Do You See What I See?

Since August of 2009, when I first began this blog, I've continued to write about current affairs that focus on our nation's obsession with food or sex or alcohol or street/prescription drugs.  Whether the "users" are parents, teachers, students, entertainers or athletes, the problem of addiction seems to touch all of us.

And after 100+ blogs and a little hiatus, I continue to ask, "Do you see what I see?" Does anyone else really want to see our nation change for the better? Are any of us willing to do something about the trend of addiction, assault, or abuse among our nation's young adults and children, rather than keep watching?

Because it is apparent that if we--adults who care--don't do or say something NOW, we will (1) watch another funeral of a talented musician who has a history of addiction, or (2) witness another arrest of students (or teachers) caught using drugs or assaulting/abusing coeds on their campus, or (3) risk becoming like 1/3 of Americans who suffer from obesity and heart disease because of poor eating habits and lack of exercise.

Addiction isn't someone else's problem.  This is an American problem and it touches almost every family.

In this blog, LittleChangesBigResultsOnline.com, I've addressed America's addiction to food, sex, drugs, and alcohol by providing immediate little changes that every family can make that are proven to result in big changes, such as improved health, second chances at life, or ending the legacy of addiction in your family.

What is one little change you can make today? Please let me know if there are topics you would like me to address by writing to info@beckytirabassionline.com.  Please forward this blog to a friend to join and receive weekly encouragement. Or read past posts that are of interest to you and make comments.

Make some noise!  Let me know that you are listening!

Be encouraged,

Becky

Love, Liquor and Lies

I was teenage alcoholic.  I regularly did things on a Friday night that I had no recollection of on a Saturday morning.  Someone usually had to tell me what I had done. Sometimes, I had to wait for weeks, even months, before knowing the full consequences of my drunken binges.

For so many underage drinkers, what starts out as fun and social turns into shame, or worse, tragedy.

In May of 2010, I blogged about Yeardley Love, a beautiful lacrosse player at the University of Virginia, whose life ended after a beating in her college apartment.  The last person to see her was her college boyfriend, who is now—this very week—on trial for allegedly killing her.

They were a darling, privileged couple; college seniors on very prestigious athletic teams at their esteemed university, the University of Virginia.

But there were signs of trouble—red flags—that so many people saw but didn’t report, such as public displays of physical or verbal abuse and excessive bouts of drinking. 

Today’s young men and women and their families need to talk about this story--how they would react if they had been friends with this couple, or parents who had known this couple, or coaches who coached this couple, or teammates who watched this tragedy unfold. If someone had spoken up and intervened, rather than remained silent, Yeardley Love might be still be alive.

It's too late for Yeardley Love, who died that night, or for George Hugley, who has been waiting for trial since 2010.  Their lives have changed forever by unrequited love, liquor abuse, and lies that kept everyone believing nothing bad would happen. But it did.

Don’t be naive.  Whether you are a student, parent, coach, or administrator, you must take time to understand the campus culture in America today. (For immediate insights and links to informative websites, read my Little Changes Big Results® blog, “They’re Not Waving, They’re Drowning,” that compiled FIVE similar stories and their tragic outcomes.) 

Adults MUST stop looking the other way.  We need to speak truth into the lives of young men and women--whether they are our own children or someone else's kids.  We need to “call them out” for bullying, binge drinking, sexual assault and abuse.  You and I—adults who care about this young generation—must talk to our kids and their friends about (1) the difference between love and sex, (2) the power of alcohol to ruin a life, and (3) the way that lies can distort reality and create a web of destruction. 

Start today, with one little change that could have a life-changing big results: please forward this blog to your friends with tweens, teens, and twenties. 

Be encouraged,

Becky

Do Your Kids Get 60 Minutes of Exercise a Day? CDC says they should!

Are you aware that the Center for Disease Control’s research recently found that students need approximately 60 minutes of exercise daily to remain healthy?

Yet, severe cuts to physical education programs in schools across America are the norm rather than the exception.  Fearing that exercise is a time-waster, schools have cut out what might be one of the best “brain” boosters our kids need!

These and other findings – on a gamut of issues related to children – should cause Americans to review, if not revise their personal policies and practices on health and wellness.  More importantly, parents should never depend on their schools or government to care more about the physical, emotional, social, and mental health of our children more than we do! 

Let’s break it down…

First ask, “What does ‘healthy’ mean to my family?” Is it dependent upon prosperity? Does it mean disease-free? Is it an “ideal” that remains elusive unless you enhance your life with injections or surgery or drugs or cleanses?

Health can be defined as how well a person functions: (1) physically (moving and breathing, coordination, energy and strength), (2) emotionally (soundness of mind and able to cope with change) (3) mentally growing in age-appropriate skills, as well as (4) relationally connected to their family, friends, and faith. 

Today, I urge you to begin with the most obvious area of health and take a short physical fitness assessment of your entire family.

1.    Is there any history of heart disease, smoking, addiction, or diabetes? 

2.    Do we eat a healthy, balanced diet of fresh fruits and vegetables, grains and protein or are we more prone to eat “fast foods” that are full of fats and sugars and carbohydrates? 

3.    Are we an active family—do we encourage playing outside, are we engaged in group and/or age-appropriate sports, do we enjoy hiking or walking or biking?   

No matter your answers, everyone can improve the health and wellness of his or her family.  You can begin today by making one little change that will have a big result:

Be the person in your neighborhood with a physical fitness plan! 

How?  Be the adult who gathers the neighborhood kids for weekly fun activities or outdoor recreation.  (Remember growing up to endless nights of neighborhood games such as “kick the can”, pick up soccer games, and family softball tournaments?)  Why not organize something that you enjoyed playing as a kid?  Or if you’re stuck inside, clear the basement or living room of all furniture and have a short PE class with blaring music—stretching, jumping jacks, jogging in place, knee lifts and lunges!

There will be more benefits than just burning calories!  You’ll know what’s going on with your kids. You’ll hear the “chit-chat” regarding school. You’ll become aware of new friendships, and you’ll be one of the first one to hear if there is trouble brewing.  You’ll not only be increasing their energy but you'll be improving their attention span for learning.  And if you really want to get make this a healthy endeavor, get a few other parents involved and provide healthy snacks such as nuts, fruit, and ice-cold water after the activity.

Come on—don’t wait for someone else to do this!  Get active. Be the change agent!

Be encouraged,

Becky

French Fries are Addicting and why "None is Better than One!"

You’re not crazy! French fries have been scientifically proven to be addicting!

In a recent study, researcher, Daniel Piomelli, Director of the UCI School of Medicine’s Center for Drug Discovery & Development, has identified the marijuana-like culprit that makes your brain (tongue and tummy) want more than one French fry: endocannabinoids!

Here is how it works:

"The process starts on the tongue, where fats in food generate a signal that travels first to the brain and then through a nerve bundle called the vagus to the intestines.

There, the signal stimulates the production of endocannabinoids, which initiates a surge in cell signaling that prompts the wanton intake of fatty foods, Piomelli said, probably by initiating the release of digestive chemicals linked to hunger and satiety that compel us to eat more."

So you’re not crazy—french fries are addicting! Now what? How can you overcome addiction?

Unfortunately, there is no simple secret to overcoming addiction.  But most recovered addicts admit, moderation just isn’t an option.  Cold turkey—or complete avoidance of a substance—is the only sure way to change the way ones brain thinks about or reacts to a once-loved chemical (food, drugs, alcohol, etc.).

As I approach my 34th year of sobriety (1/28), I know this subject intimately.  To quit drinking, I had to quit drinking.  I couldn’t toast champagne on special occasions, nor could I could have a “night cap” every once and a while.  There is no “I’ll just have one” in the vocabulary (or brain) of an addict.  

Actually, for the addict, none is better than one. Though it sounds like a big change, it's actually a little change to go from "some" to "none."  And you just make that decision "one day at a time" in order to get the big result of a healthy body, mind and soul!

Go for it!

Becky

A New Year's Challenge to Change!

Over the past few months, I have experienced a series of significant changes:

(1) My son and his wife moved into our home for a short stay and then left for Uganda, Africa for an 11 month trip. Their willingness to give up all they have to go where people need mentors and caregivers is beyond-inspiring to me!

(2) I started a Masters of Social Work program at USC--intensive reading, lots of writing, and not enough hours in my day!  I'm enthralled by what I'm learning.  I'm encouraged, knowing I'm in the right place at the right time in my life.

(3) We put our house up for sale--it is the end of one chapter that will lead to a new--somewhat unknown--chapter in our lives. I have entered one of those seasons where I don't know where I'm going!  Those seasons can either elicit either a spirit of adventure or anxiety!  I'm choosing adventure:)!

Today is January 1st, 2012.  It is the first day of a new year. It isn't a magical day UNLESS you choose to treat it as a special day of renewed hope, expectation, and change.    

Is it possible--to change in an instant or on one day, or just wake up a new person?

I'm convinced of this possibility because I experienced a radical, life-altering change of heart and mind--one afternoon in August of 1976. I was suicidal, addicted to alcohol and drugs, and possibly pregnant at the age of 21. Randomly, a stranger offered to pray for me.  This began the immediate process of change.  The stranger told me that God loved me and forgave me. I wasn't religious, but I knew I needed a miracle because I had tried to quit drinking and I just couldn't change by myself. At the time, I didn't realize how transforming the power of forgiveness would be.  But that is what changed me THAT DAY, THAT MOMENT.  First I believed--and then acted like I believed--two simple things the stranger told me:

* God loved me.  Everyone knew I was helpless. My friends, family and co-workers had seen my collapse. I was a mess, unable to help myself.  Yet for some reason, I believed that God loved me anyway.  That first thought was powerful enough to give me the courage to love myself enough NOT to take my life. It gave me hope to live.

* God forgave me. I had done so many awful things to myself and others, I knew didn't deserve forgiveness.  But the stranger made it clear that I would never deserve or earn forgiveness. It was a gift from God.  So I accepted the gift.

I walked out of the room THAT DAY and I physically looked different (my facial expressions had changed from depressed and anxious and guilty to peaceful). And I acted different (I was hope-filled, joy-filled, no longer suicidal, and I didn't want or need a drink). I even unashamedly told others that I was loved and forgiven by God and though they weren't religious, they couldn't deny that "wasted, suicidal Becky" was unexplainably different.  She was a changed woman in one afternoon.  And "the change" lasted for the next 35 years.

Most importantly, I knew that there were others just like me--depressed, anxious, addicted.  They needed to hear this life-changing message of love and forgiveness.  I hadn't been to a doctor or a hospital.  I wasn't given pills.  If love and forgiveness had changed me, I wanted others to know they too could be loved and forgiven, no matter what they'd done.  So I set out on a meaningful path--over 35 years ago--to tell as many people as I could that their lives were meant for something: they were supposed give love and extend forgiveness whenever they had the chance!

Nazi concentration camp survivor and renowned psychiatrist Victor Frankl, author of Man's Meaning of Significance, wrote, "...every human being has the freedom to change at any instant. . . one of the main features of human existence is the capacity to rise above (such) conditions, to grow beyond them. Man is capable of changing the world for the better, and of changing himself for the better if necessary."

May this day be the beginning of a new life for you and those you love!  May you accept God's love, acknowledge His forgiveness toward you and then go out into your world, loving and forgiving others.  This little change--of attitude--will have a significant, meaningful and big result in your life and upon those who know you!  I promise.

Be encouraged and Happy New Year!

Becky