In my life, a number of dear friends or their friends are fighting cancer of every type. In fact, yesterday, in group of 200 people, I asked anyone to stand who is close to someone (or they are personally) dealing with cancer. Over half of the audience stood up.
My own husband, five years ago, was diagnosed with prostate cancer. We faced the diagnosis and began our fight against it. Much of our protocol included natural supplements, as well as completely eliminating white sugar and white flour, pesticides or chemicals from his diet. I am happy to say, with the combination of this natural protocol, lots of prayer, no chemo, and robotic surgery, my husband has been cancer free for 3 years.
Every cancer is different. Every individual is different. Every fight against cancer is different, but because so many of us are daily facing the disease, it is very helpful to know there are ways to reduce the risk of cancer that are accessible to all, relatively inexpensive (compared to the high cost of medicine or medical procedures), and only require that we make little changes in our lifestyles in order to see big results.
The Mayo Clinic suggests 7 ways to reduce the risk of cancer:
1. Don’t Use Tobacco. My father was a smoker until the week he died. Due to tobacco, he lost much of his ability to walk or breathe easily for the last two decades of his life--no longer able to golf with the family or even walk the dog (both activities he loved.) My father-in-law was a smoker early in his life, yet suffered with lung cancer. Another, younger relative in my life who smoked, recently made the effort to quit smoking--and kept working at it--until he quit. It’s worth it.
2. Eat a healthy diet. I can’t convince you to eat healthier or even choose organic foods, but more and more restaurants are being forced (by their customers) to provide healthy options. Look for them and try them. Most of us who do cannot “go back” once we’ve stopped eating tons of sugar, tons of butter, tons of grease, or tons of flour. We see the difference in our energy, our waistline and our complexion.
3. Workout regularly and lose weight if necessary. As a life coach to women who are often 50 pounds overweight, I know that encouragement to get active is the first step to change. Moving--walking, swimming, dancing--is the next step. But staying inactive will never lead to a healthy body or weight. Find something fun and do it! Get an accountability partner, coach or trainer to keep you motivated.
4. Protect yourself from the sun. I love being outside. I have been to the dermatologist a few times lately and have been scolded (and zapped) by her for my obvious love for the sunny outdoors. Protection from the sun includes using the sunscreens, hats, and clothing that are available--consistently. Don't be lazy or forgetful. (I’m preaching to myself here.)
5-7. Get immunized, take early detection seriously and avoid risky behaviors. With the number of cancers that are related to our digestive systems, esophagus, liver and colon, we must begin to take our health--and that of our loved ones--more seriously than ever.
As you read this blog, consider your lifestyle:
Do you visit the fast food establishments and order greasy foods more than once a month?
Do you drink sodas daily or in large quantities?
Do you smoke cigarettes, cigars, or chew tobacco?
Have you considered eating organic fruits and vegetables? If not, why not?
Have you considered eating whole grain foods instead of white flour breads and pastries?
Does your family eat healthy--if not, why not?
You are an influencer. Making little changes in the way you eat and exercise will not only reduce the risk of cancer in your life, but it can have big results in the lives of those you love.
Be encouraged,
Becky
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Skins, Bullying and the Sexualization of Girls...what's next?
Many are calling, Skins, the newest MTV television show, "teen porn." Others are pressuring the network to take it off the air. But is it, as the show creators and cast suggest, the common behavior of the average American teenager?
Good Morning America, in response to the uproar over this show, invited Dr Michael Bradley, author of “When Things Get Crazy with your Teen” to be their guest. He suggested that adults watch controversial shows, such as Skins, with their children, rather than let them watch it with their friends or on their own. Dr. Bradley, an expert in the field of raising teenagers in this crazy culture, wisely cautioned adults saying, “It’s not so much what you tell them, but what you ask them.” He suggests that the old strategy (of isolating our kids from bad things) no longer works in this media-savvy world because this is a “new war.”
I agree--not necessarily that you have to watch the show with your kids, but that you need to talk with teens about what is really going on around them (not what you think or hope or feel is happening).
Whatever the “hot topic” in your student’s world--whether it is transported to them by way of television, music, movies, texts, Facebook posts, or telephone conversations--that is exactly what you should be talking about with them.
If you haven’t noticed--perhaps because you don’t have kids yet, or your kids are either grown or still toddlers--our culture is and has been consuming (swallowing alive) this young generation of Americans. From the sexualization of girls to the bullying of classmates, we--the collective mass of adults in America--are retreating like stunned observers, rather than standing up, mentoring and protecting this young generation of young boys and girls.
In the past twenty-five years, I’ve been a coach, a youth worker, as well as a speaker and author for high school and college students. As an advocate for this young generation, I am convinced that our culture is not changing for the better. For example, even a decade ago it wasn’t popular to be a binge-drinking, sex-crazed teenager. Today it is. Now dozens of television shows such as MTV’s Skins glorifies, suggests, or creates a false (and demoralizing) picture of what true love, passion, fun, or a person’s worth is based upon.
At the close of the GMA interview with Dr. Bradley, he said, “If you change a belief, you change the child.”
You don’t have to be a parent of a teenager to make a difference in the life a young person. Any co-worker, relative (aunt, uncle, or older sibling), teacher, administrator, school janitor, employee at their favorite hang-out, or neighbor can make a powerful and positive difference in a teenagers life. How? Talk to them about the culture. Ask questions about what you read or hear in the news. It’s okay to be clueless or surprised. Just don’t be judgmental. It’s okay to make statements of your beliefs and why you believe what you do. They need to hear that an adult has strong, moral convictions about love and life. Most of all, don’t assume teenagers aren’t looking, hoping, even begging for someone to tell them that it’s okay to have values, to stand apart, to respect others, or that it’s right to do those things!
To change culture (a big result), our nation needs individuals like you and me to pay attention to the young boys and girls in our circle of friends and family, in our neighborhoods, and in our communities.
This week, I encourage you to make a few little changes in the way you interact with tweens, teens, and twenties: Ask questions. Listen for their answers. Share your beliefs. Pray for them. Pray for our nation.
Be encouraged,
Becky
Good Morning America, in response to the uproar over this show, invited Dr Michael Bradley, author of “When Things Get Crazy with your Teen” to be their guest. He suggested that adults watch controversial shows, such as Skins, with their children, rather than let them watch it with their friends or on their own. Dr. Bradley, an expert in the field of raising teenagers in this crazy culture, wisely cautioned adults saying, “It’s not so much what you tell them, but what you ask them.” He suggests that the old strategy (of isolating our kids from bad things) no longer works in this media-savvy world because this is a “new war.”
I agree--not necessarily that you have to watch the show with your kids, but that you need to talk with teens about what is really going on around them (not what you think or hope or feel is happening).
Whatever the “hot topic” in your student’s world--whether it is transported to them by way of television, music, movies, texts, Facebook posts, or telephone conversations--that is exactly what you should be talking about with them.
If you haven’t noticed--perhaps because you don’t have kids yet, or your kids are either grown or still toddlers--our culture is and has been consuming (swallowing alive) this young generation of Americans. From the sexualization of girls to the bullying of classmates, we--the collective mass of adults in America--are retreating like stunned observers, rather than standing up, mentoring and protecting this young generation of young boys and girls.
In the past twenty-five years, I’ve been a coach, a youth worker, as well as a speaker and author for high school and college students. As an advocate for this young generation, I am convinced that our culture is not changing for the better. For example, even a decade ago it wasn’t popular to be a binge-drinking, sex-crazed teenager. Today it is. Now dozens of television shows such as MTV’s Skins glorifies, suggests, or creates a false (and demoralizing) picture of what true love, passion, fun, or a person’s worth is based upon.
At the close of the GMA interview with Dr. Bradley, he said, “If you change a belief, you change the child.”
You don’t have to be a parent of a teenager to make a difference in the life a young person. Any co-worker, relative (aunt, uncle, or older sibling), teacher, administrator, school janitor, employee at their favorite hang-out, or neighbor can make a powerful and positive difference in a teenagers life. How? Talk to them about the culture. Ask questions about what you read or hear in the news. It’s okay to be clueless or surprised. Just don’t be judgmental. It’s okay to make statements of your beliefs and why you believe what you do. They need to hear that an adult has strong, moral convictions about love and life. Most of all, don’t assume teenagers aren’t looking, hoping, even begging for someone to tell them that it’s okay to have values, to stand apart, to respect others, or that it’s right to do those things!
To change culture (a big result), our nation needs individuals like you and me to pay attention to the young boys and girls in our circle of friends and family, in our neighborhoods, and in our communities.
This week, I encourage you to make a few little changes in the way you interact with tweens, teens, and twenties: Ask questions. Listen for their answers. Share your beliefs. Pray for them. Pray for our nation.
Be encouraged,
Becky
Sunday, January 16, 2011
4 Little Changes, 4 (or more) Big Results
Every few months, I like to remind you that you can change every area of your life--today! You don't have to wait a month or a year to see immediate and big results. You just have to be willing to make little changes--like the ones I've suggested below:
PHYSICALLY: The statistics don’t lie. We are a nation that is fat…and getting fatter. Most likely, you are all in a relationship with someone who is obese or has diabetes (unless of course, you suffer from it yourself).
Doctors admit that the first and best course of action to take in order to reverse obesity and diabetes is to lose just a LITTLE weight. Studies repeatedly conclude that weight loss, even a little, can immediately reduce the various health risks attached to extra, unwanted pounds.
Here's one little change that will have a big result: Eliminate soda (or other sugary drinks) from your diet for one month. I call it SODABRIETY. If you eliminate all soda (note: there are 250 calories per 12 ounce can x 2 cans a day = about 500 calories), you have the potential to lose one pound (3500 calories) a week! Yes, ONE POUND A WEEK, just by eliminating soda! (Just imagine what might happen if you add a little exercise and cut back on fried or fatty foods?)
Are you in? SODABRIETY for one month?
EMOTIONALLY: I live with a counselor. He works primarily with Seriously Dating, Pre-Married, and Married Couples. That means we have to practice what he (just kidding) preaches!
Is there one little change you can make today that will immediately improve your most important relationship and allow you to experience a big result? Yes! Develop an anger diffusing statement. All couples disagree. Anger is inevitable. So, since you know it’s coming—but because you don’t know when—if you have an agreed upon “statement” to use when either of you feels out-of-control, it can bring immediate calm and reduce the risk of impulsively hurting someone you love. Try it. Brainstorm just one phrase that would signal a "time-out" to your partner. What's our statement? When I start to bug Roger, he says, “Fiesty.” When he says it, he makes me laugh. That's a big result! Rather than end up in a blow up, he is signaling to me that he is getting frustrated and doesn’t want to get angry. We just "back off" the discussion for a few minutes and start over when calm. Try it!
(Roger is hosting two couples’ events in Costa Mesa, Ca. To register for the 5 Week Seriously Dating or Engaged Workshop beginning January 22, 2011, call 714.384.0914 or email eabdelatif@rockharbor.org and a Compelling Marriage Conference on February 11-12.)
SPIRITUALLY: Almost twenty-seven years ago, I needed help to grow spiritually. Spiritual growth, for me, isn’t mystical. It’s practical. I made one little change in my daily routine in February of 1984 and I believe it has impacted every area of my life! I committed to reading a 365-Day Bible, from cover to cover, in just 15 minutes a day, one day at a time. Have I seen a big result? I have stayed married for over 3 decades. I’ve raised a great son who desires to make a difference in this world. And I’ve fulfilled my passions of becoming an author, speaker, and fitness instructor. I'd say that's big! What do you think; worth a try?
MENTALLY: Most everyone feels the pressure to get more organized, accomplish more, earn more money, feel less stressed, lose weight, or get out of debt. But none of those things can happen overnight. They happen over time—one day at a time. In my life coaching practice, I encourage my coach-ees to spend at least 10 minutes a day planning: 4 minutes when you get up to look at the day’s “to-do’s”, 2 minutes around noon time to make any adjustments, and 4 minutes at day’s end to review the day and transfer (to tomorrow) any unfinished business. W. Clement Stone said, “If you fail to plan you plan to fail.” Give yourself the gift of daily planning: 10 minutes with your calendar and to-do list. What’s the big result? Peace and productivity! Who doesn’t want that?
Be encouraged to make 4 little changes in 2011 and get the big results of peace, productivity, passion, and purpose.
Becky
PHYSICALLY: The statistics don’t lie. We are a nation that is fat…and getting fatter. Most likely, you are all in a relationship with someone who is obese or has diabetes (unless of course, you suffer from it yourself).
Doctors admit that the first and best course of action to take in order to reverse obesity and diabetes is to lose just a LITTLE weight. Studies repeatedly conclude that weight loss, even a little, can immediately reduce the various health risks attached to extra, unwanted pounds.
Here's one little change that will have a big result: Eliminate soda (or other sugary drinks) from your diet for one month. I call it SODABRIETY. If you eliminate all soda (note: there are 250 calories per 12 ounce can x 2 cans a day = about 500 calories), you have the potential to lose one pound (3500 calories) a week! Yes, ONE POUND A WEEK, just by eliminating soda! (Just imagine what might happen if you add a little exercise and cut back on fried or fatty foods?)
Are you in? SODABRIETY for one month?
EMOTIONALLY: I live with a counselor. He works primarily with Seriously Dating, Pre-Married, and Married Couples. That means we have to practice what he (just kidding) preaches!
Is there one little change you can make today that will immediately improve your most important relationship and allow you to experience a big result? Yes! Develop an anger diffusing statement. All couples disagree. Anger is inevitable. So, since you know it’s coming—but because you don’t know when—if you have an agreed upon “statement” to use when either of you feels out-of-control, it can bring immediate calm and reduce the risk of impulsively hurting someone you love. Try it. Brainstorm just one phrase that would signal a "time-out" to your partner. What's our statement? When I start to bug Roger, he says, “Fiesty.” When he says it, he makes me laugh. That's a big result! Rather than end up in a blow up, he is signaling to me that he is getting frustrated and doesn’t want to get angry. We just "back off" the discussion for a few minutes and start over when calm. Try it!
(Roger is hosting two couples’ events in Costa Mesa, Ca. To register for the 5 Week Seriously Dating or Engaged Workshop beginning January 22, 2011, call 714.384.0914 or email eabdelatif@rockharbor.org and a Compelling Marriage Conference on February 11-12.)
SPIRITUALLY: Almost twenty-seven years ago, I needed help to grow spiritually. Spiritual growth, for me, isn’t mystical. It’s practical. I made one little change in my daily routine in February of 1984 and I believe it has impacted every area of my life! I committed to reading a 365-Day Bible, from cover to cover, in just 15 minutes a day, one day at a time. Have I seen a big result? I have stayed married for over 3 decades. I’ve raised a great son who desires to make a difference in this world. And I’ve fulfilled my passions of becoming an author, speaker, and fitness instructor. I'd say that's big! What do you think; worth a try?
MENTALLY: Most everyone feels the pressure to get more organized, accomplish more, earn more money, feel less stressed, lose weight, or get out of debt. But none of those things can happen overnight. They happen over time—one day at a time. In my life coaching practice, I encourage my coach-ees to spend at least 10 minutes a day planning: 4 minutes when you get up to look at the day’s “to-do’s”, 2 minutes around noon time to make any adjustments, and 4 minutes at day’s end to review the day and transfer (to tomorrow) any unfinished business. W. Clement Stone said, “If you fail to plan you plan to fail.” Give yourself the gift of daily planning: 10 minutes with your calendar and to-do list. What’s the big result? Peace and productivity! Who doesn’t want that?
Be encouraged to make 4 little changes in 2011 and get the big results of peace, productivity, passion, and purpose.
Becky
Sunday, January 9, 2011
A Not-So-Fun but very relevant topic: Mental Illness
If you have delved into the story of the senseless shooting at a local grocery store in Tucson, Arizona, this past weekend, it becomes quickly apparent that the young man, who is the alleged shooter, had recently been exhibiting mental instability.
Because this column is dedicated to helping people change their lives, I feel that it is an appropriate time—especially in light of the tragedy—to ask if you would be able to identify and respond to people in your life who exhibit mental health problems?
In my own work with students and families, it is becoming more common to hear of teens and twenties who exhibit unexplained behavior, self-medicate with illegal or prescription drugs, or leave school or home for months at a time without making contact with their families.
As more and more young men and women—especially college aged—are struggling with mental illness, very often, their behavior is ignored or misunderstood by those closest to them.
The Mental Health America website reports that, “An estimated 54 million Americans suffer from some form of mental disorder in a given year,” suggesting that most families are not prepared to deal will mental illness.
On the very informative MHA website, they include suggestions for the caregivers and family members who are closest to those struggling, as well as listing warning signs and symptoms of young children (hyperactivity and poor grades), adolescents (prolonged negative mood and defiance of authority) or adults (confused thinking, excessive fears, and social withdrawal). Most helpful are the complete lists of advocacy networks and educational resources supportive of a wide range of disorders.
If someone you love is struggling with mental illness, it’s important to get ahead of a situation versus ignore it, especially knowing your available options for seeking care or even hospitalization.
If we, as a larger community, can make one little change that will have a big result it would be to become compassionate (rather than judgmental) listeners to parents, teachers, or students who are facing mental illness. So often, the families of the struggler feel ashamed to talk about their loved one. They feel judged or misunderstood. If you are willing to listen, help research, and acknowledge the illness as treatable, rather than condemn it, the family will be less likely to hide it and more willing to get help.
Be encouraged (and say your prayers for the families impacted by this tragedy),
Becky
Because this column is dedicated to helping people change their lives, I feel that it is an appropriate time—especially in light of the tragedy—to ask if you would be able to identify and respond to people in your life who exhibit mental health problems?
In my own work with students and families, it is becoming more common to hear of teens and twenties who exhibit unexplained behavior, self-medicate with illegal or prescription drugs, or leave school or home for months at a time without making contact with their families.
As more and more young men and women—especially college aged—are struggling with mental illness, very often, their behavior is ignored or misunderstood by those closest to them.
The Mental Health America website reports that, “An estimated 54 million Americans suffer from some form of mental disorder in a given year,” suggesting that most families are not prepared to deal will mental illness.
On the very informative MHA website, they include suggestions for the caregivers and family members who are closest to those struggling, as well as listing warning signs and symptoms of young children (hyperactivity and poor grades), adolescents (prolonged negative mood and defiance of authority) or adults (confused thinking, excessive fears, and social withdrawal). Most helpful are the complete lists of advocacy networks and educational resources supportive of a wide range of disorders.
If someone you love is struggling with mental illness, it’s important to get ahead of a situation versus ignore it, especially knowing your available options for seeking care or even hospitalization.
If we, as a larger community, can make one little change that will have a big result it would be to become compassionate (rather than judgmental) listeners to parents, teachers, or students who are facing mental illness. So often, the families of the struggler feel ashamed to talk about their loved one. They feel judged or misunderstood. If you are willing to listen, help research, and acknowledge the illness as treatable, rather than condemn it, the family will be less likely to hide it and more willing to get help.
Be encouraged (and say your prayers for the families impacted by this tragedy),
Becky
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Miss Dr. Laura? Call me on Tuesday, January 4th!
Want to chat?
I'm filling in--as a guest host on radio--for a friend, Rich Buhler who is the host of Talk from the Heart.
No matter where you live, you can listen to me "live" online or by tuning in on Tuesday, January 4th between 3-5 pm PST on KBRT 740 AM if you live in Southern California.
Topic? How to make Little Changes and see BIG results.
Want to listen online? Visit www.kbrt740.com AND call me with your questions.
The toll free call-in number is 800.227.5278.
Talk to you then!
Becky
I'm filling in--as a guest host on radio--for a friend, Rich Buhler who is the host of Talk from the Heart.
No matter where you live, you can listen to me "live" online or by tuning in on Tuesday, January 4th between 3-5 pm PST on KBRT 740 AM if you live in Southern California.
Topic? How to make Little Changes and see BIG results.
Want to listen online? Visit www.kbrt740.com AND call me with your questions.
The toll free call-in number is 800.227.5278.
Talk to you then!
Becky
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)