What is stronger, cheaper, and easier to get? Heroin!

Yep. Heroin.

It’s Stronger— more addictive than in previous years.
It’s Cheaper—almost inexpensive; only $15 bucks for a high.
It’s Easier—available near high school campuses in every class of neighborhood.

I was personally shocked while watching a recent 20/20 Special that showed suburban teens struggling to overcome a debilitating addiction to heroin. These were kids who came from good families. They lived in pretty nice neighborhoods. And they had every reason to quit using heroin—but they couldn’t. (Apparently 80% of heroin addicts relapse who have gone into treatment centers.)

Are you shocked, like I was, that heroin is stronger, easier and cheaper to get than ever before? We shouldn't be.

So is alcohol.
So is pornography.
So is sex.

As an advocate for sober living (I have 32 years of sobriety), I suggest everyone watch the 20/20 segment and read the attached informative article—it will (1) bring awareness to this rapidly growing problem and (2) possibly identify someone in your life who is using and needs help to get sober.

But there must be more you and I can do, don’t you think?

Tweens, teens, and twenties getting high is a NOT new phenomenon. But it does seem as if more and more of our youngest Americans are looking for any variety or combination of substances (street drugs, prescription drugs, alcohol, or sex) to numb their pain.

Perhaps students are simply a reflection of our nation?

It appears that a great many Americans are consumed with escaping reality by ignoring responsibility or losing themselves in anything that promises to take away their problems, erase their mistakes without consequences, or end their suffering or shame without asking for help.

Rather than accept our culture, let's change our culture by making little changes in our own lives that are sure to have big results in the lives of others.

Start today by asking, “What can I do to change the trends that are tearing apart families in my community? How can I help those who are suffering and who have no one to help them? Who needs something that I have, but don’t need anymore? Where can I volunteer as a counselor, mentor, or sponsor and give back in the same way someone helped me when I was hurting?"

The problems we face as a nation are not someone else’s—they are yours and they are mine. Answer the above questions and get busy!

Be encouraged to change the culture.

Are Americans Gullible?

In a recent issue of Forbes Magazine, publisher, Rich Karlgaard, wrote a very interesting article on the “Dark Side of Optimism” in which he spoke derogatorily about American entrepreneurs and self-help gurus. An entrepreneur myself, I was curious to read what he had to say. His premise? Americans are gullible for the quick fix and super-promises that are regularly being delivered to them—plastic surgery, swift divorce options, record-breaking (drug-enhanced) athletic achievements or unbelievable financial gains. He suggests that many Americans are naïve—that we’d rather believe lies than live the truth.

His opinion couldn’t have been timelier. It was recently suggested to me that Little Changes Big Results™ is neither earth shattering nor revolutionary. Though it is a basic life-style philosophy, full of simple and practical ways for people to make little changes in their daily lives, it doesn’t deliver big results--at least not fast enough.

Perhaps the real dilemma for most Americans is not how quickly we can change, but what we consider to be big results?

Ask any addict how they achieved decades of sobriety and they will tell you that sobriety is earned one day at a time, one determined choice at a time, one week at a time over consecutive months and years. Sobriety is a big result, but it can be lost with one poor decision.

Ask a college graduate how they achieved their degree and each one will tell you that it took commitment, hard work, showing up, brainpower, and attention to details and deadlines. A college degree is a big result, but it takes years of intention and sacrifice.

Ask a parent of an adult child who is making a contribution to society what it took to raise such a great kid and they won’t tell you it was easy or effortless. They will tell you that it took unlimited conversations about values and morals (that began at a very young age), lots of prayer, consistent role modeling, and personal (especially financial) sacrifice. Raising a great kid in America today is a big result, but it takes time and courage.

Ask any woman who has grown up with the image of super-thin magazine models (that elicited an epidemic of eating disorders) or the lure of plastic surgery as ones preferred method of beautification but chose to maintain a healthy weight through balanced eating and regular exercise, and she’ll tell you she had to exhibit self-control every day. In a nation where obesity and diabetes are escalating, a healthy, naturally aging body is a big result, but it takes daily discipline to make oneself workout, eat less, and accept ones age and genetics.

Ask any monogamous couple, who has been married for over two or three decades, how they stayed faithful for so many years and they will tell you that it was a decision they made to the person they married to honor each other (and their commitment) all the days of their lives. Marriage to the same person is a big (actually, it is a huge) result, especially if you have kids, but it requires wholehearted love for another more than for oneself.

I’m all about BIG RESULTS. In fact, I’m living proof that little changes add up to decades of sobriety, marriage, parenting, weight maintenance, and more education. So if those are the big results you desire, then join me here weekly for simple, practical advice on how to get what you want with the life you’ve been given.

Be encouraged,

Becky

PS I'd love to hear your thoughts...please comment on this blog!

House Trashed, Kids Smashed, and Parents Jailed in Florida

This weekend in Florida, police responded to a noise complaint only to find 500 kids smashed, 1 house trashed, and 2 parents jailed as reported in the NY Daily News.

"The mother, 43, told the cops that she had helped plan the party for her 16- and 17-year-old sons but was told to stay in her room "the whole time because my son wanted me to stay there for the evening so he could have the party." She also insisted "everyone brought their own alcohol into the house."

The answers to the obvious questions such as…

“Who provided the alcohol?” or
“Were the parents home?” or
“Where did all these kids park their cars?”

were succinctly answered in the article.

Unfortunately, there was little helpful information given to parents of teens to avoid a similar situation with their kids.

I’m an advocate for teenage sobriety. My credentials, as well as my empathy for parents and teens, go deep. I was an alcoholic as a teenager—who hit cars while drinking, almost died of alcohol poisoning and dropped out of college due to a binge drinking, sexual assault incident. Once sober, I became a coach and youth worker on a large, public high school campus for almost a decade. By the time I had a teenager of my own, I often felt alone in my conviction to provide an alcohol-free social life for my son.

Then and now, alcohol-use is synonymous with a fun, active social life on most campuses. And in most communities, many adults actually consider underage alcohol-use harmless, while a vast majority of underage students consider alcohol-use a “rite of passage” if not a sign of popularity. Herein lies the dilemma: kids want to be popular and parents certainly don’t want to hinder them from feeling accepted by their peers, but as the Rasabi family found out, there are legal ramifications for holding an underage drinking party—whether you supply the liquor or not.

Having experienced all stages of teenage underage drinking—being the teenager, working as an advocate for teenagers, and then becoming the parent of a teenager, I consider alcohol and its use to be worthy of a family discussion (ranging from family of origin issues to personal convictions) with children at a very young age.

At FamilyEducation.com, there is a variety of very helpful information including the most current statistics of kids and alcohol, as well as the following specific steps parents should consider if they have teens:

1. Evaluate how your family uses alcohol. Daily, to relax? Only for special celebrations or for religious ones? Only when there's company? Are you comfortable with the message this conveys to your children?

2. Don't involve your teenager in your drinking by asking her to bring you a beer or mix you a drink.

3. Should you introduce alcohol to your teen at home so he can learn of its effects? Some parents do; others feel that serving alcohol at home reduces yet one more barrier to keeping him alcohol-free. (Also, most alcoholic drinks are an acquired taste; it may be advantageous if a teen isn't taught to like them.)

4. Lock up your liquor. While motivated teens seem to have little trouble buying liquor, a good amount of what they drink comes from someone's home stock. If you lock it up, you don't have to worry about your teen (or her friends) getting hold of it.

From personal experience, alcohol use and abuse within a family can have a profoundly negative impact on everyone. Not only can it become a source of legal troubles, but it can be the catalyst for dropping out of school, losing friends, or being removed from sports teams.

If there are students in your life, don't hesitate to make one or more of the little changes suggested at FamilyEducation.com or DrugFree.org -- any one of them has the potential of delivering a big result fro your family!

Be encouraged,

Becky

Fight Cancer with Food

This week, another friend of mine was diagnosed with cancer. It is devastating to receive such news. Yet, more than ever, cancer seems to touch most families—boys and girls, men and women.

Though each cancer is different in origin and impact, more and more people are understanding the power they have to fight cancer, if not prevent it, by changing the foods they eat, how they prepare their food, and even how often they eat out.

I know. My husband had cancer. Upon diagnosis, he spent unlimited hours researching how the “right” foods could change the way his body fought cancer. In a nutshell, he began eliminating white sugar and white flour which began the reversal of unhealthy habits and possibly even the retardation of his tumor. He is now "cancer free" after following a very strict nutritional protocol and eventually undergoing a successful robotic surgery.

We attribute a great deal of his positive outcome to his diligent commitment (which soon became an entire family’s commitment) to fighting cancer through nutrition for the 2 years before, then during and continuing after his surgery.

I encourage you to review a very helpful website, Helpguide.org for a very practical presentation on 6 Cancer Prevention Diet Tips:

#1 – Focus on Plant Based Foods: It comes down to this: Plants have less fat, more fiber, and more cancer-fighting nutrients. These three elements work together to support your immune system and help your body fight off cancer.

#2 Bulk up on Fiber: Fiber is found in fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. In general, the more natural and unprocessed the food, the higher it is in fiber. There is no fiber in meat, dairy, sugar, or “white” foods like white bread, white rice, and pastries.

# 3 Cut Down on Meat: You don’t need to cut out meat completely and become a vegetarian. But most people consume far more meat than is healthy. You can cut down your cancer risk substantially by reducing the amount of animal-based products you eat and by choosing healthier meats.

#4 Choose Fats Wisely: A major benefit of cutting down on the amount of meat you eat is that you will automatically cut out a lot of unhealthy fat. Eating a diet high in fat increases your risk for many types of cancer. But cutting out fat entirely isn’t the answer, either. In fact, some types of fat may actually protect against cancer. The trick is to choose your fats wisely and eat them in moderation.

#5 Choose Cancer-Fighting Foods: Colorful fruits and vegetables are rich in phytochemicals, a potent disease–fighting and immune–boosting nutrient. The greater the variety of colors that you include, the more you will benefit, since different colors are rich in different phytochemicals.

#6 Prepare Your Food in Healthy Ways: Carcinogens are cancer-causing substances found in food. Carcinogens can form during the cooking or preserving process—mostly in relation to meat—and as foods start to spoil. Examples of foods that have carcinogens are cured, dried, and preserved meats (e.g. bacon, sausage, beef jerkey); burned or charred meets; smoked foods; and foods that have become moldy.

Each of the above tips require only little changes in the way you eat, yet from personal experience, I promise that they can have big results!

Be encouraged,

Becky

Telltale Signs of Teenage Suicide

Are you aware that 6 students from Cornell University committed suicide last year by jumping off a bridge to their death?

Or, did you know that suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death among American teenagers?

Though stress or breakups appear--on the surface--to be the cause, a closer look reveals that telltale signs usually appear while students are still in high school. And most often, the adults around those struggling adolescents are unable to decipher if they are just exhibiting typical teenage moodiness or signs of mental illness, such as depression or bipolar disorders.

In a recent CBS News report, citing that 14% of US High School students seriously consider suicide, President David Scorton of Cornell and President Richard McCormick of Rutgers discussed how important it is for adults and teenagers to remove the stigma against mental health issues, as well as restrict the means by which students use to commit suicide.

But the most preventative measure that could immediately be implemented by parents, faculty, administration, or fellow students is to just talk to students who seem to be struggling, simply asking, “Is something wrong?” By listening to the concerns of struggling students, especially acknowledging that their feelings of loneliness or insecurity are not uncommon can curb the impulse he or she might have to end his or her life.

As a troubled young woman, who almost committed suicide before I was 21-years old, this story reminded me of how I too considered suicide as a way out of my struggles. But because a stranger offered to talk to me and listen to me (after a court hearing, when I was very vulnerable), I’m alive today. He listened long enough for the impulse to leave me.

I’d love to think that today’s blog and CBS News story have created significant awareness in your life to the struggles of today’s teenagers. One little change in the way you react to mental illness, give permission to talk about uncomfortable feelings, empathize with loneliness, redirect a conversation, offer to meet up again or suggest a mental health check-up could save a young person’s life—literally—and that would be a BIG result.

Be encouraged to make a difference in a young person's life!

Becky

Have you ever read the Big Book?

This week, Alcoholics Anonymous' Big Book, after 70 years, is being released in its original form. Included in The Book That Started It All is founder, Bill Wilson’s hand written edits from the manuscript, making for a fascinating story of how the organization was shaped in 1939.

Alcoholism touches millions of lives.

I am the child and grandchild of alcoholics. Yet, like most teenagers, I never imagined that my hard-partying “good times” at 15-years old would eventually land me “at the bottom” by the time I was 21. But they did. In a courtroom, faced with drunk driving charges, possibly pregnant by one of two men, I could trace the demise of my life to my first drink in high school. Before “binge drinking” was popular, I drank more than anyone else—a common thread among alcoholics. Unlike most of my friends, I was never too hung over not to drink the very next day. And for years, I blacked out or passed out almost every time I drank. The signs were all there, yet I wouldn’t admit that I even had a problem, much less identify myself as an alcoholic…until I stood in front of a judge.

Because I wasn’t sentenced immediately, I had time to think about my future. But after only a few hours alone with myself—I felt trapped. I wanted out of my addiction and out of my predicaments, but I had nowhere to turn. I’d burned all my bridges—lying, deceiving, and betraying people whenever it allowed me the opportunity to get high. I considered suicide. Instead, I drove to a church. I was looking for something or someone to save me—literally. And I actually found someone. The janitor. He was newly sober. Having lost his job as a schoolteacher, the only job in town he could get was a church janitor. It was more than a coincidence.

Because of the janitor, I found hope that day. I asked and received forgiveness that day. I felt release from my shame and guilt as I began to walk through the first few 12 steps, “I can’t, God can, I’ll let Him.”

I’ve since spent over 32 years gratefully sober (as my friend likes to say). I’ve spent as many years telling my story to students and adults who struggle—it’s called the 12th Step. And almost every year near January 28th, I go to an AA meeting and get my “chip” as a symbol (and a reward) for the battle I’ve won for my family—past, present, and future—ending the legacy of alcoholism in my family with my generation.

I, for one, am extremely grateful for Bill Wilson and his friends who paved the way for the millions of us who have struggled with addiction. I’m a beneficiary of the stories and steps these men and women articulated 70 years ago, reminding us that empathy and support is often best understood and most freely given by other strugglers. And I’m genuinely impressed with the timelessness of the 12 Steps that continue to give a pathway to men and women—across the world—on how to live sober, love others and give back.

It should be no surprise that Little Changes Big Results™ is built on a similar foundation as Alcoholics Anonymous:

Once you become aware that you have a problem, you can receive courage and hope to change by admitting to God and others that you need help. And big results will come with the accumulation of little changes achieved one hour, one day at a time. Most importantly, long lasting change is sustained by accountability to others—especially to fellow strugglers who know when to lift us up, call us out, encourage us to attend a meeting, get on our knees and humble ourselves in a prayer, or make amends to those we’ve hurt.

I hope you are encouraged,

Becky

Robotripping--a new, cheap high among students!

Today, a new trend among students is Robotripping—taking cough medicine from a parent’s medicine cabinet and getting high.

When I was growing up, we simply drank our parents’ liquor that, similarly, was neither hidden nor locked up. We knew where to find it and how to replace the amount we took with water.

Yes, kids have always been doing risky and dangerous things, but if you're a parent today, you can protect your kids and their friends by making three little changes that will have big results:

(1) Discuss then Role Play: Talk about the daily news reports that discuss drugs and alcohol. Don’t assume your kids are oblivious to these stories. Instead consider each scenario a teaching opportunity. For example, this week, a young starlet failed another drug test after only a few weeks out of jail and rehab. Discuss the details. Ask simple questions, such as, “Do you know anyone who does this stuff?” Don’t accuse, just discuss. Then “role play” with your kids: What would you say if you were asked to try a substance or do something illegal? What would you do or whom would you call if your friends weren’t ready to leave a party and you didn’t have a ride home?

Additionally, talk about your past. You don’t have to give specific details as much as identify with the pressure of being in an uncomfortable or scary situation or the importance of friends who have similar values. Don’t underestimate the importance of your concern and interest in your kids’ culture.

(2) Be a Role Model: As a Life Coach and former athletic coach, I have consistently raised the bar for my own life so that I am presenting the possibility to students that you can be fun and sober and live by your convictions, even if your peers or coworkers or family members do not hold those same values.

Just last week, I spoke for my son’s non-profit organization that serves the Latino community in our county. As I told the students and their parents about my own struggle with alcohol as a teenager, my consecutive years of sobriety, and how difficult it was to be a sober parent and raise a child in a sex-crazed, binge-drinking culture, my son began to wipe the tears streaming down his cheeks. His tears reminded me just how difficult it was for both of us during his high school years—to have a parent not really fit in nor align herself with the partying culture of society. There was a cost for both of us. Parents and kids must know that there will be lonely times when you determine to live differently than the cultural norms.

(3) Clean the House: This little change is pretty simple. In the recovery world, when you get sober, you clean—and it starts in the home. Based on recent reports, household meds are today’s drug-of-choice for kids. Do you have medicines in your cabinets that others can freely access--everything from prescription drugs to over-the-counter medicines? Or do you have a case of beer or wine in your garage? Would you even notice if a bottle or two were missing? Remember, it may not be your kids who want what to experiment with what you have in your house—their friends might be the savvy and sneaky ones.

Whether or not you have kids of your own, this young generation is looking for caring adults who will take an interest in them by offering them wise advice, a role model to follow, and a safe house in which to live or visit.

Be encouraged,

Becky