This week, Alcoholics Anonymous' Big Book, after 70 years, is being released in its original form. Included in The Book That Started It All is founder, Bill Wilson’s hand written edits from the manuscript, making for a fascinating story of how the organization was shaped in 1939.
Alcoholism touches millions of lives.
I am the child and grandchild of alcoholics. Yet, like most teenagers, I never imagined that my hard-partying “good times” at 15-years old would eventually land me “at the bottom” by the time I was 21. But they did. In a courtroom, faced with drunk driving charges, possibly pregnant by one of two men, I could trace the demise of my life to my first drink in high school. Before “binge drinking” was popular, I drank more than anyone else—a common thread among alcoholics. Unlike most of my friends, I was never too hung over not to drink the very next day. And for years, I blacked out or passed out almost every time I drank. The signs were all there, yet I wouldn’t admit that I even had a problem, much less identify myself as an alcoholic…until I stood in front of a judge.
Because I wasn’t sentenced immediately, I had time to think about my future. But after only a few hours alone with myself—I felt trapped. I wanted out of my addiction and out of my predicaments, but I had nowhere to turn. I’d burned all my bridges—lying, deceiving, and betraying people whenever it allowed me the opportunity to get high. I considered suicide. Instead, I drove to a church. I was looking for something or someone to save me—literally. And I actually found someone. The janitor. He was newly sober. Having lost his job as a schoolteacher, the only job in town he could get was a church janitor. It was more than a coincidence.
Because of the janitor, I found hope that day. I asked and received forgiveness that day. I felt release from my shame and guilt as I began to walk through the first few 12 steps, “I can’t, God can, I’ll let Him.”
I’ve since spent over 32 years gratefully sober (as my friend likes to say). I’ve spent as many years telling my story to students and adults who struggle—it’s called the 12th Step. And almost every year near January 28th, I go to an AA meeting and get my “chip” as a symbol (and a reward) for the battle I’ve won for my family—past, present, and future—ending the legacy of alcoholism in my family with my generation.
I, for one, am extremely grateful for Bill Wilson and his friends who paved the way for the millions of us who have struggled with addiction. I’m a beneficiary of the stories and steps these men and women articulated 70 years ago, reminding us that empathy and support is often best understood and most freely given by other strugglers. And I’m genuinely impressed with the timelessness of the 12 Steps that continue to give a pathway to men and women—across the world—on how to live sober, love others and give back.
It should be no surprise that Little Changes Big Results™ is built on a similar foundation as Alcoholics Anonymous:
Once you become aware that you have a problem, you can receive courage and hope to change by admitting to God and others that you need help. And big results will come with the accumulation of little changes achieved one hour, one day at a time. Most importantly, long lasting change is sustained by accountability to others—especially to fellow strugglers who know when to lift us up, call us out, encourage us to attend a meeting, get on our knees and humble ourselves in a prayer, or make amends to those we’ve hurt.
I hope you are encouraged,
Becky
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Robotripping--a new, cheap high among students!
Today, a new trend among students is Robotripping—taking cough medicine from a parent’s medicine cabinet and getting high.
When I was growing up, we simply drank our parents’ liquor that, similarly, was neither hidden nor locked up. We knew where to find it and how to replace the amount we took with water.
Yes, kids have always been doing risky and dangerous things, but if you're a parent today, you can protect your kids and their friends by making three little changes that will have big results:
(1) Discuss then Role Play: Talk about the daily news reports that discuss drugs and alcohol. Don’t assume your kids are oblivious to these stories. Instead consider each scenario a teaching opportunity. For example, this week, a young starlet failed another drug test after only a few weeks out of jail and rehab. Discuss the details. Ask simple questions, such as, “Do you know anyone who does this stuff?” Don’t accuse, just discuss. Then “role play” with your kids: What would you say if you were asked to try a substance or do something illegal? What would you do or whom would you call if your friends weren’t ready to leave a party and you didn’t have a ride home?
Additionally, talk about your past. You don’t have to give specific details as much as identify with the pressure of being in an uncomfortable or scary situation or the importance of friends who have similar values. Don’t underestimate the importance of your concern and interest in your kids’ culture.
(2) Be a Role Model: As a Life Coach and former athletic coach, I have consistently raised the bar for my own life so that I am presenting the possibility to students that you can be fun and sober and live by your convictions, even if your peers or coworkers or family members do not hold those same values.
Just last week, I spoke for my son’s non-profit organization that serves the Latino community in our county. As I told the students and their parents about my own struggle with alcohol as a teenager, my consecutive years of sobriety, and how difficult it was to be a sober parent and raise a child in a sex-crazed, binge-drinking culture, my son began to wipe the tears streaming down his cheeks. His tears reminded me just how difficult it was for both of us during his high school years—to have a parent not really fit in nor align herself with the partying culture of society. There was a cost for both of us. Parents and kids must know that there will be lonely times when you determine to live differently than the cultural norms.
(3) Clean the House: This little change is pretty simple. In the recovery world, when you get sober, you clean—and it starts in the home. Based on recent reports, household meds are today’s drug-of-choice for kids. Do you have medicines in your cabinets that others can freely access--everything from prescription drugs to over-the-counter medicines? Or do you have a case of beer or wine in your garage? Would you even notice if a bottle or two were missing? Remember, it may not be your kids who want what to experiment with what you have in your house—their friends might be the savvy and sneaky ones.
Whether or not you have kids of your own, this young generation is looking for caring adults who will take an interest in them by offering them wise advice, a role model to follow, and a safe house in which to live or visit.
Be encouraged,
Becky
When I was growing up, we simply drank our parents’ liquor that, similarly, was neither hidden nor locked up. We knew where to find it and how to replace the amount we took with water.
Yes, kids have always been doing risky and dangerous things, but if you're a parent today, you can protect your kids and their friends by making three little changes that will have big results:
(1) Discuss then Role Play: Talk about the daily news reports that discuss drugs and alcohol. Don’t assume your kids are oblivious to these stories. Instead consider each scenario a teaching opportunity. For example, this week, a young starlet failed another drug test after only a few weeks out of jail and rehab. Discuss the details. Ask simple questions, such as, “Do you know anyone who does this stuff?” Don’t accuse, just discuss. Then “role play” with your kids: What would you say if you were asked to try a substance or do something illegal? What would you do or whom would you call if your friends weren’t ready to leave a party and you didn’t have a ride home?
Additionally, talk about your past. You don’t have to give specific details as much as identify with the pressure of being in an uncomfortable or scary situation or the importance of friends who have similar values. Don’t underestimate the importance of your concern and interest in your kids’ culture.
(2) Be a Role Model: As a Life Coach and former athletic coach, I have consistently raised the bar for my own life so that I am presenting the possibility to students that you can be fun and sober and live by your convictions, even if your peers or coworkers or family members do not hold those same values.
Just last week, I spoke for my son’s non-profit organization that serves the Latino community in our county. As I told the students and their parents about my own struggle with alcohol as a teenager, my consecutive years of sobriety, and how difficult it was to be a sober parent and raise a child in a sex-crazed, binge-drinking culture, my son began to wipe the tears streaming down his cheeks. His tears reminded me just how difficult it was for both of us during his high school years—to have a parent not really fit in nor align herself with the partying culture of society. There was a cost for both of us. Parents and kids must know that there will be lonely times when you determine to live differently than the cultural norms.
(3) Clean the House: This little change is pretty simple. In the recovery world, when you get sober, you clean—and it starts in the home. Based on recent reports, household meds are today’s drug-of-choice for kids. Do you have medicines in your cabinets that others can freely access--everything from prescription drugs to over-the-counter medicines? Or do you have a case of beer or wine in your garage? Would you even notice if a bottle or two were missing? Remember, it may not be your kids who want what to experiment with what you have in your house—their friends might be the savvy and sneaky ones.
Whether or not you have kids of your own, this young generation is looking for caring adults who will take an interest in them by offering them wise advice, a role model to follow, and a safe house in which to live or visit.
Be encouraged,
Becky
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Find LCBR on YouTube!
Because research shows that it takes AT LEAST 60 Days to change a habit, I'm committed to helping you change your life in 60 seconds, 60 minutes, and in 60 days!
My latest one-on-one "LIttle Changes Big Results" Life Coaching package is called STARTING OVER. It is a 60 day series that will be designed with you and specifically for you to reach your goals. If you want more information, click here.
If you want to join my upcoming LCBR Online Coaching Group, we begin on October 1st. We are going to change our lives in 60 minutes a day--a practice I have followed myself for over 25 years! Our theme? Play, Plan, Pray! Click here for more information or to register.
And finally, I am adding a regular feature to the Little Changes Big Results weekly blog--a weekly VLOG (video log) on the Little Changes Big Results TV channel! Whether I'm in California or on the road, I'll be posting a "little change" for you to make each week that will add up to "big results" in every area of your life. This week--clear the clutter and conquer the chaos by timing your least favorite tasks. Click here and visit the LCBR TV page at LittleChangesBigResults.TV this week, and every week, for your free, weekly LCBR TV TIP!
I'd love your feedback AND if you ask me a question at the new home of LCBR.TV I will be sure to answer you by email.
Be encouraged,
Becky
My latest one-on-one "LIttle Changes Big Results" Life Coaching package is called STARTING OVER. It is a 60 day series that will be designed with you and specifically for you to reach your goals. If you want more information, click here.
If you want to join my upcoming LCBR Online Coaching Group, we begin on October 1st. We are going to change our lives in 60 minutes a day--a practice I have followed myself for over 25 years! Our theme? Play, Plan, Pray! Click here for more information or to register.
And finally, I am adding a regular feature to the Little Changes Big Results weekly blog--a weekly VLOG (video log) on the Little Changes Big Results TV channel! Whether I'm in California or on the road, I'll be posting a "little change" for you to make each week that will add up to "big results" in every area of your life. This week--clear the clutter and conquer the chaos by timing your least favorite tasks. Click here and visit the LCBR TV page at LittleChangesBigResults.TV this week, and every week, for your free, weekly LCBR TV TIP!
I'd love your feedback AND if you ask me a question at the new home of LCBR.TV I will be sure to answer you by email.
Be encouraged,
Becky
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Who's the Teach?
Most of us get hooked on one or more “reality” TV shows each season. Whether we are fascinated by clothing design, food preparation, competitive games, or weight loss, a huge variety of content is available to the average TV viewer. But not very often is there a show that inspires us to give back to society, especially to today’s young generation.
I've come across such a show, starting in October that I think will do just that!
At 59 years old, Tony Danza, TV and Broadway actor, is also a graduate of University of Dubuque (Iowa) in History Education. Though he never taught school after graduating from college, he has taken on the challenge now—teaching at the largest high school in Philadelphia—10th grade English! The A&E Network will be airing his journey—the tears, the challenges, the inspirational stories this fall.
Assigning work that included poetry contests, short stories, and relatable life lessons from classic books, Danza, in this week's edition of Parade Magazine, shared that he was the one who was most changed by the students he grew to love saying, “You have to be a father, a mother, a social worker, a psychiatrist. The kids need to know someone cares.”
His goal? To inspire other adults—young or old—to be teachers.
When he contemplated the impact that one person, one teacher has on a classroom or campus or community, rather than being discouraged, he realized that changing ONE life is incredibly important to that ONE child.
You don’t have to be a college-educated teacher to teach. You can make a little change in the way you spend your free time and see a big result in someone else’s life!
In every community, there are organizations, ranging from the Boys and Girls Club of America to local community or church tutoring programs that are always looking for adult volunteers. One caring adult can become a teacher, mentor, or foster grandparent to help one student read more proficiently, have someone special to talk with about their struggles, or just provide rides to after-school activities. In fact, some school districts offer emergency credentialing for adults who are willing to teach specific subjects in which they have expertise.
Take time—this week—to research what your local community needs from you. Become a volunteer for special needs children, disadvantaged students, or go big and return to school in some capacity. This is not just a good idea. This is a challenge!
Be encouraged,
Becky
I've come across such a show, starting in October that I think will do just that!
At 59 years old, Tony Danza, TV and Broadway actor, is also a graduate of University of Dubuque (Iowa) in History Education. Though he never taught school after graduating from college, he has taken on the challenge now—teaching at the largest high school in Philadelphia—10th grade English! The A&E Network will be airing his journey—the tears, the challenges, the inspirational stories this fall.
Assigning work that included poetry contests, short stories, and relatable life lessons from classic books, Danza, in this week's edition of Parade Magazine, shared that he was the one who was most changed by the students he grew to love saying, “You have to be a father, a mother, a social worker, a psychiatrist. The kids need to know someone cares.”
His goal? To inspire other adults—young or old—to be teachers.
When he contemplated the impact that one person, one teacher has on a classroom or campus or community, rather than being discouraged, he realized that changing ONE life is incredibly important to that ONE child.
You don’t have to be a college-educated teacher to teach. You can make a little change in the way you spend your free time and see a big result in someone else’s life!
In every community, there are organizations, ranging from the Boys and Girls Club of America to local community or church tutoring programs that are always looking for adult volunteers. One caring adult can become a teacher, mentor, or foster grandparent to help one student read more proficiently, have someone special to talk with about their struggles, or just provide rides to after-school activities. In fact, some school districts offer emergency credentialing for adults who are willing to teach specific subjects in which they have expertise.
Take time—this week—to research what your local community needs from you. Become a volunteer for special needs children, disadvantaged students, or go big and return to school in some capacity. This is not just a good idea. This is a challenge!
Be encouraged,
Becky
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Little Changes takes a vacation!
For the first time in over 52 weeks, I am taking a vacation from writing! I encourage you to review any or all of the previous posts that were written each week to capture the pulse of culture. Please check back next week for the beginning of my second year of the "Little Changes Big Results" blog. I also want to invite you to visit me at Little Changes Big Results TV for regular video posts, coaching packages, and more!
Be encouraged,
Becky
Be encouraged,
Becky
Sunday, August 22, 2010
An Amazing Last Act by Cubs Coach...
Chicago Cubs coach, Lou Piniella, unexpectedly retired today—after decades in baseball. In an emotional departure from Major League Baseball, he gave his team an abrupt notice that he would be leaving his post—and not because of controversy or contract disputes. Piniella’s mother, who lives in Florida, has been very ill. After missing four days of coaching this month and already contemplating an end-of-season retirement, Lou felt it was not helpful to the team or his family to wait any longer, saying, "My mom needs me home and that's where I'm going."
Not considered by most sports writers or fans as a sensitive leader or compassionate coach, Piniella was more often recognized as a competitive and hotheaded MLB manager because of his crazy antics and irate outbursts from the dugout.
Piniella's departure caught my attention for this reason: rarely does anyone leave a high profile position, much less resign from a successful and public career to return home to take care of an ailing parent, child or spouse.
Lou’s raw emotion today, his strong commitment to family, as well as the obvious love he has for his mother is perhaps one of the finest moments of his career.
Whether you are a coach, a parent, a son or a daughter, sibling or spouse, you are a leader whose actions speak louder than words. Consider today what little changes you might make in your work life that will impact your family life. I am confident you will not only see big results, but you leave a lasting legacy.
Be encouraged,
Becky
Not considered by most sports writers or fans as a sensitive leader or compassionate coach, Piniella was more often recognized as a competitive and hotheaded MLB manager because of his crazy antics and irate outbursts from the dugout.
Piniella's departure caught my attention for this reason: rarely does anyone leave a high profile position, much less resign from a successful and public career to return home to take care of an ailing parent, child or spouse.
Lou’s raw emotion today, his strong commitment to family, as well as the obvious love he has for his mother is perhaps one of the finest moments of his career.
Whether you are a coach, a parent, a son or a daughter, sibling or spouse, you are a leader whose actions speak louder than words. Consider today what little changes you might make in your work life that will impact your family life. I am confident you will not only see big results, but you leave a lasting legacy.
Be encouraged,
Becky
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Eat, Love, Pray
I’ve not read the best-selling book nor seen the movie, Eat Love Pray, but the title alone has the potential to create a template for a short, personal inventory of your physical, emotional, or spiritual health at any given moment.
We have to EAT to exist. Most of us make daily food choices that are either driven by impulse and convenience or meticulously calculated and planned, (or some erratic combination of both). Yet, over the past decade the increased awareness of the detrimental impact that high fat or extra-sugary foods or drinks can have on our bodies has been enough to force the average person to reconsider what and why they EAT. What (or how much) we eat is not the only consideration. Many of us eat for comfort, to relieve stress, or to drown our sorrows. Yet with the increase of obesity, high blood pressure, and diabetes impacting all age groups, more of us are realizing that we must become healthy, sensible, self-controlled eaters. We understand that limitless, indulgence isn’t good for us, thus eating healthy is not an option if you want to live longer. We know we must change, but how?
To truly enjoy our lives, we have to LOVE others and ourselves. The majority of mental health experts suggest that the quality of love we received (or missed out on) in childhood is a great indicator of how we will love as adults. How we were loved as children also determines how we perceive or feel about ourselves as adults. If we were fortunate to have been given great love as children, we will find it easier to experience loving relationships as adults. But love is a decision, as much as it is an emotion. To love is to forgive, give, wait on, encourage, and believe in others. Anyone can decide to love.
To PRAY is to communicate with heaven. The online dictionary defines prayer as “speaking to God, a deity, or a saint, for example, in order to give thanks, express regret, or ask for help.” Merriam’s Dictionary similarly describes prayer as “addressing God with adoration, confession, supplication or thanksgiving.” Why is it important talk to God? There are a variety of reasons. A soldier who is in battle would say that talking to God gives him peace. A mother of a seriously ill child pleads with God for supernatural intervention, knowing that neither money nor medicine guarantees health. Prayer ranges from pleading to praising, from asking to thanking; from questions posed to answers received. To pray is to look up, to see life from an eternal—rather than temporal—perspective. Prayer releases hope. And we all need hope to get through the tough times.
Today…
(1) Consider what little changes you can make to what, why, and when you EAT in order to improve your health—less fat, less sugar, smaller portions, or fewer calories per day?
(2) Decide to make little changes in the way you LOVE others and yourself—eliminate a hurtful word from your vocabulary, hug more often, apologize more quickly, or forgive more easily?
(3) What little changes can you make in the way you PRAY? Try kneeling before you get into bed, journaling your two-way conversations with God, or consider visiting a monastery for a silent retreat.
I’m convinced that little changes will ultimately lead to big results in our lives.
Why not EAT right, LOVE generously, and PRAY passionately one day at a time?
Be encouraged,
Becky
We have to EAT to exist. Most of us make daily food choices that are either driven by impulse and convenience or meticulously calculated and planned, (or some erratic combination of both). Yet, over the past decade the increased awareness of the detrimental impact that high fat or extra-sugary foods or drinks can have on our bodies has been enough to force the average person to reconsider what and why they EAT. What (or how much) we eat is not the only consideration. Many of us eat for comfort, to relieve stress, or to drown our sorrows. Yet with the increase of obesity, high blood pressure, and diabetes impacting all age groups, more of us are realizing that we must become healthy, sensible, self-controlled eaters. We understand that limitless, indulgence isn’t good for us, thus eating healthy is not an option if you want to live longer. We know we must change, but how?
To truly enjoy our lives, we have to LOVE others and ourselves. The majority of mental health experts suggest that the quality of love we received (or missed out on) in childhood is a great indicator of how we will love as adults. How we were loved as children also determines how we perceive or feel about ourselves as adults. If we were fortunate to have been given great love as children, we will find it easier to experience loving relationships as adults. But love is a decision, as much as it is an emotion. To love is to forgive, give, wait on, encourage, and believe in others. Anyone can decide to love.
To PRAY is to communicate with heaven. The online dictionary defines prayer as “speaking to God, a deity, or a saint, for example, in order to give thanks, express regret, or ask for help.” Merriam’s Dictionary similarly describes prayer as “addressing God with adoration, confession, supplication or thanksgiving.” Why is it important talk to God? There are a variety of reasons. A soldier who is in battle would say that talking to God gives him peace. A mother of a seriously ill child pleads with God for supernatural intervention, knowing that neither money nor medicine guarantees health. Prayer ranges from pleading to praising, from asking to thanking; from questions posed to answers received. To pray is to look up, to see life from an eternal—rather than temporal—perspective. Prayer releases hope. And we all need hope to get through the tough times.
Today…
(1) Consider what little changes you can make to what, why, and when you EAT in order to improve your health—less fat, less sugar, smaller portions, or fewer calories per day?
(2) Decide to make little changes in the way you LOVE others and yourself—eliminate a hurtful word from your vocabulary, hug more often, apologize more quickly, or forgive more easily?
(3) What little changes can you make in the way you PRAY? Try kneeling before you get into bed, journaling your two-way conversations with God, or consider visiting a monastery for a silent retreat.
I’m convinced that little changes will ultimately lead to big results in our lives.
Why not EAT right, LOVE generously, and PRAY passionately one day at a time?
Be encouraged,
Becky
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