being aware of what, when, and how much you eat—an average of 2000 calories a day. Then increase your fitness activity to include 140 minutes each week. Next, get between seven to eight house of sleep each night. Finally, practice prayer and forgiveness in order to clear your heart and mind of unforgiveness and anger.
If you make these little changes, I promise you'll have a Happy New Year!
Becky
P.S. If you need help in reducing stress, losing weight, or getting spiritually fit, consider joining my 2010 Little Changes Big Results Online Coaching Series-five levels available.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
It's not too late to go back...
Some of us take longer than others to complete something we’ve started.
That’s my story.
I was a typical freshman at Bowling Green State University in northeastern Ohio in…1973. Yes, I began my college education at 18 years old—over three decades ago! Unfortunately, I was a binge-drinking alcoholic teenager—and I couldn’t admit it. The alcohol took over my life and soon, my grades dropped and I eventually drove away from campus after a shame-filled night, never to return…until 2005.
Let me explain the thirty years in between.
At the age of 21, I immediately got sober after a dramatic spiritual conversion. I was thrilled to begin a new life without alcohol and drugs and I became a youth worker. I got married, had a baby, wrote 15 books, became a Life Coach and traveled across America as a speaker. But I had never finished my undergraduate degree.
In the summer of 2005, one of the women whom I coached (who worked at BGSU) mentioned their new online program designed especially for students who had previously attended college and never finished. That was me!
Taking one class at a time, I slowly navigated the world of online long distance learning (Blackboard, LiveJournal, Skyping, Twitter, etc.). By 2009, I had become a senior and applied for graduation. Having just turned 54 years old, I couldn’t fathom taking four more years to graduate, and with the help of my family and co-workers, I arranged to disappear from my "real life" and take 22 credit hours during two summer sessions and complete my course work.
This weekend I graduated from Bowling Green State University with a Bachelors degree in Liberal Studies with a Communications emphasis. My 88-year old mother, brother, sister, husband, son and daughter-in-law trekked the country to watch me “walk,” though we were treated more like royalty. (Even a few of my high school friends joined in the celebration.)
Unexpectedly, a few months ago, because I am (somewhat of) a poster child for those who continue their education later in life, I was asked to speak at the December 19, 2009 Arts and Sciences Commencement.
In a wonderfully unique way, I spoke both as a peer to my fellow graduates and a parent/youth worker/recovering alcoholic.
My story is full hope. What you’ve left or lost can be retrieved or regained if you will persevere.
I encourage you, especially at this time of year when new beginnings are on everyone’s mind, to make a little change in your life—take just one class, research a field of employment that you’ve always wanted to pursue and see what it might take to move toward it, read one chapter of a book until you finish it, lose one pound of weight a week until you reach a healthy weight for your height, or attend a recovery meeting and start counting your sobriety birthdays (I will pick up my 32 year chip on January 28, 2010).
Little changes always lead to big results if you won't give up.
Be encouraged,
Becky
That’s my story.
I was a typical freshman at Bowling Green State University in northeastern Ohio in…1973. Yes, I began my college education at 18 years old—over three decades ago! Unfortunately, I was a binge-drinking alcoholic teenager—and I couldn’t admit it. The alcohol took over my life and soon, my grades dropped and I eventually drove away from campus after a shame-filled night, never to return…until 2005.
Let me explain the thirty years in between.
At the age of 21, I immediately got sober after a dramatic spiritual conversion. I was thrilled to begin a new life without alcohol and drugs and I became a youth worker. I got married, had a baby, wrote 15 books, became a Life Coach and traveled across America as a speaker. But I had never finished my undergraduate degree.
In the summer of 2005, one of the women whom I coached (who worked at BGSU) mentioned their new online program designed especially for students who had previously attended college and never finished. That was me!
Taking one class at a time, I slowly navigated the world of online long distance learning (Blackboard, LiveJournal, Skyping, Twitter, etc.). By 2009, I had become a senior and applied for graduation. Having just turned 54 years old, I couldn’t fathom taking four more years to graduate, and with the help of my family and co-workers, I arranged to disappear from my "real life" and take 22 credit hours during two summer sessions and complete my course work.
This weekend I graduated from Bowling Green State University with a Bachelors degree in Liberal Studies with a Communications emphasis. My 88-year old mother, brother, sister, husband, son and daughter-in-law trekked the country to watch me “walk,” though we were treated more like royalty. (Even a few of my high school friends joined in the celebration.)
Unexpectedly, a few months ago, because I am (somewhat of) a poster child for those who continue their education later in life, I was asked to speak at the December 19, 2009 Arts and Sciences Commencement.
In a wonderfully unique way, I spoke both as a peer to my fellow graduates and a parent/youth worker/recovering alcoholic.
My story is full hope. What you’ve left or lost can be retrieved or regained if you will persevere.
I encourage you, especially at this time of year when new beginnings are on everyone’s mind, to make a little change in your life—take just one class, research a field of employment that you’ve always wanted to pursue and see what it might take to move toward it, read one chapter of a book until you finish it, lose one pound of weight a week until you reach a healthy weight for your height, or attend a recovery meeting and start counting your sobriety birthdays (I will pick up my 32 year chip on January 28, 2010).
Little changes always lead to big results if you won't give up.
Be encouraged,
Becky
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Have you ever gotten high on exercise?
Tufts University Robin Kanarek, PhD, lead author in a study published in Behavioral Nueroscience, found that “intense exercise triggers release of neurotransmitters in the same way many addictive drugs do, resulting in a similar, albeit natural, chemical high.”
The reason I found this statement so interesting (and worth blogging about) is not because I agree that too many people are addicted to exercise, but because not enough people are willing to exercise!
I believe that one of the main reasons so many people have an aversion to exercise is because they don't focus on the benefits of it. This same study admits that…
Physical activity facilitates weight control, improves cardiovascular health, strengthens muscles and bones, promotes neuroplasticity, decreases anxiety, offsets depression, and elevates mood (Brene et al., 2006; Churchill et al., 2002; Greenwood & Fleshner, 2008; Paluska & Schwenk, 2000; Smits et al., 2008; Teychenne,
Ball, & Salmon, 2008).
If you want to feel better, look better, and think better thoughts, I encourage you to change the way you feel, look and think about exercise especially at this time of year. In fact, the following challenge, could keep you from gaining up to ten pounds in the next few weeks!
How? Start by taking a fitness walk around the mall every time you visit one this month, and/or park far away from the entrance of a store in which you grocery or gift shop. If you were going to join a gym in January, join NOW rather than waiting and right away, take a few new, funky classes—why not? To give you even more incentive to lose a few pounds (rather than gain a few), research and make low calorie/low fat/low sugar recipes to share at parties (rather than usual high-fat, high calorie fare). Next, be sure to ask a new (or old) exercise buddy to join you THIS WEEK--whether they come to your house and do a DVD workout or meet you at track to walk--just be sure to make an appointment with them. And last but not least, measure your waist and weigh-in on a scale every single week (same day and time) and post the results on your bathroom mirror. The truth will motivate you (and so will your friends)!
If you need to lose weight or inches, I encourage you to make a few, little changes in your eating and exercise routine—especially between now and the New Year—so that you can enjoy the big results!
Remember, a “new you" does not have to wait for the New Year!
Be encouraged,
Becky
The reason I found this statement so interesting (and worth blogging about) is not because I agree that too many people are addicted to exercise, but because not enough people are willing to exercise!
I believe that one of the main reasons so many people have an aversion to exercise is because they don't focus on the benefits of it. This same study admits that…
Physical activity facilitates weight control, improves cardiovascular health, strengthens muscles and bones, promotes neuroplasticity, decreases anxiety, offsets depression, and elevates mood (Brene et al., 2006; Churchill et al., 2002; Greenwood & Fleshner, 2008; Paluska & Schwenk, 2000; Smits et al., 2008; Teychenne,
Ball, & Salmon, 2008).
If you want to feel better, look better, and think better thoughts, I encourage you to change the way you feel, look and think about exercise especially at this time of year. In fact, the following challenge, could keep you from gaining up to ten pounds in the next few weeks!
How? Start by taking a fitness walk around the mall every time you visit one this month, and/or park far away from the entrance of a store in which you grocery or gift shop. If you were going to join a gym in January, join NOW rather than waiting and right away, take a few new, funky classes—why not? To give you even more incentive to lose a few pounds (rather than gain a few), research and make low calorie/low fat/low sugar recipes to share at parties (rather than usual high-fat, high calorie fare). Next, be sure to ask a new (or old) exercise buddy to join you THIS WEEK--whether they come to your house and do a DVD workout or meet you at track to walk--just be sure to make an appointment with them. And last but not least, measure your waist and weigh-in on a scale every single week (same day and time) and post the results on your bathroom mirror. The truth will motivate you (and so will your friends)!
If you need to lose weight or inches, I encourage you to make a few, little changes in your eating and exercise routine—especially between now and the New Year—so that you can enjoy the big results!
Remember, a “new you" does not have to wait for the New Year!
Be encouraged,
Becky
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Tiger, Tiger, Tiger…
For me, a typical Friday night out on the town in Newport Beach, California often includes dinner and movie with friends.
This weekend was no different.
Halfway through a just-released holiday movie, in a sweet scene, a grandpa was trying to impress his grandson by attempting to hit a golf ball off an elevated par three tee onto a small, round green set among trees. In typical “grandpa is bragging and has no reason to do so” fashion, the grandpa compares himself and his swing to “Tiger.”
If this movie had opened last month, the reference to Tiger’s name (at least in my location, which boasts of numerous resort golf courses) would have elicited a huge smile or the friendly poke of an elbow, affirming the esteemed quality of the world-renowned player being mentioned by the grandpa.
Not this weekend. No. In a theater of hundreds of moviegoers, the mention of Tiger’s name elicited an unexpected reaction: laughter. There was no hush of immediate respect given the world’s number one golfer. Nor was there much sympathy. Instead, the vast majority of this roomful of adults (not watching SportsCenter, so not expecting sporting news) snickered at the mention of his name.
At least in this public setting, Tiger’s name—and perhaps even his brand—no longer garnered a collective response of awe for his iconic athletic power and prowess. Instead his name seemed to equate more with embarrassment and weakness.
The entire scenario begs the question, “Can a reputation be changed?”
The definition of change means “the act of becoming different.”
I’m convinced that the power to change requires admission that you (1) have a problem and (2) need the help of God and others to become different. Following on the heels of such an admission (with true remorse as the motivation), there must be a daily action plan that includes real accountability if change—the act of becoming different--is ever going to be sustained.
I know. As a recovering alcoholic, I’ve been at the lowest point of personal shame and found that asking forgiveness from God and others then making innumerable public and personal amends is one sure way to restore trust and rebuild a reputation. But it is a process that takes time and effort.
For the sake of any individual and their family in the midst of public embarrassment or private disappointment, I am confident that taking the necessary time and effort to make consistent, measurable little changes will lead to big results…beginning with the restoration of ones closest relationships.
Be encouraged,
Becky
This weekend was no different.
Halfway through a just-released holiday movie, in a sweet scene, a grandpa was trying to impress his grandson by attempting to hit a golf ball off an elevated par three tee onto a small, round green set among trees. In typical “grandpa is bragging and has no reason to do so” fashion, the grandpa compares himself and his swing to “Tiger.”
If this movie had opened last month, the reference to Tiger’s name (at least in my location, which boasts of numerous resort golf courses) would have elicited a huge smile or the friendly poke of an elbow, affirming the esteemed quality of the world-renowned player being mentioned by the grandpa.
Not this weekend. No. In a theater of hundreds of moviegoers, the mention of Tiger’s name elicited an unexpected reaction: laughter. There was no hush of immediate respect given the world’s number one golfer. Nor was there much sympathy. Instead, the vast majority of this roomful of adults (not watching SportsCenter, so not expecting sporting news) snickered at the mention of his name.
At least in this public setting, Tiger’s name—and perhaps even his brand—no longer garnered a collective response of awe for his iconic athletic power and prowess. Instead his name seemed to equate more with embarrassment and weakness.
The entire scenario begs the question, “Can a reputation be changed?”
The definition of change means “the act of becoming different.”
I’m convinced that the power to change requires admission that you (1) have a problem and (2) need the help of God and others to become different. Following on the heels of such an admission (with true remorse as the motivation), there must be a daily action plan that includes real accountability if change—the act of becoming different--is ever going to be sustained.
I know. As a recovering alcoholic, I’ve been at the lowest point of personal shame and found that asking forgiveness from God and others then making innumerable public and personal amends is one sure way to restore trust and rebuild a reputation. But it is a process that takes time and effort.
For the sake of any individual and their family in the midst of public embarrassment or private disappointment, I am confident that taking the necessary time and effort to make consistent, measurable little changes will lead to big results…beginning with the restoration of ones closest relationships.
Be encouraged,
Becky
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Finally...A "MUST SEE" Movie!
I knew the movie The Blind Side was special when my husband and I both woke up the morning after seeing it and immediately began talking about it. That makes it a "MUST SEE" movie in my book!
Besides making me laugh while crying, I couldn’t help but marvel at the creative writing, consistent humor, and phenomenal casting in The Blind Side.
Disclaimer: If you haven’t seen The Blind Side and you don’t want the plot revealed, stop reading this blog…but please go see the movie. (Click here for show times in your area.)
The Blind Side delivers more than great, family entertainment. It issues a challenge. It motivates viewers of every age to consider making little changes in their lives that could have big results in someone else’s life.
For example…
If a janitor of a private school hadn’t taken teenager, Michael Oher, off the streets and given him a couch to sleep on in his home, there might not have a been a movie. If the janitor hadn’t begged the coach of that school to consider developing Michael’s athletic size and talent, there might not have been a movie.
If the coach hadn’t lobbied the Board of that private school to give this physically talented boy an opportunity to play sports at their school, there might not have a been a movie.
If a young privileged boy hadn’t befriended an older, less fortunate student from the “other side of town,” there might not have been a movie.
If a sensitive, alert, and caring mom hadn’t encouraged her family to take in (and eventually become legal guardians) of a boy who needed clean clothes, food, and parental nurturing, there might not have been a movie (which by the way, was first a book).
The best part of The Blind Side is that it is a true story that shows other boys and girls, moms and dads, classmates and coaches how to find a need and fill it. It reveals the journey of how one family can give love, pay for tutoring, and enlist the help of others to secure a second, third and fourth chance for someone who needs to overcome his or her fears, shortcomings, and past before he or she can succeed.
Most importantly, it actually makes you and I consider how we can make a difference in someone else’s life even if it means being sacrificial, gutsy, or politically incorrect. Amazing!
So if you haven’t seen The Blind Side, it's worth your $10 bill to go see it this week. And I’m confident you will be challenged to consider how to find a need and fill it—right where you live.
Be encouraged,
Becky
By the way, if you prefer a less gushy review of The Blind Side, click here to read the Washington Post’s “take” on the flick.
Besides making me laugh while crying, I couldn’t help but marvel at the creative writing, consistent humor, and phenomenal casting in The Blind Side.
Disclaimer: If you haven’t seen The Blind Side and you don’t want the plot revealed, stop reading this blog…but please go see the movie. (Click here for show times in your area.)
The Blind Side delivers more than great, family entertainment. It issues a challenge. It motivates viewers of every age to consider making little changes in their lives that could have big results in someone else’s life.
For example…
If a janitor of a private school hadn’t taken teenager, Michael Oher, off the streets and given him a couch to sleep on in his home, there might not have a been a movie. If the janitor hadn’t begged the coach of that school to consider developing Michael’s athletic size and talent, there might not have been a movie.
If the coach hadn’t lobbied the Board of that private school to give this physically talented boy an opportunity to play sports at their school, there might not have a been a movie.
If a young privileged boy hadn’t befriended an older, less fortunate student from the “other side of town,” there might not have been a movie.
If a sensitive, alert, and caring mom hadn’t encouraged her family to take in (and eventually become legal guardians) of a boy who needed clean clothes, food, and parental nurturing, there might not have been a movie (which by the way, was first a book).
The best part of The Blind Side is that it is a true story that shows other boys and girls, moms and dads, classmates and coaches how to find a need and fill it. It reveals the journey of how one family can give love, pay for tutoring, and enlist the help of others to secure a second, third and fourth chance for someone who needs to overcome his or her fears, shortcomings, and past before he or she can succeed.
Most importantly, it actually makes you and I consider how we can make a difference in someone else’s life even if it means being sacrificial, gutsy, or politically incorrect. Amazing!
So if you haven’t seen The Blind Side, it's worth your $10 bill to go see it this week. And I’m confident you will be challenged to consider how to find a need and fill it—right where you live.
Be encouraged,
Becky
By the way, if you prefer a less gushy review of The Blind Side, click here to read the Washington Post’s “take” on the flick.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Are you a Grateful, Thankful American?
At church this weekend, our pastor listed numerous shocking statistics about world poverty, hunger, illiteracy, and the devastation of waterborne diseases on humanity. (For a comprehensive website, Global Issues, click here).
What was my pastor’s point? Americans live in abundance compared to most of the world. He suggested that we are a very fortunate and blessed nation that has a distorted view of ourselves! He reminded us, even if we are personally struggling financially and experiencing cutbacks or sacrifice, we still live above and beyond the lowest, basic standards of the rest of the world.
To highlight the disparity between what we want and need, he revealed that the price to end poverty, provide water, or medical aid to the malnourished, disease-stricken, and impoverished nations (especially for children) would cost under $10 billion dollars each, but Americans yearly spend…
$8 billion on cosmetics
$20 billion on ice cream, and
$475 billion on gifts (between Thanksgiving and Christmas)!
Wow! Doesn't this information make you want to be a grateful, thankful American by making little changes in the way you spend your time and money knowing with certainty that it will have big results in someone else's life?
This Thanksgiving and Christmas, share a meal or gifts with families who are in need or hurting. Visit the sick, imprisoned or shut-in or have a garage sale and send all the proceeds to the poorest children locally or globally. Spend 5 minutes searching the Internet for your local soup kitchen or homeless shelter and be linked immediately with those who need your time and money.
Make this your most grateful, thankful and Happy Thanksgiving!
Be encouraged,
Becky
What was my pastor’s point? Americans live in abundance compared to most of the world. He suggested that we are a very fortunate and blessed nation that has a distorted view of ourselves! He reminded us, even if we are personally struggling financially and experiencing cutbacks or sacrifice, we still live above and beyond the lowest, basic standards of the rest of the world.
To highlight the disparity between what we want and need, he revealed that the price to end poverty, provide water, or medical aid to the malnourished, disease-stricken, and impoverished nations (especially for children) would cost under $10 billion dollars each, but Americans yearly spend…
$8 billion on cosmetics
$20 billion on ice cream, and
$475 billion on gifts (between Thanksgiving and Christmas)!
Wow! Doesn't this information make you want to be a grateful, thankful American by making little changes in the way you spend your time and money knowing with certainty that it will have big results in someone else's life?
This Thanksgiving and Christmas, share a meal or gifts with families who are in need or hurting. Visit the sick, imprisoned or shut-in or have a garage sale and send all the proceeds to the poorest children locally or globally. Spend 5 minutes searching the Internet for your local soup kitchen or homeless shelter and be linked immediately with those who need your time and money.
Make this your most grateful, thankful and Happy Thanksgiving!
Be encouraged,
Becky
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Women are good for the economy!
This week on Good Morning America the findings of a recently released 132-page study titled, “Benchmarking Women’s Leadership” compiled by The White House Project was discussed. Detailing the statistics from ten sectors—business, education, religion, non-profit, law, military, politics, journalism, sports, and the media—the study revealed what percentage of leadership positions are held by women, the income comparisons between men and women holding the same positions, and the enormous impact these statistics have on our economy.
For example, did you know that 51% of the American workforces are women but a woman holds only 16% of the leadership positions in business, or that the religious and military sectors have the fewest women in leadership, and no sector exceeds 23% of women in leadership?
I personally found many of the paper’s findings surprising, including the following comments:
"Business: When women are present in significant numbers, the bottom line improves—from financial profits to the quality and scope of decision-making.
Education: Nationally, women are 57 percent of all college students but only 26 percent of full professors, 23 percent of university presidents and 14 percent of presidents at the doctoral degree-granting institutions.
Religion: Gauging the current status and progress of women in religious leadership is more difficult than in any other business and professional sector studied in this report.
Non-profit: Research has shown that nonprofits with women in leadership positions are more successful at carrying out their service mission – and that their employees, from CEOs to staff, are more satisfied with the organizations’ performance. The democratic and participative style of leadership favored by women seems especially well-suited to the ethos of the nonprofit world, which depends so heavily upon the contributions of volunteers.
Politics: Women constitute a powerful force in politics. They have voted at higher rates than men in every presidential election since 1980, and the gender gap has grown slightly larger with each successive election. In the 2004 elections, 8.8 million more women than men turned out to vote. In the 2008 elections, 10 million more women voted than men, according to the Census Bureau. However, the overwhelming majority of political office holders are still male."
In each category, specific and practical recommendations were given to encourage more women to step into leadership positions. For example, within the nonprofit sector, suggestions included:
*Develop appropriate mentoring and staff development opportunities.
*Teach women improved negotiation skills.
*Recruit, train and retain people of color across all levels of the organization.
*Widen the search criteria for top leadership positions—inside and outside of the organization.
This paper's findings advise men and women who are parents, educators, and business professionals to invite and encourage women to go after more leadership roles, to mentor them in all aspects of an organization, and help them overcome any barriers.
Think about what little change you could initiate in your workplace, educational institution, community, or church that could increase the number of women in leadership and ultimately have a big, positive result on our economy and culture.
Be encouraged,
Becky
For example, did you know that 51% of the American workforces are women but a woman holds only 16% of the leadership positions in business, or that the religious and military sectors have the fewest women in leadership, and no sector exceeds 23% of women in leadership?
I personally found many of the paper’s findings surprising, including the following comments:
"Business: When women are present in significant numbers, the bottom line improves—from financial profits to the quality and scope of decision-making.
Education: Nationally, women are 57 percent of all college students but only 26 percent of full professors, 23 percent of university presidents and 14 percent of presidents at the doctoral degree-granting institutions.
Religion: Gauging the current status and progress of women in religious leadership is more difficult than in any other business and professional sector studied in this report.
Non-profit: Research has shown that nonprofits with women in leadership positions are more successful at carrying out their service mission – and that their employees, from CEOs to staff, are more satisfied with the organizations’ performance. The democratic and participative style of leadership favored by women seems especially well-suited to the ethos of the nonprofit world, which depends so heavily upon the contributions of volunteers.
Politics: Women constitute a powerful force in politics. They have voted at higher rates than men in every presidential election since 1980, and the gender gap has grown slightly larger with each successive election. In the 2004 elections, 8.8 million more women than men turned out to vote. In the 2008 elections, 10 million more women voted than men, according to the Census Bureau. However, the overwhelming majority of political office holders are still male."
In each category, specific and practical recommendations were given to encourage more women to step into leadership positions. For example, within the nonprofit sector, suggestions included:
*Develop appropriate mentoring and staff development opportunities.
*Teach women improved negotiation skills.
*Recruit, train and retain people of color across all levels of the organization.
*Widen the search criteria for top leadership positions—inside and outside of the organization.
This paper's findings advise men and women who are parents, educators, and business professionals to invite and encourage women to go after more leadership roles, to mentor them in all aspects of an organization, and help them overcome any barriers.
Think about what little change you could initiate in your workplace, educational institution, community, or church that could increase the number of women in leadership and ultimately have a big, positive result on our economy and culture.
Be encouraged,
Becky
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Classmates. Really?
On October 27th, a Richmond, California high school girl was raped by at least four boys near her campus after leaving her Homecoming dance. Almost two dozen students watched. And no student stopped or reported the crime to authorities for over two hours.
The initial account of the incident was reported on MSNBC.com:
“Police said the girl left the dance and was walking to meet her father for a ride home when a classmate invited her to join a group drinking in the courtyard. The victim had drunk a large amount of alcohol by the time the assault began, police said.”
Two days later, The Digital Journal revealed additional information:
“More details have emerged as to what transpired Saturday night. The victim left the dance around 9:30 p.m. and planned to call her father to get a ride home. Before making that call, a classmate called to her from behind a chain-linked fence.
The victim and her friend then joined a group of teens in a poorly lit campus courtyard. The teens were drinking and, according to the San Jose Mercury News, police said "The victim drank a large amount of brandy in a short amount of time while socializing then collapsed. Someone dragged her to a bench, where several people stripped her, beat her, stole her jewelry and other belongings, and raped her."
Are you kidding me? A young high school girl was enticed to drink, violently raped, beaten and robbed until unconscious by students who were her classmates? Really? And her fellow classmates watched? Really?
I might be sounding like a broken record, but I don’t apologize. This story is becoming way too common, too often repeated, and too much of the fabric of our culture not to speak oft and long about the subject of teenage drinking.
If you ever thought drinking was a harmless pastime of teenagers and their classmates, this story is a wake-up call to all adults.
Drinking is not a harmless pastime with classmates. And this is not just someone else's problem.
(1) Alcohol is the reason more and more students are dying from overdoses (alcohol poisoning), dropping out of college, killing themselves (and others) while driving under its influence, or is the mysterious companion that hides illicit “date rape” drugs.
(2) Classmates (or friends) and alcohol are involved in a majority of the rapes of teenagers and young adults (See October 11th Little Changes Big Results post for more studies and statistics).
Maybe we just don’t want to believe such terrible statistics? Or maybe we don’t have teenagers, so we don’t feel the need to be concerned with the issue right now or any longer?
Whether we have teenagers or not, you and I can make a difference in our communities by having candid conversations regarding alcohol abuse with any and all the students or parents we know and care about—our neighbors, siblings, coworkers, family members, or church friends.
What can we say? First we have to educate ourselves. (If you need or want some practical advice, click here to check out Kansas State’s website regarding the prevalence of date rape drugs and alcohol.)
Then we can be informative, rather than judgmental. We can ask questions and be concerned listeners. We can be surrogate or spiritual parents who are shamelessly cautionary. And by all means, we should not hesitate to talk about this story with the parents, teenagers, or young adults who cross our paths.
One brief discussion (or even having the umpteenth conversation) regarding this issue has the potential to powerfully impact and potentially save someone's life. Isn't that worth any embarrassment or discomfort?
Be encouraged to make a difference,
Becky
The initial account of the incident was reported on MSNBC.com:
“Police said the girl left the dance and was walking to meet her father for a ride home when a classmate invited her to join a group drinking in the courtyard. The victim had drunk a large amount of alcohol by the time the assault began, police said.”
Two days later, The Digital Journal revealed additional information:
“More details have emerged as to what transpired Saturday night. The victim left the dance around 9:30 p.m. and planned to call her father to get a ride home. Before making that call, a classmate called to her from behind a chain-linked fence.
The victim and her friend then joined a group of teens in a poorly lit campus courtyard. The teens were drinking and, according to the San Jose Mercury News, police said "The victim drank a large amount of brandy in a short amount of time while socializing then collapsed. Someone dragged her to a bench, where several people stripped her, beat her, stole her jewelry and other belongings, and raped her."
Are you kidding me? A young high school girl was enticed to drink, violently raped, beaten and robbed until unconscious by students who were her classmates? Really? And her fellow classmates watched? Really?
I might be sounding like a broken record, but I don’t apologize. This story is becoming way too common, too often repeated, and too much of the fabric of our culture not to speak oft and long about the subject of teenage drinking.
If you ever thought drinking was a harmless pastime of teenagers and their classmates, this story is a wake-up call to all adults.
Drinking is not a harmless pastime with classmates. And this is not just someone else's problem.
(1) Alcohol is the reason more and more students are dying from overdoses (alcohol poisoning), dropping out of college, killing themselves (and others) while driving under its influence, or is the mysterious companion that hides illicit “date rape” drugs.
(2) Classmates (or friends) and alcohol are involved in a majority of the rapes of teenagers and young adults (See October 11th Little Changes Big Results post for more studies and statistics).
Maybe we just don’t want to believe such terrible statistics? Or maybe we don’t have teenagers, so we don’t feel the need to be concerned with the issue right now or any longer?
Whether we have teenagers or not, you and I can make a difference in our communities by having candid conversations regarding alcohol abuse with any and all the students or parents we know and care about—our neighbors, siblings, coworkers, family members, or church friends.
What can we say? First we have to educate ourselves. (If you need or want some practical advice, click here to check out Kansas State’s website regarding the prevalence of date rape drugs and alcohol.)
Then we can be informative, rather than judgmental. We can ask questions and be concerned listeners. We can be surrogate or spiritual parents who are shamelessly cautionary. And by all means, we should not hesitate to talk about this story with the parents, teenagers, or young adults who cross our paths.
One brief discussion (or even having the umpteenth conversation) regarding this issue has the potential to powerfully impact and potentially save someone's life. Isn't that worth any embarrassment or discomfort?
Be encouraged to make a difference,
Becky
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Sleep--A "Must" for a long, healthy life!
JJ Virgin, President of the National Association of Nutrition Professionals, in a recent article posted on Yahoo.com, suggests 5 Habits to Break Before It’s Too Late.
Beside the other NO-NO’s such as skipping breakfast, blowing off exercise, eating at night, or not counting the calories you drink, one of the most important lifestyle choices you can make is to get enough sleep!
How much is enough sleep? JJ concludes that “studies show a minimum of seven to nine hours of uninterrupted sleep (at night) are essential for health.”
Do you get seven to nine hours of sleep?
Unless you fight for it, make it a priority, or are convinced that sleep is extremely important to your overall health and wellness, the average person will most likely allow sleep to be one of the habits that gets overlooked and underestimated.
Maybe you’ve never considered the significant benefits of sleep? First of all, when you sleep your body repairs and heals itself. Additionally, sleep impacts healthy weight management. (Sleep experts Michael Breus, Ph.D. and Steven Lamm, M.D suggest that you can lose weight in your sleep without even changing your diet.) And these are just two of the many reasons why it is important to jealously guard the amount of sleep you get each night.
Can you change your sleep habits immediately?
Even little changes can lead to big results:
Each morning, plan your bedtime when you awake. Take into consideration each day's work or travel schedule and personal activities, including workouts and meals, then set your bedtime—even set your alarm time for the next day. A few hours before your pre-determined bedtime, set the mood for sleeping by turning off your computer, television, and telephone. Wind down by reading enjoyable material (not business-related or anxiety-producing fiction), or take a hot bath and drink a cup of herbal tea. And as an extra precaution have no caffeine or alcohol within three hours of bedtime.
Try these suggestions for 30 days…keeping a sleep log by your bed to record how you are going to get seven to nine hours of sleep each night. I know you'll feel better and maybe even lose a little weight--in your sleep!
Be encouraged,
Becky
Beside the other NO-NO’s such as skipping breakfast, blowing off exercise, eating at night, or not counting the calories you drink, one of the most important lifestyle choices you can make is to get enough sleep!
How much is enough sleep? JJ concludes that “studies show a minimum of seven to nine hours of uninterrupted sleep (at night) are essential for health.”
Do you get seven to nine hours of sleep?
Unless you fight for it, make it a priority, or are convinced that sleep is extremely important to your overall health and wellness, the average person will most likely allow sleep to be one of the habits that gets overlooked and underestimated.
Maybe you’ve never considered the significant benefits of sleep? First of all, when you sleep your body repairs and heals itself. Additionally, sleep impacts healthy weight management. (Sleep experts Michael Breus, Ph.D. and Steven Lamm, M.D suggest that you can lose weight in your sleep without even changing your diet.) And these are just two of the many reasons why it is important to jealously guard the amount of sleep you get each night.
Can you change your sleep habits immediately?
Even little changes can lead to big results:
Each morning, plan your bedtime when you awake. Take into consideration each day's work or travel schedule and personal activities, including workouts and meals, then set your bedtime—even set your alarm time for the next day. A few hours before your pre-determined bedtime, set the mood for sleeping by turning off your computer, television, and telephone. Wind down by reading enjoyable material (not business-related or anxiety-producing fiction), or take a hot bath and drink a cup of herbal tea. And as an extra precaution have no caffeine or alcohol within three hours of bedtime.
Try these suggestions for 30 days…keeping a sleep log by your bed to record how you are going to get seven to nine hours of sleep each night. I know you'll feel better and maybe even lose a little weight--in your sleep!
Be encouraged,
Becky
Sunday, October 25, 2009
The Sugar-less challenge...
In today’s New York Times’ Health section it reads:
“Nearly two-thirds of the United States population is overweight. There are many ways to determine if a person is overweight, but experts believe that a person's body mass index (BMI) is the best way to assess an adult's weight in relation to their height.
A BMI between 18.5 and 24.9 is considered normal.
Adults with a BMI between 25 and 29.9 are considered overweight. There are exceptions. For example, an athlete may have a higher BMI but not be overweight.
Adults with a BMI greater than 30 are considered obese.
Adults with a BMI greater than or equal to 40 are considered extremely obese.
Anyone more than 100 pounds overweight is considered morbidly obese.”
(If you don’t know your BMI, click here to calculate your BMI on The National Institute of Health website.)
Most likely, simply understanding your BMI won’t stop you from overeating or inspire you to exercise, but it will give you a reality check about your body if it is seriously unhealthy.
But if you find yourself in an overweight or obese category (listed above), there is one immediate little change you can make that will have a big result on your overall weight loss and health.
Eliminate processed sugar from your diet. Sugar is carbohydrate that will convert to fat for storage if you eat more than your body needs or burns. (I encourage you to do a “google” search on sugar and read for yourself the many reasons it is unhealthy for you except in very small amounts.)
Start with soda pop which is loaded with sugar. Then eliminate all processed sugars up to a maximum of 10% of your daily food intake. Concentrate on eating only natural sugars found in fruit, etc. Substitute sugar with natural and/or organic sweeteners such as honey, agave, or stevia. And drink water (instead of sugary drinks) with added lemon, cucumber, or mint leaves for a refreshing taste.
If you start with soda pop, then continue until you remove all processed sugars from your daily intake, you will see an immediate and possibly dramatic weight change in a very short time. (My husband, who was not overweight, but due to other health concerns completely eliminated sugar and white flour--another carbohydrate--from his daily food intake and lost 25 pounds in less than 3 months.)
Let me know if you're up for the Sugar-less challenge!
Be encouraged,
Becky
“Nearly two-thirds of the United States population is overweight. There are many ways to determine if a person is overweight, but experts believe that a person's body mass index (BMI) is the best way to assess an adult's weight in relation to their height.
A BMI between 18.5 and 24.9 is considered normal.
Adults with a BMI between 25 and 29.9 are considered overweight. There are exceptions. For example, an athlete may have a higher BMI but not be overweight.
Adults with a BMI greater than 30 are considered obese.
Adults with a BMI greater than or equal to 40 are considered extremely obese.
Anyone more than 100 pounds overweight is considered morbidly obese.”
(If you don’t know your BMI, click here to calculate your BMI on The National Institute of Health website.)
Most likely, simply understanding your BMI won’t stop you from overeating or inspire you to exercise, but it will give you a reality check about your body if it is seriously unhealthy.
But if you find yourself in an overweight or obese category (listed above), there is one immediate little change you can make that will have a big result on your overall weight loss and health.
Eliminate processed sugar from your diet. Sugar is carbohydrate that will convert to fat for storage if you eat more than your body needs or burns. (I encourage you to do a “google” search on sugar and read for yourself the many reasons it is unhealthy for you except in very small amounts.)
Start with soda pop which is loaded with sugar. Then eliminate all processed sugars up to a maximum of 10% of your daily food intake. Concentrate on eating only natural sugars found in fruit, etc. Substitute sugar with natural and/or organic sweeteners such as honey, agave, or stevia. And drink water (instead of sugary drinks) with added lemon, cucumber, or mint leaves for a refreshing taste.
If you start with soda pop, then continue until you remove all processed sugars from your daily intake, you will see an immediate and possibly dramatic weight change in a very short time. (My husband, who was not overweight, but due to other health concerns completely eliminated sugar and white flour--another carbohydrate--from his daily food intake and lost 25 pounds in less than 3 months.)
Let me know if you're up for the Sugar-less challenge!
Be encouraged,
Becky
Sunday, October 18, 2009
A challenge to my readers…
Anyone can change someone else’s life and make a big difference. You don’t have to be educated or trained to powerfully impact someone else’s life. You just have to make a few phone calls, ask a few questions, and be willing to spend a little time with those who are hurting.
A few years ago, I was required to read a book for a Women’s Studies course about women in prison who were abused, forgotten, and hopeless. I can honestly say that I would never have chosen to read this book, especially because it was neither an entertaining nor encouraging “read.” But it was motivating.
As a result of reading about the reality, shame, and desperation of prisoners, I determined to call one of my pastors and see if I could visit a prison. The conversation turned into a very specific idea: take a Christmas service, including one of our coolest bands, to a local county detention center. We did.
For two weeks leading up to the one-hour visit, I would choke up with tears. Having never visited a detention center prior to this occasion, I could only imagine what I would encounter. And all I could think of is being a mom in a room full of kids who were in deep trouble, whose lives were shattered, whose futures were uncertain, whose own families were possibly broken, whose parents might be in jail or drug addicts, and who had no hope. I was passionate.
I didn’t have specialized training for this visit. I didn’t have credentials. But I did have hope. And I brought it with me. Lives were changed that day, including mine. I realized that prisons and detention centers are filled with people who have lost hope, who need visitors to assure them that they can change their lives—despite their genetics or family of origin or past.
So this is my challenge to you. Make a few phone calls—this week. Find a way to visit a prison or detention center or homeless shelter during the upcoming holiday season (and beyond). Take your family members or co-workers. Take a musician or a therapy dog and goodies. Be a part of taking packages, books, food, gifts, Bibles, and a messages of hope to prisoners the homeless or the abused—young or old.
You don’t have to be trained, just willing. You don’t have to be skilled, just compassionate. You don’t have to judge the prisoner or homeless, just offer them the hope that you have in the God of the Bible who loves the lost, hurting, and downtrodden. Remember the Good News is especially Good News to the desperate.
Give a little bit of time away to those in need and I guarantee that you will see a big result!
Be encouraged,
Becky
A few years ago, I was required to read a book for a Women’s Studies course about women in prison who were abused, forgotten, and hopeless. I can honestly say that I would never have chosen to read this book, especially because it was neither an entertaining nor encouraging “read.” But it was motivating.
As a result of reading about the reality, shame, and desperation of prisoners, I determined to call one of my pastors and see if I could visit a prison. The conversation turned into a very specific idea: take a Christmas service, including one of our coolest bands, to a local county detention center. We did.
For two weeks leading up to the one-hour visit, I would choke up with tears. Having never visited a detention center prior to this occasion, I could only imagine what I would encounter. And all I could think of is being a mom in a room full of kids who were in deep trouble, whose lives were shattered, whose futures were uncertain, whose own families were possibly broken, whose parents might be in jail or drug addicts, and who had no hope. I was passionate.
I didn’t have specialized training for this visit. I didn’t have credentials. But I did have hope. And I brought it with me. Lives were changed that day, including mine. I realized that prisons and detention centers are filled with people who have lost hope, who need visitors to assure them that they can change their lives—despite their genetics or family of origin or past.
So this is my challenge to you. Make a few phone calls—this week. Find a way to visit a prison or detention center or homeless shelter during the upcoming holiday season (and beyond). Take your family members or co-workers. Take a musician or a therapy dog and goodies. Be a part of taking packages, books, food, gifts, Bibles, and a messages of hope to prisoners the homeless or the abused—young or old.
You don’t have to be trained, just willing. You don’t have to be skilled, just compassionate. You don’t have to judge the prisoner or homeless, just offer them the hope that you have in the God of the Bible who loves the lost, hurting, and downtrodden. Remember the Good News is especially Good News to the desperate.
Give a little bit of time away to those in need and I guarantee that you will see a big result!
Be encouraged,
Becky
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Another sexual assault on a college campus...
I’ve been finishing my degree online for the past few years. And because I’m part of a state university college campus, I receive daily correspondence directed to all students (traditional, commuter, and online).
This week, I received a familiar notice (i.e. this was not the first time I’d read a similar report):
The Police Department reports that a female victim was sexually
assaulted in the early hours of Saturday, October 3, 2009, by a suspect known to the victim. Sexual Assault refers to a range of crimes from unwanted or offensive sexual touching to battery,attempted rape and rape.
The email went on to include:
-- Sexual Assault is non-consensual sexual activity. No means No!
-- For any sexual activity to be consensual, it must be clearly communicated.
-- Sexual Assault includes sexual activity with a person whose judgment is substantially impaired by drugs or alcohol. Only those who are sober can give consent.
When I first returned to college in 2004 to finish my degree, I wrote a paper that included the following research:
Robert DuRant of Wake Forest School of Medicine in 2003 found that 63% of college students drink and 54% of those who drink get drunk weekly . Research and studies done by New York University Health Center report that “84-97.8% of sexual assaults are perpetrated by men known to the victim and alcohol was involved in 74% of all sexual assaults.”
According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, “It is estimated that 97,000 students each year are victims of alcohol-related sexual assault or date rape, that almost a third (31%) of college students meet the criteria for a diagnosis of alcohol abuse…and 6% of college students meet criteria for a diagnosis of alcohol dependence (also referred to as alcoholism.)”
I was compelled to do this research because 30 years earlier, I had been a binge-drinking college student who was almost raped by a rugby team from another college. (I say, “almost raped,” because a few of my friends pulled the guys from the other campus off of me before it was too late.) The next morning I dropped out of college. I walked away from that traumatic event and didn’t tell anyone about it. Neither did I take any responsibility for my excessive drinking.
What was still is a deadly combination—high school and college girls who drink too much and lose control of their faculties and big, athletic, popular guys who drink and are physically stronger than the girls (they know or don’t know) at a party.
I’ve always been a crusader about alcohol abuse, especially with underage students. But when I returned to the same campus thirty years later and realized that alcohol and sexual assault are still way too common, I’ve become more and more out-spoken.
Most of all, I want to alert parents of the prevalence of alcohol abuse and sexual assault on every kind of college campus (religious, private, or state).
So, parents, I'm begging you talk with your students about these statistics. Talk about binge drinking. Ask them about their friends, their habits, and about weekend activities, friendships, and sorority or fraternity policies. Be diligent and unashamed to protect your children by talking about what you see, hear, and know is going on. And consider all of your options—same sex dorms, alcohol-free dorms, etc. Talk to the universities about how they are protecting your children and enforcing the dorm rules, and insuring your students’ safety. You can’t be over-protective in my opinion.
Students, you have to be smart. You have to stay sober in mixed company. You have to find friends and outlets for your passions that support your beliefs in faith, family, education, and the sanctity of life and marriage. Otherwise, you will become a statistic.
I encourage you to become a little part of making big changes in our culture by helping this young generation make wise decisions and live whole, healthy, and meaningful lives.
In all sincerity,
Becky
This week, I received a familiar notice (i.e. this was not the first time I’d read a similar report):
The Police Department reports that a female victim was sexually
assaulted in the early hours of Saturday, October 3, 2009, by a suspect known to the victim. Sexual Assault refers to a range of crimes from unwanted or offensive sexual touching to battery,attempted rape and rape.
The email went on to include:
-- Sexual Assault is non-consensual sexual activity. No means No!
-- For any sexual activity to be consensual, it must be clearly communicated.
-- Sexual Assault includes sexual activity with a person whose judgment is substantially impaired by drugs or alcohol. Only those who are sober can give consent.
When I first returned to college in 2004 to finish my degree, I wrote a paper that included the following research:
Robert DuRant of Wake Forest School of Medicine in 2003 found that 63% of college students drink and 54% of those who drink get drunk weekly . Research and studies done by New York University Health Center report that “84-97.8% of sexual assaults are perpetrated by men known to the victim and alcohol was involved in 74% of all sexual assaults.”
According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, “It is estimated that 97,000 students each year are victims of alcohol-related sexual assault or date rape, that almost a third (31%) of college students meet the criteria for a diagnosis of alcohol abuse…and 6% of college students meet criteria for a diagnosis of alcohol dependence (also referred to as alcoholism.)”
I was compelled to do this research because 30 years earlier, I had been a binge-drinking college student who was almost raped by a rugby team from another college. (I say, “almost raped,” because a few of my friends pulled the guys from the other campus off of me before it was too late.) The next morning I dropped out of college. I walked away from that traumatic event and didn’t tell anyone about it. Neither did I take any responsibility for my excessive drinking.
What was still is a deadly combination—high school and college girls who drink too much and lose control of their faculties and big, athletic, popular guys who drink and are physically stronger than the girls (they know or don’t know) at a party.
I’ve always been a crusader about alcohol abuse, especially with underage students. But when I returned to the same campus thirty years later and realized that alcohol and sexual assault are still way too common, I’ve become more and more out-spoken.
Most of all, I want to alert parents of the prevalence of alcohol abuse and sexual assault on every kind of college campus (religious, private, or state).
So, parents, I'm begging you talk with your students about these statistics. Talk about binge drinking. Ask them about their friends, their habits, and about weekend activities, friendships, and sorority or fraternity policies. Be diligent and unashamed to protect your children by talking about what you see, hear, and know is going on. And consider all of your options—same sex dorms, alcohol-free dorms, etc. Talk to the universities about how they are protecting your children and enforcing the dorm rules, and insuring your students’ safety. You can’t be over-protective in my opinion.
Students, you have to be smart. You have to stay sober in mixed company. You have to find friends and outlets for your passions that support your beliefs in faith, family, education, and the sanctity of life and marriage. Otherwise, you will become a statistic.
I encourage you to become a little part of making big changes in our culture by helping this young generation make wise decisions and live whole, healthy, and meaningful lives.
In all sincerity,
Becky
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Splurging has Benefits!
A surprising interview with Kelli Grant from SmartMoney.com showed that splurging can have positive benefits on people who are trying to save their money during tough financial times.
So what are the secrets to a splurge that won’t “bust the bank,” overstep your boundaries, but will instead produce positive benefits for you and others?
Contributor, Kelli Grant, gave four suggestions for “beneficial” splurging that everyone can follow, especially during the upcoming holiday season:
First, splurge on a budget! It sounds like oxymoron, but it’s not. It should be no surprise that studies showed that splurging releases endorphins, initial excitement in your brain—creating a happier mood. So with that in mind, the idea of choosing an item, a trip, a gift that you KNOW will make you and/or others happy is the first step in splurging on a budget. Set your sight on a goal, shop for the best price (versus stabbing at an impulsive purchase at a higher price), and begin to save for that item or trip or gift. Your daily/weekly monetary sacrifices will have a purpose and your excitement will build until you can make the purchase. (Remember “lay away” purchases? You chose the item, it was set aside and you paid for it in increments, but only possessed the item when it was paid in full? Same concept.)
Second, seek daily impact. Splurge on something that will have lasting value to you. A beautiful piece of jewelry you only wear once will not be enjoyable over time. When you think about a splurge—for yourself or others—consider how long, how lasting, how valuable will it be? For example, a framed photo or piece of art will last a long time. A laptop computer, a briefcase, a backpack or purse has daily use and will create continual enjoyment and benefit. A “one-time-wonder” will not produce the same benefit.
Third, check your motivation for a splurge. Ask, “Why do I want it or why do I want to give it?” Is it to compete with someone? Is it to fill a need? Is it a waste of time and money? Only you can answer those questions, but if/when a splurge can leave a lasting benefit, you will enjoy the experience and the purchase much more fully. (Note: Within this informative CBS News clip, research from a Harvard study showed people were happier when spending money on others than when they spent money only on themselves.)
Finally, consider a splurge that will make memories. Examples of splurges that make memories might include family vacations or reunions with friends at a campground, birthday trips (instead of birthday gifts), smaller and intimate destination weddings, or gifts that have much thought behind them such as antique furniture, a special edition used or autographed book, a collector’s item, or a single strand pearl necklace.
Splurging without being impulsive—what a novel idea!
If you will plan your splurge by choosing something that will have a lasting benefit, shop the best price, then budget for it, save "a little change" weekly and allow each sacrifice to build with expectation for the moment of purchase, you will experience the "big result" of giving and receiving something that has lasting value without the shame of lingering guilt or debt.
Be encouraged,
Becky
So what are the secrets to a splurge that won’t “bust the bank,” overstep your boundaries, but will instead produce positive benefits for you and others?
Contributor, Kelli Grant, gave four suggestions for “beneficial” splurging that everyone can follow, especially during the upcoming holiday season:
First, splurge on a budget! It sounds like oxymoron, but it’s not. It should be no surprise that studies showed that splurging releases endorphins, initial excitement in your brain—creating a happier mood. So with that in mind, the idea of choosing an item, a trip, a gift that you KNOW will make you and/or others happy is the first step in splurging on a budget. Set your sight on a goal, shop for the best price (versus stabbing at an impulsive purchase at a higher price), and begin to save for that item or trip or gift. Your daily/weekly monetary sacrifices will have a purpose and your excitement will build until you can make the purchase. (Remember “lay away” purchases? You chose the item, it was set aside and you paid for it in increments, but only possessed the item when it was paid in full? Same concept.)
Second, seek daily impact. Splurge on something that will have lasting value to you. A beautiful piece of jewelry you only wear once will not be enjoyable over time. When you think about a splurge—for yourself or others—consider how long, how lasting, how valuable will it be? For example, a framed photo or piece of art will last a long time. A laptop computer, a briefcase, a backpack or purse has daily use and will create continual enjoyment and benefit. A “one-time-wonder” will not produce the same benefit.
Third, check your motivation for a splurge. Ask, “Why do I want it or why do I want to give it?” Is it to compete with someone? Is it to fill a need? Is it a waste of time and money? Only you can answer those questions, but if/when a splurge can leave a lasting benefit, you will enjoy the experience and the purchase much more fully. (Note: Within this informative CBS News clip, research from a Harvard study showed people were happier when spending money on others than when they spent money only on themselves.)
Finally, consider a splurge that will make memories. Examples of splurges that make memories might include family vacations or reunions with friends at a campground, birthday trips (instead of birthday gifts), smaller and intimate destination weddings, or gifts that have much thought behind them such as antique furniture, a special edition used or autographed book, a collector’s item, or a single strand pearl necklace.
Splurging without being impulsive—what a novel idea!
If you will plan your splurge by choosing something that will have a lasting benefit, shop the best price, then budget for it, save "a little change" weekly and allow each sacrifice to build with expectation for the moment of purchase, you will experience the "big result" of giving and receiving something that has lasting value without the shame of lingering guilt or debt.
Be encouraged,
Becky
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Parents Matter
In two recent studies from the Pediatrics Journal the verdict is in: Parents Matter.
“The real message of this paper is that parents matter," says Ken Ginsburg, associate professor of pediatrics at The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia and University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine, and author of one of the papers. If you take this seriously and you are an active parent that gives appropriate rules and appropriate boundaries combined with warmth and support, you can actually make a tremendous difference here."
The paper--and the studies--were directed to parents of teenagers who were learning to drive, quoting stats such as this:
"In 2008, 4,400 teenagers died in car accidents. Car accidents are the leading cause of death for people 16 to 20 years old. The risk of teen-related accidents goes up dramatically when there are passengers in the car, if the teen is speeding, or if they've been drinking or using drugs."
In this revealing USAToday article, the results of the studies found that parents who are strict--who talk seriously and thoroughly about dangerous situations, who set boundaries that might sound overly-cautious, who release greater freedom after responsibility is displayed--are not being overbearing, but they are shaping the lives of their teenagers to be responsible and cautious young adults.
It's an article worth reading if you have children of any age.
As a parent, your ability and willingness to communicate and model truths to your children--whether they want to hear them or not and whether your peers are giving the same messages--matter.
Every little thing you preach to your kids will not carry as much weight with them as what you do.
I recall drinking my parent's liquor when I was underage. I remember swearing and not thinking it was inappropriate because my dad (a blue-collar worker) swore frequently. I remember smoking at a young age--and though I was told I should not smoke, my dad smoked. (Though I share these details openly, in my later years, my father and I had much love toward each other and many years of sobriety together.)
When I raised my son, I felt a great responsibility to not only talk with him about what I believed was good for him, but model my messages to him. (My son is now a mentor to students, an abstinence instructor, and a youth leader.)
The values, beliefs and convictions we want our kids to embrace may not be universal.
One of the hardest aspects of parenting in this culture is that the truths we hold dear and want our kids to embrace may not be the same ones that our family, community, school or neighborhood similarly accept. The Pediatric Journal studies give parents objective and important affirmation. They confirm that parents who mentor their kids by talking honestly and transparently with them about dangerous or defining issues will experience positive results that are more likely to lead to safe and responsible actions.
Parents should "take heart" from the findings in these studies. What you do and say matters. Though you may not be popular with your kids (or their peers or other parents), you must be willing to (1) live what you believe, (2) communicate the truths you hold dear with your kids at all stages of their upbringing, and (3) acknowledge that what is best or right might not always be what everyone else is doing or is allowed to do.
I implore you to be a courageous parent who sees little conversations and little lessons with little children leading to big results later in their lives.
Be encouraged,
Becky
“The real message of this paper is that parents matter," says Ken Ginsburg, associate professor of pediatrics at The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia and University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine, and author of one of the papers. If you take this seriously and you are an active parent that gives appropriate rules and appropriate boundaries combined with warmth and support, you can actually make a tremendous difference here."
The paper--and the studies--were directed to parents of teenagers who were learning to drive, quoting stats such as this:
"In 2008, 4,400 teenagers died in car accidents. Car accidents are the leading cause of death for people 16 to 20 years old. The risk of teen-related accidents goes up dramatically when there are passengers in the car, if the teen is speeding, or if they've been drinking or using drugs."
In this revealing USAToday article, the results of the studies found that parents who are strict--who talk seriously and thoroughly about dangerous situations, who set boundaries that might sound overly-cautious, who release greater freedom after responsibility is displayed--are not being overbearing, but they are shaping the lives of their teenagers to be responsible and cautious young adults.
It's an article worth reading if you have children of any age.
As a parent, your ability and willingness to communicate and model truths to your children--whether they want to hear them or not and whether your peers are giving the same messages--matter.
Every little thing you preach to your kids will not carry as much weight with them as what you do.
I recall drinking my parent's liquor when I was underage. I remember swearing and not thinking it was inappropriate because my dad (a blue-collar worker) swore frequently. I remember smoking at a young age--and though I was told I should not smoke, my dad smoked. (Though I share these details openly, in my later years, my father and I had much love toward each other and many years of sobriety together.)
When I raised my son, I felt a great responsibility to not only talk with him about what I believed was good for him, but model my messages to him. (My son is now a mentor to students, an abstinence instructor, and a youth leader.)
The values, beliefs and convictions we want our kids to embrace may not be universal.
One of the hardest aspects of parenting in this culture is that the truths we hold dear and want our kids to embrace may not be the same ones that our family, community, school or neighborhood similarly accept. The Pediatric Journal studies give parents objective and important affirmation. They confirm that parents who mentor their kids by talking honestly and transparently with them about dangerous or defining issues will experience positive results that are more likely to lead to safe and responsible actions.
Parents should "take heart" from the findings in these studies. What you do and say matters. Though you may not be popular with your kids (or their peers or other parents), you must be willing to (1) live what you believe, (2) communicate the truths you hold dear with your kids at all stages of their upbringing, and (3) acknowledge that what is best or right might not always be what everyone else is doing or is allowed to do.
I implore you to be a courageous parent who sees little conversations and little lessons with little children leading to big results later in their lives.
Be encouraged,
Becky
Sunday, September 20, 2009
The Biggest Loser--have you seen it?
One of the most-watched TV shows in America, The Biggest Loser™ is not simply about a dozen obese men and women who are sequestered on a ranch with a goal of being the one who lost the most weight and winner of $250,000. That’s just the hook. In my opinion, TBL is a show about guts and glory. It’s an expose about people who have no choice but to exhibit great courage in the face of great obstacles and great opposition.
If you watch the compelling saga unfold, it becomes a weekly lesson in how to overcome the odds against you, the genetics within you, and the assumptions you or others have expressed about you.
But did you know that The Biggest Loser™ was originally slated to be a reality TV show in which “lucky contestants” would be given a medical or surgical solution to lose weight with the expectation that this “gift” would radically change their lives? Instead, right before the first taping, the first fortunate few contestants chosen for the show were given an “opportunity” to lose weight the hard way—through healthy and very controlled eating, along with grueling workout regimens.
Since 2004, almost all of the contestants have experienced AMAZING weight loss—sometimes up to 100 pounds per person. And the majority of the men and women are extremely grateful to be given a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to concentrate on an area of their lives that is completely out-of-control. In fact, they push themselves (and so does their personal trainer) in ways they never thought possible—from forever saying “no” to their favorite unhealthy foods to submitting to difficult physical endurance challenges as well as exploring the reasons and feelings behind their eating habits—all in front of America!
The Biggest Loser™, if you’ve never seen it, is inspirational, not only for those who need to lose weight but also for the millions of us who must overcome our genetics, addictions, or fears.
More than a reality show about weight loss, it is a visual reminder that true and lasting change begins with little, daily, quantifiable changes that will add up to big results if you (1) never give up, (2) don’t go it alone, (3) and remain transparent and honest with yourselves and others!
Be encouraged,
Becky
If you watch the compelling saga unfold, it becomes a weekly lesson in how to overcome the odds against you, the genetics within you, and the assumptions you or others have expressed about you.
But did you know that The Biggest Loser™ was originally slated to be a reality TV show in which “lucky contestants” would be given a medical or surgical solution to lose weight with the expectation that this “gift” would radically change their lives? Instead, right before the first taping, the first fortunate few contestants chosen for the show were given an “opportunity” to lose weight the hard way—through healthy and very controlled eating, along with grueling workout regimens.
Since 2004, almost all of the contestants have experienced AMAZING weight loss—sometimes up to 100 pounds per person. And the majority of the men and women are extremely grateful to be given a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to concentrate on an area of their lives that is completely out-of-control. In fact, they push themselves (and so does their personal trainer) in ways they never thought possible—from forever saying “no” to their favorite unhealthy foods to submitting to difficult physical endurance challenges as well as exploring the reasons and feelings behind their eating habits—all in front of America!
The Biggest Loser™, if you’ve never seen it, is inspirational, not only for those who need to lose weight but also for the millions of us who must overcome our genetics, addictions, or fears.
More than a reality show about weight loss, it is a visual reminder that true and lasting change begins with little, daily, quantifiable changes that will add up to big results if you (1) never give up, (2) don’t go it alone, (3) and remain transparent and honest with yourselves and others!
Be encouraged,
Becky
Sunday, September 13, 2009
A Little Criticism Can Have Big Results...
Just as little steps in the right direction eventually lead to success, continuous steps in the wrong direction will undermine your faith, sabotage your fitness goals, or destroy your relationships. In other words, a little disrespect, a little dig, or a little demeaning glare—over time—will have big results: huge problems, great barriers, and deeply wounded souls.
My husband, Roger, is a relationship counselor.
He often comes home from a day’s work with an overwhelming sense that many people take their closest relationships for granted, often wounding each other with words of criticism or accusation. Rather than speaking words of affirmation to the ones they love, their words unload cutting remarks, deflate confidence or demean character.
Instead of growing stronger, relationships—families and marriages—are being torn apart by the very people who should be their advocate or friend.
WHY do we hurt the people we love? Sometimes we don’t realize we’re hurting someone. Other times we’re admittedly intentional with our daggers. But most often we’re operating out of selfishness or impulsivity. Unfortunately, a great deal of damage can result from continued criticism.
What can you do to reverse the trend of little digs, glares, and criticisms?
It’s simple. Stop. Control your anger—or get help controlling your anger. Ask for forgiveness. And keep asking until you are forgiven. Then start giving affirmations and affection, hugs and encouragement before you do or say anything else.
That’s right. Just stop, turn, and go the other way. It could save your relationship endless hours, days, or maybe even weeks of heartache.
Be encouraged,
Becky
My husband, Roger, is a relationship counselor.
He often comes home from a day’s work with an overwhelming sense that many people take their closest relationships for granted, often wounding each other with words of criticism or accusation. Rather than speaking words of affirmation to the ones they love, their words unload cutting remarks, deflate confidence or demean character.
Instead of growing stronger, relationships—families and marriages—are being torn apart by the very people who should be their advocate or friend.
WHY do we hurt the people we love? Sometimes we don’t realize we’re hurting someone. Other times we’re admittedly intentional with our daggers. But most often we’re operating out of selfishness or impulsivity. Unfortunately, a great deal of damage can result from continued criticism.
What can you do to reverse the trend of little digs, glares, and criticisms?
It’s simple. Stop. Control your anger—or get help controlling your anger. Ask for forgiveness. And keep asking until you are forgiven. Then start giving affirmations and affection, hugs and encouragement before you do or say anything else.
That’s right. Just stop, turn, and go the other way. It could save your relationship endless hours, days, or maybe even weeks of heartache.
Be encouraged,
Becky
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Back to School Hubbub
You've undoubtedly heard--whether you have kids in school or not--that (1) President Obama is delivering what some are considering a controversial, personal message to students in classrooms on September 8, challenging them to set goals for their lives while (2) the Swine Flu is expected to have an enormous impact on students in all grades (preschool through college). Both of these issues are hot topics with parents, administration, and teachers, but how do they affect you?
Before you are tempted to wish for the "good old days," or reminisce how life use to be so simple rather than complicated--economically or educationally--I must remind you about decades past. As a child, I remember getting TB shots in elementary school...wondering if I was going to get Tuberculosis (which seemed like a ominous and easy disease to contract). I also remember the President being assassinated and my life/school/time seemed to stop as my family, friends, and community mourned our nation's loss for days.
Back to school for any family or community is full of uncertainties and change. Therefore, I want to encourage to talk to your kids, co-workers, service attendants, grocers, teachers, banker tellers, or neighbors about their thoughts and feelings related to health, family, school, the President's speech, or their fears. Why? Because talking relieves stress, reveals any misconceptions, and exposes rumors or lies that can create unnecessary fear.
Take a little extra time this week to read, listen, and then talk to your family and friends about the "hubbub" that is happening in our country as kids go back to school: the President's speech and the Swine Flu impact in your community. Letting people (especially young people) express their concerns to you--their friend, teacher, neighbor or acquaintance--can instantly change his or her perspective from "gloom and doom" to hope and understanding.
Be encouraged,
Becky
Before you are tempted to wish for the "good old days," or reminisce how life use to be so simple rather than complicated--economically or educationally--I must remind you about decades past. As a child, I remember getting TB shots in elementary school...wondering if I was going to get Tuberculosis (which seemed like a ominous and easy disease to contract). I also remember the President being assassinated and my life/school/time seemed to stop as my family, friends, and community mourned our nation's loss for days.
Back to school for any family or community is full of uncertainties and change. Therefore, I want to encourage to talk to your kids, co-workers, service attendants, grocers, teachers, banker tellers, or neighbors about their thoughts and feelings related to health, family, school, the President's speech, or their fears. Why? Because talking relieves stress, reveals any misconceptions, and exposes rumors or lies that can create unnecessary fear.
Take a little extra time this week to read, listen, and then talk to your family and friends about the "hubbub" that is happening in our country as kids go back to school: the President's speech and the Swine Flu impact in your community. Letting people (especially young people) express their concerns to you--their friend, teacher, neighbor or acquaintance--can instantly change his or her perspective from "gloom and doom" to hope and understanding.
Be encouraged,
Becky
Sunday, August 30, 2009
A Three to Five Minute Daily Drill for Marriage Improvement
I'm married to a marriage counselor. You know what that means, don't you? We live in a fish bowl. What he teaches, we get (or have) to practice!
Recently, I talked him into transferring his premarital material and seminar into a Workbook. For the past month, we've been working very closely on this project--writing, editing, debating...do you get the picture? Little did I know that many of the principles in the Workbook, such as the 8 Steps to Conflict Resolution would become our closest companions during this last month!
There is a reason that my husband Roger spends so many hours each week helping couples learn better ways to communication: the odds of staying in a healthy and happy lifelong marriage are diminishing.
In a 2008 Barna Group Survey the latest statistics on marriage and divorce were revealed:
4 in 5 of us will be married at least once, and
1 in 3 will be divorced at least once.
Are there preventative measures couples can take to keep their relationships strong and fulfilling? Yes, of course! Be intentional in your communication, affection, and support of each other.
In our new book, Seriously Dating or Engaged, Roger teaches couples (before and after marriage) how to stay connected to each other with five simple actions in five minutes or less--the exercise is called the Daily 5 A's:
1. Affection--Give each other a kiss, a hug, a loving touch...
2. Affirmation--Give each other a word of thanks, admiration, or encouragement.
3. Apology--Ask, "Is there any way I hurt you today?" (This is not conflict resolution, just a "quick" amend.)
4. Ask--Ask, "Is there anything I can do for you today?" (Offer to help meet a practical need.)
5. Amen--Spiritually connect with each other by asking, "How can I pray for you?" (Pray for something specific for your partner.)
The Daily 5 A'sare short (little) statements than can change your relationship in a big way. It will happen immediately! Sparks start flying as you recall those spontaneous, quirky things that made you love (and choose) your mate!
Be encouraged,
Becky
Recently, I talked him into transferring his premarital material and seminar into a Workbook. For the past month, we've been working very closely on this project--writing, editing, debating...do you get the picture? Little did I know that many of the principles in the Workbook, such as the 8 Steps to Conflict Resolution would become our closest companions during this last month!
There is a reason that my husband Roger spends so many hours each week helping couples learn better ways to communication: the odds of staying in a healthy and happy lifelong marriage are diminishing.
In a 2008 Barna Group Survey the latest statistics on marriage and divorce were revealed:
4 in 5 of us will be married at least once, and
1 in 3 will be divorced at least once.
Are there preventative measures couples can take to keep their relationships strong and fulfilling? Yes, of course! Be intentional in your communication, affection, and support of each other.
In our new book, Seriously Dating or Engaged, Roger teaches couples (before and after marriage) how to stay connected to each other with five simple actions in five minutes or less--the exercise is called the Daily 5 A's:
1. Affection--Give each other a kiss, a hug, a loving touch...
2. Affirmation--Give each other a word of thanks, admiration, or encouragement.
3. Apology--Ask, "Is there any way I hurt you today?" (This is not conflict resolution, just a "quick" amend.)
4. Ask--Ask, "Is there anything I can do for you today?" (Offer to help meet a practical need.)
5. Amen--Spiritually connect with each other by asking, "How can I pray for you?" (Pray for something specific for your partner.)
The Daily 5 A'sare short (little) statements than can change your relationship in a big way. It will happen immediately! Sparks start flying as you recall those spontaneous, quirky things that made you love (and choose) your mate!
Be encouraged,
Becky
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Binge Drinking Baby Boomers
In the past few years, I’ve visited over twenty-five college campuses, often talking to students about binge drinking—and believe me, college students from every type of university (religious, private, state) are struggling with alcohol. (Studies show that 41% of college students are binge drinkers. One very thorough study by the Harvard School of Health College Alcohol Study is available online.)
But recently, Duke Medical Center's National Survey on Drug Use and Health was released on August 17, 2009, suggesting that Baby Boomers--especially women--were increasingly becoming binge drinkers. (What is binge drinking? Five or more drinks at a time qualify as binge drinking, and someone who has two or more drinks a day is considered an “at risk” drinker.)
In the USA Today article, professor of psychiatry, Dan Blazer, the lead researcher of the Duke study said, ""We typically think of binge drinking as something that occurs with young people such as college students, and here we have examples of older closet drinkers," Blazer says. The nationally representative study, Blazer says, also found that people don't tend to change such behavior as they get older." We may see some younger people's patterns continue and become even more problematic," he says. "You may think that you are more tolerant and your health is just as good or better than it was 20 or 30 years ago, but it's not."”
As a coach and recovered alcoholic, I talk to women of all ages—in their teens, twenties, thirties, forties, and fifties—who are stepping on the line between “at risk” and “binge” drinking. Usually, after it's too late--and some damage has been done--they get help. Why won't they admit they have a problem with alcohol sooner? Because they don’t want stop getting what it gives them. Alcohol changes the way we feel about things—it can momentarily lift us out the dumps, temporarily make us feel happy when we're sad, and very often it lies to us. But most dangerously, it can repress us our inhibitors (those built-in red flags that warn and protect us).
Honestly, I didn't need a national study to confirm that women of all ages are turning to alcohol as their drug of choice to alleviate stress, hide fear or shame, manage depression, shutdown inhibitors, and temporarily improve their moods. I have a number of friends who are either struggling or have recently gone through treatment; and they are not college students. What started out as “once-in-a-while” drinking became an everyday thing and eventually a hidden habit. Their lives—and their family’s lives—have been forever impacted.
The National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism suggest four questions can help assess if you, or someone you love, have a problem with alcohol.
1. Have you ever felt you should cut down on your drinking?
2. Have people annoyed you by criticizing your drinking?
3. Have you ever felt bad or guilty about your drinking?
4. Have you ever had a drink first thing in the morning to steady your nerves or to get rid of a hangover?
One "yes" answer suggests a possible alcohol problem. More than one "yes" answer means it is highly likely that a problem exists. If you think that you or someone you know might have an alcohol problem, it is important to see a doctor or other health care provider right away. They can help you determine if a drinking problem exists and plan the best course of action.
Whether you’re a Baby Boomer, a college student, the parent of a teenager, or the child of an alcoholic, take some time to talk with those you love about binge drinking. One little conversation can change--if not save--a life!
Be encouraged,
Becky
But recently, Duke Medical Center's National Survey on Drug Use and Health was released on August 17, 2009, suggesting that Baby Boomers--especially women--were increasingly becoming binge drinkers. (What is binge drinking? Five or more drinks at a time qualify as binge drinking, and someone who has two or more drinks a day is considered an “at risk” drinker.)
In the USA Today article, professor of psychiatry, Dan Blazer, the lead researcher of the Duke study said, ""We typically think of binge drinking as something that occurs with young people such as college students, and here we have examples of older closet drinkers," Blazer says. The nationally representative study, Blazer says, also found that people don't tend to change such behavior as they get older." We may see some younger people's patterns continue and become even more problematic," he says. "You may think that you are more tolerant and your health is just as good or better than it was 20 or 30 years ago, but it's not."”
As a coach and recovered alcoholic, I talk to women of all ages—in their teens, twenties, thirties, forties, and fifties—who are stepping on the line between “at risk” and “binge” drinking. Usually, after it's too late--and some damage has been done--they get help. Why won't they admit they have a problem with alcohol sooner? Because they don’t want stop getting what it gives them. Alcohol changes the way we feel about things—it can momentarily lift us out the dumps, temporarily make us feel happy when we're sad, and very often it lies to us. But most dangerously, it can repress us our inhibitors (those built-in red flags that warn and protect us).
Honestly, I didn't need a national study to confirm that women of all ages are turning to alcohol as their drug of choice to alleviate stress, hide fear or shame, manage depression, shutdown inhibitors, and temporarily improve their moods. I have a number of friends who are either struggling or have recently gone through treatment; and they are not college students. What started out as “once-in-a-while” drinking became an everyday thing and eventually a hidden habit. Their lives—and their family’s lives—have been forever impacted.
The National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism suggest four questions can help assess if you, or someone you love, have a problem with alcohol.
1. Have you ever felt you should cut down on your drinking?
2. Have people annoyed you by criticizing your drinking?
3. Have you ever felt bad or guilty about your drinking?
4. Have you ever had a drink first thing in the morning to steady your nerves or to get rid of a hangover?
One "yes" answer suggests a possible alcohol problem. More than one "yes" answer means it is highly likely that a problem exists. If you think that you or someone you know might have an alcohol problem, it is important to see a doctor or other health care provider right away. They can help you determine if a drinking problem exists and plan the best course of action.
Whether you’re a Baby Boomer, a college student, the parent of a teenager, or the child of an alcoholic, take some time to talk with those you love about binge drinking. One little conversation can change--if not save--a life!
Be encouraged,
Becky
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Second Chances
This week, Michael Vick, former Atlanta Falcons quarterback who lost everything after serving a two year prison sentence for running an illegal dog-fighting ring has been given a second chance. Not only has he been hired by the Philadelphia Eagles, but he's been given a strong mentor in the author of Quiet Strength and former coach, Tony Dungy, who has been assigned to guide Vick through re-entry back into work and life.
Having served jail time and along with continued and required community service, a majority of people (reporters, citizens, coaches and athletes) agree that Vick deserves an opportunity to start over.
I can honestly say that there is nothing more "life changing" than being given a second chance.
When you don't deserve people's forgiveness, when you've hurt everyone you love, when you've lost everything, changing your life seems impossible. But it's not. You may not have money or friends or family, but you have time. You have time, every single day to (1) learn something new--a foreign language, a trade, a skill, (2) to make amends with those you've hurt, (3) to come under the mentorship of a strong leader, and (4) to pray.
I'm a firm believer that big results are achievable when you make little changes--one day at a time. You get sober one day at a time. You stay married one day at a time. You can only exercise one day at a time. You get closer to the people you love one day at a time.
If you need a second chance, if you feel overwhelmed, or if you need to start over, don't wait another day. Get on your knees today and ask God to help you. I can vouch for Him; He is a God of second chances...
Be encouraged,
Becky
Having served jail time and along with continued and required community service, a majority of people (reporters, citizens, coaches and athletes) agree that Vick deserves an opportunity to start over.
I can honestly say that there is nothing more "life changing" than being given a second chance.
When you don't deserve people's forgiveness, when you've hurt everyone you love, when you've lost everything, changing your life seems impossible. But it's not. You may not have money or friends or family, but you have time. You have time, every single day to (1) learn something new--a foreign language, a trade, a skill, (2) to make amends with those you've hurt, (3) to come under the mentorship of a strong leader, and (4) to pray.
I'm a firm believer that big results are achievable when you make little changes--one day at a time. You get sober one day at a time. You stay married one day at a time. You can only exercise one day at a time. You get closer to the people you love one day at a time.
If you need a second chance, if you feel overwhelmed, or if you need to start over, don't wait another day. Get on your knees today and ask God to help you. I can vouch for Him; He is a God of second chances...
Be encouraged,
Becky
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Column One: Draw a Line in the Sand
Along with five other memorable and accomplished men, Rod Woodson, a defensive legend for the Pittsburgh Steelers was inducted into the 2009 Class of the NFL Hall of Fame this past weekend. (Click the link to view his acceptance speech.)
His story is inspiring, his football achievements are impressive and he's a really humble guy. But his comments in an interview after the ceremony were the words that prompted me to write this column. He said, “Four years ago, I quit drinking because I have young kids and I can’t ask them to do something I won’t do.” He knows, like I know, that athletes and alcohol, especially in high school and college, go hand in hand. And as an athlete, coach, or even more importantly as a parent, you possess a lot of power to influence those around you. And if you haven't noticed, this young generation needs and wants to know it is possible to effectively and happily live above the temptations and pressures of this culture.
This year I celebrated my 31st year of sobriety. One day, like Woodson, I drew a line in the sand.
And like Woodson, I became more courageous to stop doing something--that was fun and popular by the world's standards--when I realized that I had young people watching me, counting on me. They were begging for role models who would stay sober or stay married and say, “Follow me" without being afraid to be a leader who makes it to the end of the race.
If you are a coach, a teacher, a boss, or parent, one of the most powerful tools that you possess is the ability to draw a line in the sand in an area of your life where others are counting on you. If you can say, “no” to something that everyone else is doing, you'll give others strength. If you can say, “never again,” you'll give others hope that they too can do something difficult.
Little changes do turn into big results...one decision, one day, one line in the sand at a time.
Be encouraged,
Becky
His story is inspiring, his football achievements are impressive and he's a really humble guy. But his comments in an interview after the ceremony were the words that prompted me to write this column. He said, “Four years ago, I quit drinking because I have young kids and I can’t ask them to do something I won’t do.” He knows, like I know, that athletes and alcohol, especially in high school and college, go hand in hand. And as an athlete, coach, or even more importantly as a parent, you possess a lot of power to influence those around you. And if you haven't noticed, this young generation needs and wants to know it is possible to effectively and happily live above the temptations and pressures of this culture.
This year I celebrated my 31st year of sobriety. One day, like Woodson, I drew a line in the sand.
And like Woodson, I became more courageous to stop doing something--that was fun and popular by the world's standards--when I realized that I had young people watching me, counting on me. They were begging for role models who would stay sober or stay married and say, “Follow me" without being afraid to be a leader who makes it to the end of the race.
If you are a coach, a teacher, a boss, or parent, one of the most powerful tools that you possess is the ability to draw a line in the sand in an area of your life where others are counting on you. If you can say, “no” to something that everyone else is doing, you'll give others strength. If you can say, “never again,” you'll give others hope that they too can do something difficult.
Little changes do turn into big results...one decision, one day, one line in the sand at a time.
Be encouraged,
Becky
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Little Changes Big Results™
I've decided to write a weekly column called Little Changes Big Results™ starting Monday, August 10th. I'll post each Sunday night and give you a great, practical tip for improving your health, relationships, time management, and spiritual life! Start the week out with me! If you have a question or comment, please post it--everyone is welcome and I'll do my best to respond you!
Be encouraged!
Becky
Be encouraged!
Becky
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