In the past week, I've had numerous conversations with parents of teens and preteens from all over America regarding bullying, underage drinking, drug overdoses, suicide, pornography, and dating. Yikes! Do you have any idea of what is going on in our nation's neighborhoods and schools?
Most of us, unless we have kids that age, don't realize the seriousness of the issues boys and girls are facing today. And even if your kids come from a secure and stable home, the kids whom they sit next to everyday in class might be struggling for any number of reasons. All I'm saying is that a parent in today's culture cannot be naive, under-informed or intimidated to talk to his or her kids.
I continually think of myself as an awareness advocate. And in this role, I'm growing more convinced that parents must talk to their kids about everything-- even if it is uncomfortable.
On one of my most frequented websites, drugfree.org, I found the following advice:
"If you are at all concerned about a child – or even just have a bad feeling – you can and should intervene by:
Setting tighter limits with clear consequences
Getting outside help and support if necessary
Having productive conversations with a child -- remain calm, share your concerns and listen.
Closely monitoring your child's behavior and activities."
In fact, this very informative article on intervention strongly suggested: "It's imperative that you intervene as soon as your instinct tells you that something is wrong."
I think many parents are often afraid that they might be overreacting or they don't want to confront school administration, nor do they want to embarrass the family name or disrupt a child's schooling for treatment or relocation. But if you overheard the conversations I've had just this week, I know you would be moved to action.
So I'm going to challenge you to make one little change that will have a big result: THIS WEEK start reading and watching news stories about teens and...addiction, depression, today's drugs of choice (prescription or street) and their rampant availability to the very youngest students, bullying, alcohol abuse and its relationship to sexual assault on college campuses...then see if you aren't inspired to do something in your community to change the culture!
Be encouraged,
Becky
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Teens Drink for Free!
Of the 709,000 12-14 year olds who drink in America, almost half of them either drink at home or get their alcohol from home (as reported in a recent SAMHSA study). And 94% of those kids get their liquor for free. Most shocking, of the 12-14 year olds surveyed, almost 16% of them were given the alcohol by their parent or guardian!
Outside of the sad fact that the average age of kids experimenting with drugs and alcohol is getting lower and lower, the rest of the report shouldn’t shock you, because if you were a teenager in the last 40 years…
You or your friends probably drank while underage,
You or someone you knew probably drank while driving,
You or your friends probably drank your parent’s liquor while they were out,
You probably went to a party where a “kegger” was supplied by the parents,
You or your friends probably drank to be popular,
You or your friends drank because you felt insecure, or
You or a friend drank more than everyone else because a parent or grandparent was an alcoholic.
Years ago, there weren’t many studies that revealed the truth about teens and alcohol: the increased number of kids who dropped out of school because they drank, or the higher number of alcohol-related criminal arrests and sexual assaults, or the percentage of teens who were diagnosed as alcoholics. But when the statistics of kids who drank and drove and killed innocent people was made public, and when 1000's of teenagers from every community were being repeatedly admitted to treatment centers, and when the majority of sexual assaults on college campuses could be linked to alcohol abuse, more and more families, schools, and communities started talking about the reality of the problem in America.
For many years, I have been an advocate of the prevention of underage drinking. And frankly, sometimes I feel as if I am in the minority! So, I'd like to ask you to join me.
Would you consider making a few little changes in your life, in order to see the big results of teens who complete their education, aren’t involved in drunk-driving accidents, and don’t get caught up in vandalism, unplanned sex, or alcohol-related injuries and illnesses? I promise, it's worth the fight!
Here is how YOU can prevent underage drinking:
1. BE AWARE of the first signs of Alcohol Use and Abuse:
* Grades lower, friends change, alcohol-related habits occur (such as smoking), attitude and mood gets darker.
2. HAVE OPEN CONVERSATIONS about Alcohol:
* Talk about family genetics, role play uncomfortable situations, discuss how they feel and think about alcohol, parties, and what might “trigger" them to drink (ex: shy, bored, homesick, peer pressure).
3. PROVIDE ALCOHOL-FREE ACTIVITIES and Environments:
* Get creative and arrange fun, social gatherings with themes, activities, movies and sports/games, provide alternative vacation/holiday options, and never be without a variety of weekend activities that give your kids and their friends something to do (such as bowling).
If you don’t make these little changes, kids' social choices will most likely involve drinking.
Please don’t be shocked or naive. Be proactive.
Be encouraged!
Becky
P. S. If you have a tween or teen or an under 21-er, dig a little deeper and read the following articles from these outlets:
Health News Daily
MSNBC
SAMHSA News Advisory
Outside of the sad fact that the average age of kids experimenting with drugs and alcohol is getting lower and lower, the rest of the report shouldn’t shock you, because if you were a teenager in the last 40 years…
You or your friends probably drank while underage,
You or someone you knew probably drank while driving,
You or your friends probably drank your parent’s liquor while they were out,
You probably went to a party where a “kegger” was supplied by the parents,
You or your friends probably drank to be popular,
You or your friends drank because you felt insecure, or
You or a friend drank more than everyone else because a parent or grandparent was an alcoholic.
Years ago, there weren’t many studies that revealed the truth about teens and alcohol: the increased number of kids who dropped out of school because they drank, or the higher number of alcohol-related criminal arrests and sexual assaults, or the percentage of teens who were diagnosed as alcoholics. But when the statistics of kids who drank and drove and killed innocent people was made public, and when 1000's of teenagers from every community were being repeatedly admitted to treatment centers, and when the majority of sexual assaults on college campuses could be linked to alcohol abuse, more and more families, schools, and communities started talking about the reality of the problem in America.
For many years, I have been an advocate of the prevention of underage drinking. And frankly, sometimes I feel as if I am in the minority! So, I'd like to ask you to join me.
Would you consider making a few little changes in your life, in order to see the big results of teens who complete their education, aren’t involved in drunk-driving accidents, and don’t get caught up in vandalism, unplanned sex, or alcohol-related injuries and illnesses? I promise, it's worth the fight!
Here is how YOU can prevent underage drinking:
1. BE AWARE of the first signs of Alcohol Use and Abuse:
* Grades lower, friends change, alcohol-related habits occur (such as smoking), attitude and mood gets darker.
2. HAVE OPEN CONVERSATIONS about Alcohol:
* Talk about family genetics, role play uncomfortable situations, discuss how they feel and think about alcohol, parties, and what might “trigger" them to drink (ex: shy, bored, homesick, peer pressure).
3. PROVIDE ALCOHOL-FREE ACTIVITIES and Environments:
* Get creative and arrange fun, social gatherings with themes, activities, movies and sports/games, provide alternative vacation/holiday options, and never be without a variety of weekend activities that give your kids and their friends something to do (such as bowling).
If you don’t make these little changes, kids' social choices will most likely involve drinking.
Please don’t be shocked or naive. Be proactive.
Be encouraged!
Becky
P. S. If you have a tween or teen or an under 21-er, dig a little deeper and read the following articles from these outlets:
Health News Daily
MSNBC
SAMHSA News Advisory
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Little Changes Big Results® for Crazy, Busy Couples!
My husband, Dr. Roger Tirabassi, and I just spoke to over 300 couples that attended a Compelling Marriage Conference in Southern California. Along with other speakers, we shared a number of our best relationship tools that we’ve designed over the past two decades while working with dating, engaged, and married couples.
As a Coach and a Counselor, we love to give couples immediate, “little changes” that will give them the “big results” they want--increased intimacy, creative dating ideas, and even tools for decreasing anger and defensiveness. They include:
Little Change #1: Communication by Elimination
Little Change #2: Develop a Love List
Little Change #3: Do the 5 A's Today
Little Change #4: Accept Each Other's Personality
Little Change #5: Create A Diffusing Statement
Little Change #6: Use a Time-Out Tool
Little Change #7: Connect Empathetically
Little Change #8: Learn Conflict Resolution "Quick Steps"
Little Change #9: Forgive and Give
Little Change #10: Designate A Date Night
If you want the perfect Valentine’s Day gift, click here to order the first book in our series, Little Changes Big Results® for Crazy, Busy Couples.
Be encouraged,
Becky
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Addicted to...SUGAR?
For those of us who have struggled with an addiction, we know the drill: abstain to change your brain, fight through withdrawal, then maintain sobriety with healthy alternatives and the help of others.
Local family doctors as well as renown television doctors are speaking out about a devastating a common American addiction: sugar.
Dr Oz, a cardiothoracic surgeon and host of his own medical television show, recently discussed sugar the way a recovery center would talk about drugs and alcohol saying, “Sugary and fatty foods affect the pathways to the brain in the same way as heroin or cocaine. Sugar acts directly in the brain to inhibit the effect of leptin and increased appetite so you never feel full.
What can you do to break the sugar habit?
Be strategic. Keep a food journal for one week. Write down EVERYTHING you eat AND drink. Highlight all foods that contain sugar.
Read labels. Do you know the variety of words that have the same meaning as sugar such as dextrose, sucrose, glucose, sucrose, fructose, maltodextrin, maltose, brown sugar, maple sugar, or molasses?
Stop drinking calories. 2 Coffee drinks, or sweet teas or sodas can add 500 calories a day to your diet, primarily from sugar! And 3500 calories a week from drinking calories equals one pound of weight on the scale! Is it worth it?
Start simple. Clean out your car, purse/brief case, desk top, or kitchen counter. Get rid of all sugary snacks, candy, and soda pop in your immediate sight. Replace with healthy substitutes such as 100-calorie almond packs, tea bags with spunk and flavor (but no sugar or calories), and bottles of spring (not sparkling or sugar loaded) water.
Dr. Oz also suggested a way to help reduce withdrawal and carb cravings. He said, “you can take supplements such as Chromium picolinate -- 1,000 mg daily -- to help with sugar withdrawal.” He added, “Vitamin B complex, 100 percent daily allowance, helps with carbohydrate cravings.”
As a life coach, the majority of people I coach are struggling to remove sugar from their diets. Making little changes, such as (1) completely eliminating soda is a powerful first step that can produce immediate weight loss (FYI: one of my gals lost 10 pounds in 2 weeks), or (2) asking the entire family to join you in eliminating excessive sugar can be an immediate source of accountability--and is especially helpful to children, and (3) replacing sugar with spices (such as cinnamon) or using natural, calorie free substitutes (such as stevia) will have big results: weight loss, lowering the risks of obesity and diabetes, and a healthier lifestyle.
As an addict with 33 years of sobriety, I know how difficult it is to remove something from your life that has a hold on you. But I am living proof that when you become aware that you have a problem, the best thing you can do is to admit to another person that you need help, follow a detailed action plan to remove the addictive substance from your life, and be accountable to as many people as possible to stay sober!
Be encouraged,
Becky
Local family doctors as well as renown television doctors are speaking out about a devastating a common American addiction: sugar.
Dr Oz, a cardiothoracic surgeon and host of his own medical television show, recently discussed sugar the way a recovery center would talk about drugs and alcohol saying, “Sugary and fatty foods affect the pathways to the brain in the same way as heroin or cocaine. Sugar acts directly in the brain to inhibit the effect of leptin and increased appetite so you never feel full.
What can you do to break the sugar habit?
Be strategic. Keep a food journal for one week. Write down EVERYTHING you eat AND drink. Highlight all foods that contain sugar.
Read labels. Do you know the variety of words that have the same meaning as sugar such as dextrose, sucrose, glucose, sucrose, fructose, maltodextrin, maltose, brown sugar, maple sugar, or molasses?
Stop drinking calories. 2 Coffee drinks, or sweet teas or sodas can add 500 calories a day to your diet, primarily from sugar! And 3500 calories a week from drinking calories equals one pound of weight on the scale! Is it worth it?
Start simple. Clean out your car, purse/brief case, desk top, or kitchen counter. Get rid of all sugary snacks, candy, and soda pop in your immediate sight. Replace with healthy substitutes such as 100-calorie almond packs, tea bags with spunk and flavor (but no sugar or calories), and bottles of spring (not sparkling or sugar loaded) water.
Dr. Oz also suggested a way to help reduce withdrawal and carb cravings. He said, “you can take supplements such as Chromium picolinate -- 1,000 mg daily -- to help with sugar withdrawal.” He added, “Vitamin B complex, 100 percent daily allowance, helps with carbohydrate cravings.”
As a life coach, the majority of people I coach are struggling to remove sugar from their diets. Making little changes, such as (1) completely eliminating soda is a powerful first step that can produce immediate weight loss (FYI: one of my gals lost 10 pounds in 2 weeks), or (2) asking the entire family to join you in eliminating excessive sugar can be an immediate source of accountability--and is especially helpful to children, and (3) replacing sugar with spices (such as cinnamon) or using natural, calorie free substitutes (such as stevia) will have big results: weight loss, lowering the risks of obesity and diabetes, and a healthier lifestyle.
As an addict with 33 years of sobriety, I know how difficult it is to remove something from your life that has a hold on you. But I am living proof that when you become aware that you have a problem, the best thing you can do is to admit to another person that you need help, follow a detailed action plan to remove the addictive substance from your life, and be accountable to as many people as possible to stay sober!
Be encouraged,
Becky
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