A Three to Five Minute Daily Drill for Marriage Improvement

I'm married to a marriage counselor. You know what that means, don't you? We live in a fish bowl. What he teaches, we get (or have) to practice!

Recently, I talked him into transferring his premarital material and seminar into a Workbook. For the past month, we've been working very closely on this project--writing, editing, debating...do you get the picture? Little did I know that many of the principles in the Workbook, such as the 8 Steps to Conflict Resolution would become our closest companions during this last month!

There is a reason that my husband Roger spends so many hours each week helping couples learn better ways to communication: the odds of staying in a healthy and happy lifelong marriage are diminishing.

In a 2008 Barna Group Survey the latest statistics on marriage and divorce were revealed:

4 in 5 of us will be married at least once, and
1 in 3 will be divorced at least once.

Are there preventative measures couples can take to keep their relationships strong and fulfilling? Yes, of course! Be intentional in your communication, affection, and support of each other.

In our new book, Seriously Dating or Engaged, Roger teaches couples (before and after marriage) how to stay connected to each other with five simple actions in five minutes or less--the exercise is called the Daily 5 A's:

1. Affection--Give each other a kiss, a hug, a loving touch...
2. Affirmation--Give each other a word of thanks, admiration, or encouragement.
3. Apology--Ask, "Is there any way I hurt you today?" (This is not conflict resolution, just a "quick" amend.)
4. Ask--Ask, "Is there anything I can do for you today?" (Offer to help meet a practical need.)
5. Amen--Spiritually connect with each other by asking, "How can I pray for you?" (Pray for something specific for your partner.)

The Daily 5 A'sare short (little) statements than can change your relationship in a big way. It will happen immediately! Sparks start flying as you recall those spontaneous, quirky things that made you love (and choose) your mate!

Be encouraged,

Becky