This weekend in Florida, police responded to a noise complaint only to find 500 kids smashed, 1 house trashed, and 2 parents jailed as reported in the NY Daily News.
"The mother, 43, told the cops that she had helped plan the party for her 16- and 17-year-old sons but was told to stay in her room "the whole time because my son wanted me to stay there for the evening so he could have the party." She also insisted "everyone brought their own alcohol into the house."
The answers to the obvious questions such as…
“Who provided the alcohol?” or
“Were the parents home?” or
“Where did all these kids park their cars?”
were succinctly answered in the article.
Unfortunately, there was little helpful information given to parents of teens to avoid a similar situation with their kids.
I’m an advocate for teenage sobriety. My credentials, as well as my empathy for parents and teens, go deep. I was an alcoholic as a teenager—who hit cars while drinking, almost died of alcohol poisoning and dropped out of college due to a binge drinking, sexual assault incident. Once sober, I became a coach and youth worker on a large, public high school campus for almost a decade. By the time I had a teenager of my own, I often felt alone in my conviction to provide an alcohol-free social life for my son.
Then and now, alcohol-use is synonymous with a fun, active social life on most campuses. And in most communities, many adults actually consider underage alcohol-use harmless, while a vast majority of underage students consider alcohol-use a “rite of passage” if not a sign of popularity. Herein lies the dilemma: kids want to be popular and parents certainly don’t want to hinder them from feeling accepted by their peers, but as the Rasabi family found out, there are legal ramifications for holding an underage drinking party—whether you supply the liquor or not.
Having experienced all stages of teenage underage drinking—being the teenager, working as an advocate for teenagers, and then becoming the parent of a teenager, I consider alcohol and its use to be worthy of a family discussion (ranging from family of origin issues to personal convictions) with children at a very young age.
At FamilyEducation.com, there is a variety of very helpful information including the most current statistics of kids and alcohol, as well as the following specific steps parents should consider if they have teens:
1. Evaluate how your family uses alcohol. Daily, to relax? Only for special celebrations or for religious ones? Only when there's company? Are you comfortable with the message this conveys to your children?
2. Don't involve your teenager in your drinking by asking her to bring you a beer or mix you a drink.
3. Should you introduce alcohol to your teen at home so he can learn of its effects? Some parents do; others feel that serving alcohol at home reduces yet one more barrier to keeping him alcohol-free. (Also, most alcoholic drinks are an acquired taste; it may be advantageous if a teen isn't taught to like them.)
4. Lock up your liquor. While motivated teens seem to have little trouble buying liquor, a good amount of what they drink comes from someone's home stock. If you lock it up, you don't have to worry about your teen (or her friends) getting hold of it.
From personal experience, alcohol use and abuse within a family can have a profoundly negative impact on everyone. Not only can it become a source of legal troubles, but it can be the catalyst for dropping out of school, losing friends, or being removed from sports teams.
If there are students in your life, don't hesitate to make one or more of the little changes suggested at FamilyEducation.com or DrugFree.org -- any one of them has the potential of delivering a big result fro your family!
Be encouraged,
Becky
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