Every few months, I like to remind you that you can change every area of your life--today! You don't have to wait a month or a year to see immediate and big results. You just have to be willing to make little changes--like the ones I've suggested below:
PHYSICALLY: The statistics don’t lie. We are a nation that is fat…and getting fatter. Most likely, you are all in a relationship with someone who is obese or has diabetes (unless of course, you suffer from it yourself).
Doctors admit that the first and best course of action to take in order to reverse obesity and diabetes is to lose just a LITTLE weight. Studies repeatedly conclude that weight loss, even a little, can immediately reduce the various health risks attached to extra, unwanted pounds.
Here's one little change that will have a big result: Eliminate soda (or other sugary drinks) from your diet for one month. I call it SODABRIETY. If you eliminate all soda (note: there are 250 calories per 12 ounce can x 2 cans a day = about 500 calories), you have the potential to lose one pound (3500 calories) a week! Yes, ONE POUND A WEEK, just by eliminating soda! (Just imagine what might happen if you add a little exercise and cut back on fried or fatty foods?)
Are you in? SODABRIETY for one month?
EMOTIONALLY: I live with a counselor. He works primarily with Seriously Dating, Pre-Married, and Married Couples. That means we have to practice what he (just kidding) preaches!
Is there one little change you can make today that will immediately improve your most important relationship and allow you to experience a big result? Yes! Develop an anger diffusing statement. All couples disagree. Anger is inevitable. So, since you know it’s coming—but because you don’t know when—if you have an agreed upon “statement” to use when either of you feels out-of-control, it can bring immediate calm and reduce the risk of impulsively hurting someone you love. Try it. Brainstorm just one phrase that would signal a "time-out" to your partner. What's our statement? When I start to bug Roger, he says, “Fiesty.” When he says it, he makes me laugh. That's a big result! Rather than end up in a blow up, he is signaling to me that he is getting frustrated and doesn’t want to get angry. We just "back off" the discussion for a few minutes and start over when calm. Try it!
(Roger is hosting two couples’ events in Costa Mesa, Ca. To register for the 5 Week Seriously Dating or Engaged Workshop beginning January 22, 2011, call 714.384.0914 or email eabdelatif@rockharbor.org and a Compelling Marriage Conference on February 11-12.)
SPIRITUALLY: Almost twenty-seven years ago, I needed help to grow spiritually. Spiritual growth, for me, isn’t mystical. It’s practical. I made one little change in my daily routine in February of 1984 and I believe it has impacted every area of my life! I committed to reading a 365-Day Bible, from cover to cover, in just 15 minutes a day, one day at a time. Have I seen a big result? I have stayed married for over 3 decades. I’ve raised a great son who desires to make a difference in this world. And I’ve fulfilled my passions of becoming an author, speaker, and fitness instructor. I'd say that's big! What do you think; worth a try?
MENTALLY: Most everyone feels the pressure to get more organized, accomplish more, earn more money, feel less stressed, lose weight, or get out of debt. But none of those things can happen overnight. They happen over time—one day at a time. In my life coaching practice, I encourage my coach-ees to spend at least 10 minutes a day planning: 4 minutes when you get up to look at the day’s “to-do’s”, 2 minutes around noon time to make any adjustments, and 4 minutes at day’s end to review the day and transfer (to tomorrow) any unfinished business. W. Clement Stone said, “If you fail to plan you plan to fail.” Give yourself the gift of daily planning: 10 minutes with your calendar and to-do list. What’s the big result? Peace and productivity! Who doesn’t want that?
Be encouraged to make 4 little changes in 2011 and get the big results of peace, productivity, passion, and purpose.
Becky
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
A Not-So-Fun but very relevant topic: Mental Illness
If you have delved into the story of the senseless shooting at a local grocery store in Tucson, Arizona, this past weekend, it becomes quickly apparent that the young man, who is the alleged shooter, had recently been exhibiting mental instability.
Because this column is dedicated to helping people change their lives, I feel that it is an appropriate time—especially in light of the tragedy—to ask if you would be able to identify and respond to people in your life who exhibit mental health problems?
In my own work with students and families, it is becoming more common to hear of teens and twenties who exhibit unexplained behavior, self-medicate with illegal or prescription drugs, or leave school or home for months at a time without making contact with their families.
As more and more young men and women—especially college aged—are struggling with mental illness, very often, their behavior is ignored or misunderstood by those closest to them.
The Mental Health America website reports that, “An estimated 54 million Americans suffer from some form of mental disorder in a given year,” suggesting that most families are not prepared to deal will mental illness.
On the very informative MHA website, they include suggestions for the caregivers and family members who are closest to those struggling, as well as listing warning signs and symptoms of young children (hyperactivity and poor grades), adolescents (prolonged negative mood and defiance of authority) or adults (confused thinking, excessive fears, and social withdrawal). Most helpful are the complete lists of advocacy networks and educational resources supportive of a wide range of disorders.
If someone you love is struggling with mental illness, it’s important to get ahead of a situation versus ignore it, especially knowing your available options for seeking care or even hospitalization.
If we, as a larger community, can make one little change that will have a big result it would be to become compassionate (rather than judgmental) listeners to parents, teachers, or students who are facing mental illness. So often, the families of the struggler feel ashamed to talk about their loved one. They feel judged or misunderstood. If you are willing to listen, help research, and acknowledge the illness as treatable, rather than condemn it, the family will be less likely to hide it and more willing to get help.
Be encouraged (and say your prayers for the families impacted by this tragedy),
Becky
Because this column is dedicated to helping people change their lives, I feel that it is an appropriate time—especially in light of the tragedy—to ask if you would be able to identify and respond to people in your life who exhibit mental health problems?
In my own work with students and families, it is becoming more common to hear of teens and twenties who exhibit unexplained behavior, self-medicate with illegal or prescription drugs, or leave school or home for months at a time without making contact with their families.
As more and more young men and women—especially college aged—are struggling with mental illness, very often, their behavior is ignored or misunderstood by those closest to them.
The Mental Health America website reports that, “An estimated 54 million Americans suffer from some form of mental disorder in a given year,” suggesting that most families are not prepared to deal will mental illness.
On the very informative MHA website, they include suggestions for the caregivers and family members who are closest to those struggling, as well as listing warning signs and symptoms of young children (hyperactivity and poor grades), adolescents (prolonged negative mood and defiance of authority) or adults (confused thinking, excessive fears, and social withdrawal). Most helpful are the complete lists of advocacy networks and educational resources supportive of a wide range of disorders.
If someone you love is struggling with mental illness, it’s important to get ahead of a situation versus ignore it, especially knowing your available options for seeking care or even hospitalization.
If we, as a larger community, can make one little change that will have a big result it would be to become compassionate (rather than judgmental) listeners to parents, teachers, or students who are facing mental illness. So often, the families of the struggler feel ashamed to talk about their loved one. They feel judged or misunderstood. If you are willing to listen, help research, and acknowledge the illness as treatable, rather than condemn it, the family will be less likely to hide it and more willing to get help.
Be encouraged (and say your prayers for the families impacted by this tragedy),
Becky
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Miss Dr. Laura? Call me on Tuesday, January 4th!
Want to chat?
I'm filling in--as a guest host on radio--for a friend, Rich Buhler who is the host of Talk from the Heart.
No matter where you live, you can listen to me "live" online or by tuning in on Tuesday, January 4th between 3-5 pm PST on KBRT 740 AM if you live in Southern California.
Topic? How to make Little Changes and see BIG results.
Want to listen online? Visit www.kbrt740.com AND call me with your questions.
The toll free call-in number is 800.227.5278.
Talk to you then!
Becky
I'm filling in--as a guest host on radio--for a friend, Rich Buhler who is the host of Talk from the Heart.
No matter where you live, you can listen to me "live" online or by tuning in on Tuesday, January 4th between 3-5 pm PST on KBRT 740 AM if you live in Southern California.
Topic? How to make Little Changes and see BIG results.
Want to listen online? Visit www.kbrt740.com AND call me with your questions.
The toll free call-in number is 800.227.5278.
Talk to you then!
Becky
Sunday, December 26, 2010
True Change Just Doesn't Happen
As the New Year approaches, I'd like to expose three of the more common "Rez Busters" before you make a New Year's Resolution!
Buster #1: Too Long – After two weeks or even two days, many of us give up on a goal as soon as we realize that our goal will take more time than we have planned for achieving it. It happens the moment we become discouraged, or impatient, or quickly bored with our new (usually less fun) routine. The best antidote for this Rez Buster is to have an accountability partner. Whether a coach or a friend, we need someone (visible, physical, and friendly) to remind us (a) that we REALLY wanted to achieve it and (b) that’s it’s worth the effort to keep on “keeping on.”
Buster #2: Too Busy - Initially, most of us have great intentions and true passion to change, but we tend to be unrealistic with the limited number of hours in our day/week. If you start something new and you are already a busy person (overworked, overwhelmed, or overcommitted), you will need to eliminate something currently in your schedule to make room for the new routine. To avoid this Rez Buster--whether you want to take a class, join a gym, or eat healthy—you will have to plan ahead to grocery shop, prepare meals, add “to-and-from” drive time to your day, or set the alarm to get up earlier or go to bed earlier than in the past.
Buster #3: Too Hard – We’re all susceptible to quitting when something gets too hard. The problem with fatigue is that it is convincing. We DO feel tired, and sore, and weak. And that is normal. My husband is a marriage counselor who reminds couples when they complain to him, saying, “Marriage shouldn’t be this hard,” that healthy, successful relationships DO take work, they ARE hard at times, and that it’s natural to feel that way! To overcome this Rez Buster, you need to talk to and hang out with people who have achieved and sustained the goal you want to achieve. For example, at AA meetings, those of us with years of sobriety are of great encouragement to those who are just beginning. We are living proof that hard work is both required, possible, and worth it when pursuing a difficult goal.
Having been married and sober for almost thirty-three years, I know that accountability, planning, and encouragement are the keys to turning “consecutive days” into decades of consistency. So before you set your goals (which I hope you to do), make your resolutions with eyes wide open, and remember, that one day at time is the best “little change” you can make if you want to see a big result!
Be encouraged and Happy New Year,
Becky
Buster #1: Too Long – After two weeks or even two days, many of us give up on a goal as soon as we realize that our goal will take more time than we have planned for achieving it. It happens the moment we become discouraged, or impatient, or quickly bored with our new (usually less fun) routine. The best antidote for this Rez Buster is to have an accountability partner. Whether a coach or a friend, we need someone (visible, physical, and friendly) to remind us (a) that we REALLY wanted to achieve it and (b) that’s it’s worth the effort to keep on “keeping on.”
Buster #2: Too Busy - Initially, most of us have great intentions and true passion to change, but we tend to be unrealistic with the limited number of hours in our day/week. If you start something new and you are already a busy person (overworked, overwhelmed, or overcommitted), you will need to eliminate something currently in your schedule to make room for the new routine. To avoid this Rez Buster--whether you want to take a class, join a gym, or eat healthy—you will have to plan ahead to grocery shop, prepare meals, add “to-and-from” drive time to your day, or set the alarm to get up earlier or go to bed earlier than in the past.
Buster #3: Too Hard – We’re all susceptible to quitting when something gets too hard. The problem with fatigue is that it is convincing. We DO feel tired, and sore, and weak. And that is normal. My husband is a marriage counselor who reminds couples when they complain to him, saying, “Marriage shouldn’t be this hard,” that healthy, successful relationships DO take work, they ARE hard at times, and that it’s natural to feel that way! To overcome this Rez Buster, you need to talk to and hang out with people who have achieved and sustained the goal you want to achieve. For example, at AA meetings, those of us with years of sobriety are of great encouragement to those who are just beginning. We are living proof that hard work is both required, possible, and worth it when pursuing a difficult goal.
Having been married and sober for almost thirty-three years, I know that accountability, planning, and encouragement are the keys to turning “consecutive days” into decades of consistency. So before you set your goals (which I hope you to do), make your resolutions with eyes wide open, and remember, that one day at time is the best “little change” you can make if you want to see a big result!
Be encouraged and Happy New Year,
Becky
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Can you imagine not having legs?
Just try to imagine being a child who is unable to walk or play with other children.
Just try to imagine being a mother who is unable to help your severely crippled child.
Just try to imagine being a person who has been crippled since childhood and is unable to leave home because you cannot walk.
You don't have to imagine it; you can see it right now in a short, 3 minute YouTube video that reveals the reality of such an unimaginable life.
In the video you'll watch stories of people who cannot walk. They will bring tears to your eyes and hurt to your heart. More importantly, my hope is that it will compel you to give (as it did me) a small donation to an organization that gives mobility, freedom, and joy to the most impoverished people in the world. $59.20 produces, ships and delivers a unique wheelchair to all parts of the world—and even more money can help an entire region! My friend, Mike, works for this organization that meets the needs of such people. It is called Free Wheelchair Mission. (Mike has no idea that I’m writing about him or FWM today.)
Will you join me this Christmas season in giving a gift to someone you’ll never meet while on earth (perhaps in heaven), BUT whose life will be POWERFULLY changed on earth because of your gift? Simply click here for more information or donate one wheelchair—I did it this morning; it was REALLY easy. Maybe you can share some of your extra Christmas cash, return a gift that you'll never use and donate the cash to FWM, use part of a gift card or write and mail a check in memory of someone you love?
Christmas—for my family—is the season in which we celebrate the gift that God gave to the earth two thousand years ago--Jesus. Because we have a God who loves us so much, so unconditionally, so personally, we are compelled to give in the same way.
Will you give a wheelchair—which will take a little change out of your bank account (about $59.20 worth of change), yet have a big result in one man, woman, boy or girl's life?
Let me know if you GIVE—let’s see how many wheelchair donations one blog can inspire in the next week—okay? FYI: Though MANY of you post on my facebook account, if you and your family give a wheelchair, please make a comment here. Okay? By the way, I don’t receive any kickback of any sort if you give—Mike doesn’t even know I’m doing this! I’d love to think that LCBR caused at least 10 wheelchairs to be donated!! Yes?
Merry Christmas and be encouraged,
Becky
Just try to imagine being a mother who is unable to help your severely crippled child.
Just try to imagine being a person who has been crippled since childhood and is unable to leave home because you cannot walk.
You don't have to imagine it; you can see it right now in a short, 3 minute YouTube video that reveals the reality of such an unimaginable life.
In the video you'll watch stories of people who cannot walk. They will bring tears to your eyes and hurt to your heart. More importantly, my hope is that it will compel you to give (as it did me) a small donation to an organization that gives mobility, freedom, and joy to the most impoverished people in the world. $59.20 produces, ships and delivers a unique wheelchair to all parts of the world—and even more money can help an entire region! My friend, Mike, works for this organization that meets the needs of such people. It is called Free Wheelchair Mission. (Mike has no idea that I’m writing about him or FWM today.)
Will you join me this Christmas season in giving a gift to someone you’ll never meet while on earth (perhaps in heaven), BUT whose life will be POWERFULLY changed on earth because of your gift? Simply click here for more information or donate one wheelchair—I did it this morning; it was REALLY easy. Maybe you can share some of your extra Christmas cash, return a gift that you'll never use and donate the cash to FWM, use part of a gift card or write and mail a check in memory of someone you love?
Christmas—for my family—is the season in which we celebrate the gift that God gave to the earth two thousand years ago--Jesus. Because we have a God who loves us so much, so unconditionally, so personally, we are compelled to give in the same way.
Will you give a wheelchair—which will take a little change out of your bank account (about $59.20 worth of change), yet have a big result in one man, woman, boy or girl's life?
Let me know if you GIVE—let’s see how many wheelchair donations one blog can inspire in the next week—okay? FYI: Though MANY of you post on my facebook account, if you and your family give a wheelchair, please make a comment here. Okay? By the way, I don’t receive any kickback of any sort if you give—Mike doesn’t even know I’m doing this! I’d love to think that LCBR caused at least 10 wheelchairs to be donated!! Yes?
Merry Christmas and be encouraged,
Becky
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Dieting Makes Mice and Men Miserable!
Because coaching weight loss is a big part of what I do on a weekly basis, I was very intrigued by the recent research published by Tracy Bale, PhD and his team from the University of Pennsylvania’s School of Veterinary Medicine. They discovered that diets (or food depravation) not only cause depression, but weight gain--in mice! Their findings not only make sense to scientists--and their mice--but to anyone who has ever been on a diet.
Purposely, before the researchers put laboratory mice on a diet, they let them eat whatever they wanted for a specific amount of time. Not a surprise, the mice--given unlimited access to food--overate. (Sound familiar?) When the mice were put on a strict diet of fewer, controlled calories, they became fatigued, disinterested, and lacked motivation (you won’t believe how they tested this…). After the mice were taken off the diet, they were allowed to eat anything they wanted. Once again, they overate uncontrollably, quickly packing on more weight then before they went on a diet!
Here is what the researchers concluded:
1. Dieting makes both mice and men miserable.
By testing the blood of the mice, Bayle also found that several genes important in regulating stress and eating had changed. Previous research shows that experiences can alter the form and structure of DNA, an effect known as epigenetics. Even after the mice were fed back to their normal weights, the epigenetic changes remained. It's as if they were mice on the verge of a nervous breakdown and their way to deal was to keep on binging long after the food restriction was lifted.
"Evolution developed the brain to rapidly respond to a reduction in calories as well as change its programming for the future," Bale explained. "If you were in a famine and came across something calorically dense, your brain will tell you to eat as much as possible and pack on the calories and pounds because there could be another famine coming." To lose weight, many of us could benefit from reverse engineering this phenomenon out of the brain. Bale speculates this could be done by adding a stress reduction component to every diet.
2. Controlling stress helps a person retain weight loss.
"Because stress drives the brain pathways that seek out reward, most people seek that reward from high-calorie food. You need to find non-caloric stress releases, like yoga or exercise, to deal with it instead," Bale said, adding that preliminary investigative evidence proving yoga and meditation lead to weight loss comes as no surprise to her. A 2009 study by Australian researchers revealed that “those on low-fat diets maintained an increase in positive mood throughout the year.”
In the 2009 Australian study, “participants met with a dietician twice a month to help them stay on track and researchers assessed participants' feelings of depression, anxiety, anger, and fatigue before the diet began, after eight weeks of dieting, 24 weeks, and at the end of the year. Though participants consumed the same amount of calories and lost the same amount of weight -- 30 pounds on average -- only those on the low-fat diet maintained an increase in positive mood throughout the year. Dr. Keith Ayoob, nutritionist and associate professor at Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York said, 'When a diet is [very] low in carbs, it can start to wear you down.'"
3. Controlling portions is the real secret to weight loss.
It may also be worth noting that when scientists like Bale want their furry subjects to slim down, they don't slip hoodia in their water, feed them exclusively grapefruit, or ask them to subsist on baby food. They simply cut back their portion sizes. Funny enough, it always seemed to work. Of course, that's not the point of this study and clearly, a mouse is not a person any more than a laboratory is a fast food joint. But besides getting diet stress under control, eating less is a good take home message for anyone who is looking for the real secret to losing weight.
As we approach both the holiday season of unlimited food festivities and the guilt and goals that follow with New Year "diet resolutions," I'd like to suggest making just a few little changes in your lifestyle, in order to see big results in your health.
1. Embrace a food plan that revolves around portion and carbohydrate control, as well as lower-fat foods.
2. Enlist an accountability partner (friend, coach, counselor, mentor) to help you process your emotions while losing weight.
3. Engage in a body and mind exercise program that includes stretching and burning and breathing and building...
Over the next few days and weeks, consider HOW you can make these "little changes" happen. If I can help you, don't hesitate to ask a question or join one of my groups in 2011. For more information, visit LittleChangesBigResults.TV.
Be encouraged,
Becky
Purposely, before the researchers put laboratory mice on a diet, they let them eat whatever they wanted for a specific amount of time. Not a surprise, the mice--given unlimited access to food--overate. (Sound familiar?) When the mice were put on a strict diet of fewer, controlled calories, they became fatigued, disinterested, and lacked motivation (you won’t believe how they tested this…). After the mice were taken off the diet, they were allowed to eat anything they wanted. Once again, they overate uncontrollably, quickly packing on more weight then before they went on a diet!
Here is what the researchers concluded:
1. Dieting makes both mice and men miserable.
By testing the blood of the mice, Bayle also found that several genes important in regulating stress and eating had changed. Previous research shows that experiences can alter the form and structure of DNA, an effect known as epigenetics. Even after the mice were fed back to their normal weights, the epigenetic changes remained. It's as if they were mice on the verge of a nervous breakdown and their way to deal was to keep on binging long after the food restriction was lifted.
"Evolution developed the brain to rapidly respond to a reduction in calories as well as change its programming for the future," Bale explained. "If you were in a famine and came across something calorically dense, your brain will tell you to eat as much as possible and pack on the calories and pounds because there could be another famine coming." To lose weight, many of us could benefit from reverse engineering this phenomenon out of the brain. Bale speculates this could be done by adding a stress reduction component to every diet.
2. Controlling stress helps a person retain weight loss.
"Because stress drives the brain pathways that seek out reward, most people seek that reward from high-calorie food. You need to find non-caloric stress releases, like yoga or exercise, to deal with it instead," Bale said, adding that preliminary investigative evidence proving yoga and meditation lead to weight loss comes as no surprise to her. A 2009 study by Australian researchers revealed that “those on low-fat diets maintained an increase in positive mood throughout the year.”
In the 2009 Australian study, “participants met with a dietician twice a month to help them stay on track and researchers assessed participants' feelings of depression, anxiety, anger, and fatigue before the diet began, after eight weeks of dieting, 24 weeks, and at the end of the year. Though participants consumed the same amount of calories and lost the same amount of weight -- 30 pounds on average -- only those on the low-fat diet maintained an increase in positive mood throughout the year. Dr. Keith Ayoob, nutritionist and associate professor at Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York said, 'When a diet is [very] low in carbs, it can start to wear you down.'"
3. Controlling portions is the real secret to weight loss.
It may also be worth noting that when scientists like Bale want their furry subjects to slim down, they don't slip hoodia in their water, feed them exclusively grapefruit, or ask them to subsist on baby food. They simply cut back their portion sizes. Funny enough, it always seemed to work. Of course, that's not the point of this study and clearly, a mouse is not a person any more than a laboratory is a fast food joint. But besides getting diet stress under control, eating less is a good take home message for anyone who is looking for the real secret to losing weight.
As we approach both the holiday season of unlimited food festivities and the guilt and goals that follow with New Year "diet resolutions," I'd like to suggest making just a few little changes in your lifestyle, in order to see big results in your health.
1. Embrace a food plan that revolves around portion and carbohydrate control, as well as lower-fat foods.
2. Enlist an accountability partner (friend, coach, counselor, mentor) to help you process your emotions while losing weight.
3. Engage in a body and mind exercise program that includes stretching and burning and breathing and building...
Over the next few days and weeks, consider HOW you can make these "little changes" happen. If I can help you, don't hesitate to ask a question or join one of my groups in 2011. For more information, visit LittleChangesBigResults.TV.
Be encouraged,
Becky
Sunday, December 5, 2010
The Gift of Change
This is the season to give. Maybe it is time to change the way you give gifts? Even a little change will have a big result in someone else's life. Check out this blog (my son and his wife's) for 6 places to purchase gifts that each have a "give back" component:
JakeandKhara.blogspot.com
Included on the blog are links to 31 Bits, Krochet Kids, Toms, Mocha Club, One Mango Tree and Light Gives Heat--all organizations that are working to change people's lives. Make a change in the way you do gift-giving this year!
Be encouraged,
Becky
JakeandKhara.blogspot.com
Included on the blog are links to 31 Bits, Krochet Kids, Toms, Mocha Club, One Mango Tree and Light Gives Heat--all organizations that are working to change people's lives. Make a change in the way you do gift-giving this year!
Be encouraged,
Becky
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)